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... The bartender says: "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get you?"
"Pop," goes the weasel!
Yeah, yeah, I know! The door is thataway =>
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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Never argue with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
Mark Twain
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Come on, do we really need another lawyer joke?
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
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Forogar wrote: Come on, do we really need another lawyer joke?
FTFY
"If we don't change direction, we'll end up where we're going"
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Boom! 
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A weasel walks onto a landmine...
Ron Anders wrote: Boom!
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Seems like the Boom has been lowered! 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
-
Never argue with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
Mark Twain
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Doh! Some things you just can un-see or un-read. 
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Perfect! My work here is done (for today!) 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
-
Never argue with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
Mark Twain
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That's the way the money goes! 
"Go forth into the source" - Neal Morse
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A topical one for Londoners
Stab and die maybe you would be safer here (7)
We can’t stop here, this is bat country - Hunter S Thompson RIP
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"A Bedsit"? 
Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640
Never throw anything away, Griff
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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Good effort but nope
We can’t stop here, this is bat country - Hunter S Thompson RIP
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I did it yesterday, so I thought I'd play with the anagram instead of answering!
Mind you, you're lucky if you can afford to buy a bedsit in Londinium these days ... or unlucky, in that it probably means you live there.
Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640
Never throw anything away, Griff
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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I have a clue that needs using, so...
Bastide = safe place
Anagram of stab and die.
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You are up tomorrow sir well done
We can’t stop here, this is bat country - Hunter S Thompson RIP
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I was just having a read over the wiki page[^], does anybody else find this sentence a bit strange?
wiki page: The bastides were so successful against their opponents in the Hundred Years War that the English adopted them for themselves, first in France and later in Wales.
That doesn't make sense right? Or is it trying to imply that the English built them in France and Wales while they were hanging out over there?
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I was trying to find a way to stretch Beirut to 7 letters.
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. - Mark Twain
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In those situations (like most) it is best to just pass the blame. Just state the answer as fact, and tell the OP that they counted wrong.
The key to making this work is: don't back down! They will eventually tire and just let you have it 
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That could be a viable approach.
My preemptive answer for tomorrow is:
HADDOCK (too obvious to require an explanation!)
Now to think of a clue for Thursday ...
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. - Mark Twain
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PeejayAdams wrote: HADDOCK
Once owned, since lost. Where my boat sleeps next to a fish (8)
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Are you sure you counted right? The answer is quite clearly POLLOCK but that only has 7 letters ...
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. - Mark Twain
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PeejayAdams wrote: The answer is quite clearly POLLOCK but that only has 7 letters
Actually, if you count again you will find that HERRING is 8 letters like I said. But I am tired of arguing, so I concede, you win... you get to do yesterdays clue!
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I expected Michael Martin would pop in with "scrotum" as the answer!
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Hauled into a managers meeting, which is already in full stream, to 'advise' on some reports they (think they) require...
The first thing I hear is the one phrase guaranteed to strike terror into me and raise the hairs on the back of my neck - "THIS IS REALLY SIMPLE AND WE'RE SURE IT WON'T TAKE YOU LONG..."
Now I know I'm in trouble.
Spent the next twenty minutes trying to explain why there were technical reasons it would be anything but simple, while they got more and more annoyed at my obvious stupidity (to the extent that one started 'teaching' me how to cut and paste in Excel....)
These people think every page in the application is a seperate DB table (despite being told on numerous occasions that its not that simple) which is why it should be so easy to get the info into a report - just go to that page...
I need a different job! 
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How far is too far?
Hard to say. Punching them in the face would doubtlessly be a valid response. But gutting them with a swiss army knife may be going too far in some peoples opinion... 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
-
Never argue with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
Mark Twain
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