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Apology if someone already mentioned this but...
Soda cans are designed to make the loudest noise possible when you pull the tab, in order to get the attention of others and suggest to them that it's time to get a soda for themselves.
On the other hand, you have different fingers. - Steven Wright
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Bottled soda will need some work. It is not loud enough.
TOMZ_KV
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The little red "oil" light on a car I once had.
Came on to tell me that the engine had just burnt up and was quitting.
It was right.
Arguing with a woman is like reading the Software License Agreement. In the end, you ignore everything and click "I agree".
Anonymous
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When you get to the bottom of a bacon cheeseburger, there are vegetables. 
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When the Volkswagen Beetle was designed (before WW2), every corner was cut to keep the cost down, so it could really be a "car for the people". One of the sacrifices was the fuel gauge; the driver was expected to know how far he had been driving since the last tank filling.
But not quite: The fuel tank was split in two: When you filled it up, about five liters flowed into a side tank, but normally it wouldn't flow out of there. If you ran out of fuel out on the highway, you could flip a little handle to release the side tank into the main one.
It was sort of like a separate reserve fuel tank kept in the trunk, but this one you never forgot to fill up, you avoided spilling fuel when you had to make use of it, and you never left it in the garage. Every car should adopt that solution! (or at least every car made for use outside of inhabited areas)
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My beer starts to get warm as it gets emptier so I know to go and get another one.
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What, people can no longer figure out when a box is getting close to empty that they need color-coded Kleenex???
Are people getting stupid or what??? 
Steve Naidamast
Sr. Software Engineer
Black Falcon Software, Inc.
blackfalconsoftware@outlook.com
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.NET developers think logically. You do not expect them to make any decision without evaluating a condition.
TOMZ_KV
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Hmm... I think you are correct on that point. My bad...
Steve Naidamast
Sr. Software Engineer
Black Falcon Software, Inc.
blackfalconsoftware@outlook.com
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I hope you all remembered we are approaching the 7th anniversary of the death of Leslie Nielsen.
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What! Leslie is dead already?
Why wasn't I told?
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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Nonsense, that must be fake news (again).
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KennethKennedy wrote: death of Leslie Nielsen.
I call that Fake News!
Rules for the FOSW ![ ^]
if(this.signature != "")
{
MessageBox.Show("This is my signature: " + Environment.NewLine + signature);
}
else
{
MessageBox.Show("404-Signature not found");
}
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I just want you to know, we're all counting on you.
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Oh, we are all doomed then. 
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Short balancing frequency texts you, the Roman one, far away from the same space between points (11)
Should be an easy one but I do like this one.
This space for rent
modified 9-Nov-17 4:18am.
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Short balancing frequency = eq
text you = u
roman one = I
far away = distant
same space between points = equidistant
(the points threw me for awhile but I guess that was the intention)
modified 9-Nov-17 4:59am.
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Congrats, you're up tomorrow.
This space for rent
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My home got two floors.
* 1st floor, the top one - Home
* Ground floor - Office
Both floors got independent doors. I'd have to lock the doors whenever I'm leaving a floor.
Now this is what I've been doing lately:
1. I pack all my stuff -My notebook, phone, snacks, bottles in a bag & leave my home, locking the doors & come down the stairs.
2. Reach ground floor, Keep the bags down and check my pockets for the keys to open ground floor's door.
3. I realize , I've forgotten to the pick the keys of ground floor.
4. Now I quickly run to the top floor to pick it up, then realize I left my bags down in ground floor, where I have the keys of top floor. 
In recent times I'm doing things like this more frequently. I'm 35+ now, may be the CPU is getting a bit rusted. There could be a glitch in the module that sequences the Tasks in the queue.
At times it gets so frustrating that I'd want to jump from the 1st floor , take the keys and fly back. 
Starting to think people post kid pics in their profiles because that was the last time they were cute - Jeremy Falcon.
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There must be a javascript framework for that  Or, wait, maybe not...
"I'm neither for nor against, on the contrary." John Middle
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Have your tried turning yourself off and back on again?
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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Simpler solution is to have the locks changed so both doors (on each floor) opens with the same key.
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Good security practices prevent the use of the same password for two different systems. 
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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