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I think I would take first the food processor
M.D.V. 
If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about?
Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you
Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.
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A lack of dental records identified the man as Mr. Gurney.
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People without limbs and/or teeth apparently can do a lot.[^]
"the debugger doesn't tell me anything because this code compiles just fine" - random QA comment
"Facebook is where you tell lies to your friends. Twitter is where you tell the truth to strangers." - chriselst
"I don't drink any more... then again, I don't drink any less." - Mike Mullikins uncle
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These things happen but they are rare. The story was well done though!
Socialism is the Axe Body Spray of political ideologies: It never does what it claims to do, but people too young to know better keep buying it anyway. (Glenn Reynolds)
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Munchies_Matt wrote: No teeth and he orders steak? What does he expect to happen!
Maybe he expected someone to pre-chew it for him.
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It was passing the glob to him that did it! hahaha!
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The visuals. 
I suppose that's my own damned fault.
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Insurance companies are warning campers: If your tent is stolen during the night, you won't be covered!
Just kidding of course! Everybody knows that IT people would rather be dead than leave their beloved 'puters... 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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Never argue with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
Mark Twain
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I asked my Llama if he wanted to go camping. "Alpaca tent", he replied.
Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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Better not be somewere rocky so he doesn't risk stubbing a camel toe! 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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Never argue with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
Mark Twain
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And now we're headed soapboxward. Getting intents!
Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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You're right! I'm humpled and shameful! 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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Never argue with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
Mark Twain
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I asked my Alpaca if it was OK to go camping. 'No probllama' he replied. 
"State acheived after eating too many chocolate-covered coconut bars - bountiful"
Chris C-B
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*Groan* 
Glad to see you are still here - long time no post?
Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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OriginalGriff wrote: *Groan*
... you've got a nerve! 
OriginalGriff wrote: Glad to see you are still here - long time no post?
Just busy ... you know how it is. 
"State acheived after eating too many chocolate-covered coconut bars - bountiful"
Chris C-B
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“That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”
― Christopher Hitchens
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Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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Never argue with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
Mark Twain
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Reminds me of this Leslie:
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.
"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Watson replied, "I see millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?"
Watson pondered for a minute.
"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets."
"Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo."
"Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three."
"Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant."
"Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow."
"What does it tell you, Holmes?"
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: "Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!"
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So our cable provider in the area who provides internet and tv to our home and internet down at our (Mom and Pop) office emailed us yesterday to tell us they were going to shut off everything at 1:00 am and have it up at 5:am. So we let everyone know that uses our resources down at the office (some overseas) that this was going to happen and went to bed. This morning our home internet AND tv was down. We thought well bless their hearts they're running over and went to a phone based tether for the morning coffee. I went to the office and my wife who is a fighter pilot tech stay behind to get ready and call the internet people. She called me about 9 to tell me that the provider tech said no, it's just you at your house and it will be 2 days till it's back up. My wife railed them up one side and down the other for this including the fact that we are a "such and such provider disciple" and will not recommend your such and such service to anyone etc etc. and came to work. We both fumed all day down at our office as we went about our business. I even went home at lunch to give everything another reboot as stranger things have happened to no avail. Late today my wife ran over to get a check from a customer then went home. At quitin' time I got a call from my wife and home saying she had it all working. Seems our Labrador who has a bed in the "data center" corner of the spare room in our residence managed to work the wall wart for the provider amp loose enough with her back side over time, presumably, to power down the amp giving us signal. I didn't see that. She did. Boy I love her.
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This seems like an interesting story. I love a great rant! I also despise cable providers. I truly want to read this story.
Regrettably, I've enjoyed a few Guinness...perhaps a couple too many? On a possibly related note, the lack of paragraphs in the story has overwhelmed me.
Good luck tilting at that telecommunication windmill. Or, is it a cell tower? Its all a bit fuzzy at the moment
Update: I just finished reading the story. I'm definitely in the "dog person" camp and specifically a fan of Labs. I'm happy that your dog is only enamored of low voltage equipment. Keep it away from the AC
modified 2-Aug-18 23:13pm.
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Chocolate lab - both an excellent pet, and an excellent place to work
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AFAIK "Nutella" is searching for taste and product testers. I recommend you to apply
M.D.V. 
If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about?
Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you
Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.
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Is there a better feeling? I don't think so.
I am not the one who knocks. I never knock.
In fact, I hate knocking.
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