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It's all about raisin awareness really!
Ba-Tish! Did it again! 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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Never argue with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
Mark Twain
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I prefer the fermented grape juice from the Napa valley 
if (Object.DividedByZero == true) { Universe.Implode(); }
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I think it's even better from the Willamette Valley but that's just me.
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This is a plum joke - you have really pruned it down to the point where it could be told regularly.
Socialism is the Axe Body Spray of political ideologies: It never does what it claims to do, but people too young to know better keep buying it anyway. (Glenn Reynolds)
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...they bark!
Ba-tish! Thinking of quitting my day job, waddaya think? 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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Never argue with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
Mark Twain
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Leaf it out, willya?
Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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This is the root of all evil.
I have lived with several Zen masters - all of them were cats.
His last invention was an evil Lasagna. It didn't kill anyone, and it actually tasted pretty good.
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Wood you believe it?
Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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Indeed, I do knot.
Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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You're such a boy scout! 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
-
Never argue with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
Mark Twain
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If there were two of me, you could start a fire!
Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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If he knows nothing, he must be Jon Snow and not a boyscout.
I have lived with several Zen masters - all of them were cats.
His last invention was an evil Lasagna. It didn't kill anyone, and it actually tasted pretty good.
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Oh stop it wail you.
... such stuff as dreams are made on
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Make like a tree and leaf the Lounge.
Everyone is born right handed. Only the strongest overcome it.
Fight for left-handed rights and hand equality.
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Oak-ay then.Fir goodness sake I don't want to birch about this but with alder is to write about in this world you pick this!?!
Socialism is the Axe Body Spray of political ideologies: It never does what it claims to do, but people too young to know better keep buying it anyway. (Glenn Reynolds)
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Johnny J. wrote: ...they bark!
Unless they're like my greyhound Bacchus. He's named for the Greek and Roman god of, er, whine.
Software Zen: delete this;
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Do Northern Ireland soft drinks restrain the world's worst actor? (7, 4)
Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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Ha! I see what you've done there but surely to God, he's a billion times less awful than Tom Cruise!
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. - Mark Twain
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Tom Cruise does at least have more than two facial expressions - and they aren't almost identical.
Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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I'm just trying to enumerate those, let me see:
1) Mildly surprised beaver
2) erm, no, dammit, I'm stuck ...
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. - Mark Twain
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That's still more that Mr Cage!
Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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No way!
Nick Cage facial expressions:
1) Droopy Dog having a good day
2) Droopy Dog having a bad day
3) Droopy Dog having an indifferent day
Cage 3 Cruise 1 with no need for extra time or penalties.
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. - Mark Twain
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