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Making my second cup of coffee of the day, I lift the milk out of the fridge, catch the shelf above it, which falls out...dropping a whole big jar of mayonnaise on the floor.
Which smashes, leaving me a wide "splash zone" of mayo and broken glass to clear up. Joy.
That's not a good combo really - raw-egg-based condiment mixed with broken glass - so I have to manually (and very carefully) collect all the glass into a cardboard box, followed by all the mayo-and-glass mix, which can then all go in a plastic bag so it doesn't leak / smell, followed by the mayo so I can use a broom to sweep up the tiny glass bits, then a mop and bucket to clean the floor.
Needless to say, the cat does not make this a simple process. 
So, how's your day going? 
Never underestimate the power of stupid things in large numbers
--- Serious Sam
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Your history striked me as a cultural difference, here where i live there's only one brand of mayonnaise (a very cheap one) who sells it on glass jars, all the others sell plastic containers that bounce when throw at the floor
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I speak from experience not every plastic container bounces, in fact from reference if the container is still factory sealed it will rupture and give an equal to glass explosion! (notably if you have a designer kitchen floor of barely smoothed slate  ) I believe the brand leader in the UK still comes in glass jars, the cheapo supermarket own brand might come in plastic...
Glenn
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Indeed - Hellmanns 800g, used once...
Never underestimate the power of stupid things in large numbers
--- Serious Sam
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strangely thats goes for me too, I once bought hellmanns and used it once too!
now it sits next to that industrial waste that is sold as a food stuff, marmite i think its called(thank god the sewage industry never thought of disposing its waste by labling it a food stuff)
You cant outrun the world, but there is no harm in getting a head start
Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.
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Bergholt Stuttley Johnson wrote: thank god the sewage industry never thought of disposing its waste by labling it a food stuff
McDonald's?
Never underestimate the power of stupid things in large numbers
--- Serious Sam
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McDonald's? food stuff? hardly
You cant outrun the world, but there is no harm in getting a head start
Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.
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Neither is Marmite!
Never underestimate the power of stupid things in large numbers
--- Serious Sam
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point taken
You cant outrun the world, but there is no harm in getting a head start
Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.
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Marmite is great! Had two slices of toast and Marmite for breakfast and I haven't stopped [redacted] yet.
speramus in juniperus
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Mayo is good - it's the base for a Prawn Cocktail sauce, it makes coleslaw, and (thanks Burger King!) a little bit smeared on a burger bun actually enhances the meaty taste (provided it's under the lettuce so it doesn't "cook") as well as adding a slight moisture to the whole.
Never underestimate the power of stupid things in large numbers
--- Serious Sam
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thought burger king used cabbage not lettice!
You cant outrun the world, but there is no harm in getting a head start
Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.
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Only instead of onion...
Never underestimate the power of stupid things in large numbers
--- Serious Sam
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no seriously I think they do use cabbage not lettice as it stays crisp longer, I'd hate to think what they use instead of onions
You cant outrun the world, but there is no harm in getting a head start
Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.
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Like the jar of mango chutney that gets forgotten about, you could stick tiles to the space shuttle with jar I found on boxing day!
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we were clearing out the mother in laws cupboards on boxing day and found a packet of salt with a sell by date on it (that had expired) what is the world coming to!
You cant outrun the world, but there is no harm in getting a head start
Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.
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What makes me laugh is Water and Wine that have sell by dates... 
Never underestimate the power of stupid things in large numbers
--- Serious Sam
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Strangely Alcohol around never gets past date, I wonder why?
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water can stagnate or absorb checmicals from the plastic bottles and wine can go off but what the heck can salt do?
although with nagy and dave around, a date on wine is like exceeding the speed of light, a theoretical idea that cannot be reached in the real world
You cant outrun the world, but there is no harm in getting a head start
Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.
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Plus, good wine matures in the bottle through a slow reaction with oxygen that leaks through the cork.
Never underestimate the power of stupid things in large numbers
--- Serious Sam
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If you have a wine with a cork, screw caps are the norm now and synthetics cork I think give an air tight seal.
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i dont drink the putred remains of grape so I may be wrong , but, I thouight you stored wine with the cork down to prevent this occuring
You cant outrun the world, but there is no harm in getting a head start
Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.
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You store wine with the cork down to keep the cork moist and expanded, yes - but it breaths slightly, it's not quite air tight. It's when too much oxygen gets through that you get a problem because that encourages mold and yeast spores to breed and taint the wine, leading to a "corked" bottle (and an annoyed Sommelier)
Never underestimate the power of stupid things in large numbers
--- Serious Sam
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Yeah, that happens to most other plastic containers here, but the mayo ones are different. They're 3 times as thick and have a heavy bottom that literally bounces on falls.
It wasn't always like that, but i guess the brands got tired of replacing broken jars on the supermarkets.
The thing is that on the supermarkets whe have by here, the brand is responsible for their product. They're the ones who place it on the shelfs and the ones who clean up the mess and pay the costs if a flask blows up.
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I drove into a supermarket car park one day and parked next to a quite expensive, very nice car - a Merc IIRC.
When I got out of my car I noticed a very pungent smell and saw that the fancy car now looked like someone had thrown a pot of yellow paint over it. A little investigation showed that the Merc was covered in mustard! I then spotted a plastic squeezy bottle under the rear wheel of my car - someone had presumably dropped the said plastic bottle when loading their car, and I had driven over it while parking. The thing exploded under the pressure and the contents took the easiest way out.
When I finished laughing I moved my car to a different space!
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I'm an optoholic - my glass is always half full of vodka.
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