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Apologies for the bad accents.
Five Germans in an Audi Quattro arrive at the Italian border.
The Italian customs officer stops them and tells them:
"Itsa illegala to putta 5 people in a Quattro!"
"Vot do you mean, it's illegal?" asks the German driver.
"Quattro means four!" replies the Italian official.
"Quattro iz just ze name of ze automobile" the Germans retort unbelievingly.
"Look at ze dam paperz: Ze car is dezigned to carry 5 people!"
"You canta pulla thata one on me!" replies the Italian customs officer.
"Quattro meansa four. You havea five-a people ina your car and you are therefore breaking the law!"
The German replies angrily "You ideeiot! Call ze zupervizor over! ... Schnell! I vont to spik to zumvun viz more intelligence!!!"
"Sorry" responds the Italian, "He canta comea ... He'sa buzy witha two guys in a Fiat Uno."
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OK I'll give you a 5 for the accent! 
Along with Antimatter and Dark Matter they've discovered the existence of Doesn't Matter which appears to have no effect on the universe whatsoever!
Rich Tennant 5th Wave
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An oldie but a goodie. Nice accents! 
But seriously: If that really is the law in Italy, Citroën can't expect to sell a lot of C-Zero's[^] there 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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Please refrain from the 'herbals' before posting here.
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Unbelievable what should be able to do my GSR 600 motorbike...
Veni, vidi, vici.
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... but isn't it only a 0.6l...
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An amazing number of horses, anyway. 
Veni, vidi, vici.
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Abhinav S wrote: He'sa buzy witha two guys in a Fiat Uno."
what is the capacity of Fiat uno?
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Just heard a man say on the TV that they don't have crime here any longer.
(sorry obviously I just made that up myself)
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And don't you wish you hadn't?
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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DNFTT
I will never again mention that Dalek Dave was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel.
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Few years ago in Cork (Ireland)
Awesome! Awesome! Awesome!
But without Guinness, just Rebel red
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Meh, you're not trying hard enough!
One memorable year, I went to the Irish Embassy in Budapest for their reception. Now this was divided into three sections - diplomatic core, business folk and finally ex-pats. Due to a great bit of blagging - my company was working with an Irish Bank at the same time - I got invited to ALL THREE RECEPTIONS. That meant I was there, with my boss, from about 1 until 7 or 8 when the call went out to relocate to Becketts [maysherestinpeaceandriseinglory]. Well once in Becketts the party got going again and before you could say "feck it, I'm feckin fecked and it's barely feckin evnin" the bands were on, the black stuff was flowing and boys were being boys [oft with the girls].
Looking back [hindsight is easy], when the third band finished and most people were leaving I should have gone home. But Decko, the genial host, insisted we stay for breakfast. Now the problem here was that there was no breakfast food in the kitchen. But that didn't matter as there wasn't a cook either. So the chef is summoned, with the order to pick up bacon and eggs for about 40 people on his way in. At 3 in the morning.
Things did not improve. Breakfast was served around five, with the mandatory whiskey. I can't be certain but I think the Guinness was running precariously low at this point. I made my excuses around 7:30, wandered unsteadily home for a quick shower and off to work around 8:30.
My boss had the audacity to complain that I wasn't in by 8. 
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Nagy Vilmos wrote: My boss had the audacity to complain that I wasn't in by 8.
Was he in himself? Then you could have complained that he hadn't tried hard enough either...
Nagy Vilmos wrote: boys were being boys [oft with the girls].
Those were the days!
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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He got in marginally before I did because his flat was on the way to the office...
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I don't remember to many St. Pat's days, I remember beginning them just not the ends.
Along with Antimatter and Dark Matter they've discovered the existence of Doesn't Matter which appears to have no effect on the universe whatsoever!
Rich Tennant 5th Wave
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...but I was watching the first episode in the latest season with Bumblebee Clusterfuck yesterday... 
I don't know if it's just me, but I think that the series is becoming more and more odd. I mean: The first season was perfectly ok. The second season slightly more incomprehensible. But this season seems to be completely derailed (no pun intended if you've seen episode one).
And as I've mentioned before: Bramblepatch Cucumberbund is definitely the wrong person for the role
Or maybe I'm just getting old...
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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Johnny J. wrote: Bublebee Clusterfuck
Isn't that the 'technical term' for what happens in Spring ... when all the flowers open and the insects emerge from hibernation all at once? 
"State acheived after eating too many chocolate-covered coconut bars - bountiful"
Chris C-B
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Could bee...
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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I saw my first bees over the weekend, makes I happy. I spent a lot of time in the garden on Saturday and I even cut the grass. Yesterday we all went out in the car it made me feeeel gooood.
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Ah ... you old softy!
"State acheived after eating too many chocolate-covered coconut bars - bountiful"
Chris C-B
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DeathByChocolate wrote: you old softy!
You've been talking to his wife, haven't you?
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
-----
I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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Cheeky!
"State acheived after eating too many chocolate-covered coconut bars - bountiful"
Chris C-B
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"A dearth of ston iro bronz?"(9)
---------------------------------
Obscurum per obscurius.
Ad astra per alas porci.
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur .
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