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... you have a journalist writing articles about rogue hobbitses?
A Gollumnist!
"I had the right to remain silent, but I didn't have the ability!"
Ron White, Comedian
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That's just precious
New version: WinHeist Version 2.2.2 Beta I told my psychiatrist that I was hearing voices in my head. He said you don't have a psychiatrist!
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It does have a certain ring to it.
In this present crisis, government is not the solution to our problem; government is the problem. ~ Ronald Reagan
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Ringses. It does have certain ringses to it.
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Javascript documentation
Cheers,
Mick
------------------------------------------------
It doesn't matter how often or hard you fall on your arse, eventually you'll roll over and land on your feet.
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Here's a bit of a twist on conventional crossword clues. All of these are clued without definition and are self-descriptive in some way.
For example, Vaping (5, 6) could lead us to Crazy paving or Mono (4, 4) could give us Moon shot. All answers are commonplace words or phrases and most are fairly easy ...
1) Reaps (5, 6)
2) Thom (4, 5)
3) How sad (6, 4)
4) Shores (4, 6)
5) Shingle (6, 7)
6) Ape (7)
7) Lamina (4, 6)
8) Teats (7, 5)
9) No-no (4, 4)
10) Gib (3-4)
11) Intra (5, 5) (Two possible answers)
12) Brian (5, 6)
Slogans aren't solutions.
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Reaps -- Spear thrown
Thom -- Moth balls
How sad -- Shadow fall
Shores -- Wild horses
Shingle -- Broken english
Ape -- Peasoup(?)
Lamina -- Wild animal
Teats -- ? state
No-no -- High noon
Gib -- big-?
Intra -- Train wreck
Brian -- Brain ?
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That's most of them. I was thinking peanuts but pea soup works pretty well, similarly I was thinking of shadow play but I rather like shadow fall.
I've just realised that there's a rather ruder version of the last one than the one that I was originally thinking of (any yes, it does start with brain).
Slogans aren't solutions.
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...I've just been offered 8 legs of venison for £40....is that to dear?
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Leave it, with 8 legs it probably comes from Tschernobyl.
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
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Hey, eight legs is better than one leg and a nub, and there is nothing dear about that. Just saying...
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It could be too deer.
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
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What do you call a dear with no eyes?
No idea.
What do you call a dear with no eyes and no legs?
Still no idea.
What do you call a dear with no eyes, no legs and no nads?
Still no elephanting idea.
Pass my coat, I'm leaving...
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What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
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What do you call eyes with no eyes?
.
Jeremy Falcon
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Are you sure you don't mean a deer? Or is your girlfriend blind? 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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Well spotted, sir! 
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It doesn't matter if they are left legs or right legs - deer are bambidextrous
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Thanks, Man! That's where I left Thor's Helmet!
#SupportHeForShe
Government can give you nothing but what it takes from somebody else. A government big enough to give you everything you want is big enough to take everything you've got, including your freedom.-Ezra Taft Benson
You must accept 1 of 2 basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe or we are not alone. Either way, the implications are staggering!-Wernher von Braun
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Stupid Joke Of The Day
Are you cold?
Go sit in the corner it's 90 degrees!
Isn't that a Acute joke?
I'll get my coat and show myself out
New version: WinHeist Version 2.2.2 Beta I told my psychiatrist that I was hearing voices in my head. He said you don't have a psychiatrist!
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My reflex tells me it aint acute one.
... such stuff as dreams are made on
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Now you're just being obtuse!
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
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It was just a reflex reaction
=========================================================
I'm an optoholic - my glass is always half full of vodka.
=========================================================
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