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Darwin Award Contender wannabe?[^]
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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Well, he's not dead, and there's no indication that his reproductive facilities were damaged in any way. That means he's not taken himself out of the gene-pool, and is therefore ineligible for a Darwin award.
He's still an idiot, though.
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
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Does not this qualify for about 50% of the planet's population ?
~RaGE();
I think words like 'destiny' are a way of trying to find order where none exists. - Christian Graus
Entropy isn't what it used to.
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Richard Deeming wrote: ineligible for a Darwin award
Hence the "wannabe" in my OP... 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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Just had a great week in France, epic weather, best snow in 50 years. The skiing was awesome. Shame the accommodation was so sh*t. Thats the last time I book a week in France I expect, Austria next!
So, skiing. There is nothing so sublime as freefalling down a mountain in that perfect balance between chaos and disaster. Of course the week doesn't start so well:
The first two days are absoloutely knackering. I don't know if its the altitude, fresh air, or relative lack of exercise the rest of the year (or that skiing is such specific exercise nothing prepares you for it) but after two days you can barely walk.
The thing is, do we ever do exercise ALL day, days in a row? Never. Skiing is brutal on the body. The sudden shock of it leaves me a shattered hulk.
What I used to do a lot at this stage was do a day snowboarding and let the muscles rest a bit/use different ones, but this year I just took a day off. (One year I didn't and could barely walk by the end of the week.  )
Then come the last two days and miraculously your body seems to have overcome and adapted because it gets quite easy, a bit breathless if you ski fast, some thigh burn if you hold a turn too long, but nothing like the first two days.
And despite expectations my technique improved a surprising amount. Didn't try to, or expect to, it was as if the legs just started doing things a bit better on their own!
Anyway, still plenty of snow left, might have to head up for a day at the weekend....
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Erudite_Eric wrote: The sudden shock of it leaves me a shattered hulk
A shattered hulk[^].
Sounds like you had fun, cool!
It was broke, so I fixed it.
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"France, epic weather, best snow in 50 years" well interesting. Lucky you! I live in french part of Switzerland and this year has not been generous with snow in and around here.
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A man and woman where on their honeymoon after a long and very happy courtship. On their honeymoon, they decide to take their horses through the beautiful mountain passes of Europe. As the horses were crossing a small stream, the woman's horse mis-steps and jostles the man's wife. Once across the stream, the man dismounts, walks over to the horse, and stares into its eyes. Finally, he states, "That's one." The man remounts his horse and they continue their ride.
A bit further down the path, the woman's horse stumbles when stepping over a fallen tree. The man dismounts, stares the horse in the eyes, and boldly states, "That's two!" He returns to his saddle and they move on.
As the afternoon sun began to set, the woman's horse once again lost its footing on a mossy slope. The man dismounts, moves to the woman's horse, and helps his wife out of the saddle the man. Moving to the front of the horse he stares it in the eyes and firmly says, "That's three," removes a pistol from his vest, and shots the horse dead.
The woman, quite upset at seeing the beautiful horse killed, says to her husband, "That's terrible, why would you do such a thing!"
The man stares at his wife and firmly says, "That's one!"
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
-----
I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary on the beaches in Montego Bay, Jamaica. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town.
People would say, "What a peaceful & loving couple". The local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.
The Husband replied: "Well, it dates back to our honeymoon in America," explained the man. "We visited the Grand Canyon, in Arizona, and took a trip, down to the bottom of the canyon, by horse. We hadn't gone too far when my wife's horse stumbled and she almost fell off. My wife looked down at the horse and quietly said, "That's once."
"We proceeded a little further and horse stumbled again. Once more my wife quietly said, "That's twice."
"We hadn't gone a half-mile when the horse stumbled for the third time. My wife quietly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead.
I shouted at her, "What's wrong with you, woman! Why did you shoot the poor animal like that? are you crazy??" She looked at me, and quietly said, "That's once."
"And from that moment.....we have lived happily every after."
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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Hadn't heard that version. 
Along with Antimatter and Dark Matter they've discovered the existence of Doesn't Matter which appears to have no effect on the universe whatsoever!
Rich Tennant 5th Wave
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That's two...
It was broke, so I fixed it.
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Guess I'll refrain from posting it seen from the horse's point of view then... 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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Been a while since I heard it.
Along with Antimatter and Dark Matter they've discovered the existence of Doesn't Matter which appears to have no effect on the universe whatsoever!
Rich Tennant 5th Wave
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Yeah, it's sure to be a Leslie! 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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I just noticed that this joke is full of spilling errors (well, I found two at least). I apologize; All I did was cut & paste. But to be Frank, I don't feel like correcting the errors in a joke... I'll leave that up to the [other] grammar-nazis! 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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Johnny J. wrote: I don't feel like correcting the errors in a joke... I'll leave that up to the [other] grammar-nazis!
DD it is your call to action.
The report of my death was an exaggeration - Mark Twain
Simply Elegant Designs JimmyRopes Designs
I'm on-line therefore I am.
JimmyRopes
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Heard it that they were riding in a carriage.
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Ohh, so Leslie, how are you?
Don't mind those people who say you're not HOT. At least you know you're COOL.
I'm not afraid of falling, I'm afraid of the sudden stop at the end of the fall! - Richard Andrew x64
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She's going to be so proud of me. Last time I was there she said I needed to lose weight and I've lost 130lbs, broke up with my GF.
Along with Antimatter and Dark Matter they've discovered the existence of Doesn't Matter which appears to have no effect on the universe whatsoever!
Rich Tennant 5th Wave
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Mike Hankey wrote: I've lost 130lbs
Got to thia and thaught jeez...
Mike Hankey wrote: broke up with my GF
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Mike Hankey wrote: I've lost 130lbs
Please share your secret with the rest of the class
Microsoft ... the only place where VARIANT_TRUE != true
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It's all about ground rules; if you bitch - you're out, if you gripe - you're out, if you raise you're voice - you're out, etc.. Varies with each one!
Along with Antimatter and Dark Matter they've discovered the existence of Doesn't Matter which appears to have no effect on the universe whatsoever!
Rich Tennant 5th Wave
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I am not talking about ditching your girlfriend, i am asking about the loosing weight program. Please share what you do to lose so much weight and for how long you didn't gain anything.
Microsoft ... the only place where VARIANT_TRUE != true
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HE didn't lose weight himself. The 130 lbs he lost WAS his girlfriend. Just a joke in other words...
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
-----
I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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