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This guy would probably delegate him to do it: 
Peter C.
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It was already mentioned in the comments. "Chuck Norris doesn't parse HTML. When he shows up it parses itself."
The good thing about pessimism is, that you are always either right or pleasently surprised.
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This one[^]
(First code block)
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
---
The metaphorical solid rear-end expulsions have impacted the metaphorical motorized bladed rotating air movement mechanism.
---
Do questions with multiple question marks annoy you???
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F*ckin outstanding. 
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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I know of a lot of code that could use that.
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
---
The metaphorical solid rear-end expulsions have impacted the metaphorical motorized bladed rotating air movement mechanism.
---
Do questions with multiple question marks annoy you???
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I have to admit, I started to look for the code JUST to see if I could optimize it )))
I think I have a character flaw!
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Rickrolled!
I have always wished for my computer to be as easy to use as my telephone; my wish has come true because I can no longer figure out how to use my telephone - Bjarne Stroustrup
The world is going to laugh at you anyway, might as well crack the 1st joke!
My code has no bugs, it runs exactly as it was written.
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I like the answer one below....
Quote: While it is true that asking regexes to parse arbitrary HTML is like asking Paris Hilton to write an operating system, it's sometimes appropriate to parse a limited, known set of HTML.
modified 19-Jan-21 21:04pm.
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Why is that funny? Paris's work on the Ubuntu kernel is legendary! 
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Picture/Video or it didn't happen 
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No! Please, for gawd sake NO!
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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Probably referring to the new Microsoft Paris Hilton Lens, written entirely in Microsoft new language PH#.
How do you know so much about swallows? Well, you have to know these things when you're a king, you know.
modified 31-Aug-21 21:01pm.
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Visual PH# Studio 2015 SP3 to be released with three editions: Ultimate, Professional, and Express[ly Irritating].
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PH#, it's pronounced:
Pee
Ache
Ow! I cut myself!
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If you want to read some great answers, please read the answers from Jon Skeet[^]'s profile. I didn't get much chance to get answers to my (stupid) questions from Mr. Skeet, but as much as he has answered, were some of the best answers in my questioning history. His method of answering a question is just like asking a question to your own friend.
The sh*t I complain about
It's like there ain't a cloud in the sky and it's raining out - Eminem
~! Firewall !~
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My favorite one is Shog's answer to the question about the difference between JavaScript and Java[^]:
Quote: One is essentially a toy, designed for writing small pieces of code, and traditionally used and abused by inexperienced programmers.
The other is a scripting language for web browsers.
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Alexander Yee's explanation of why processing a sorted array is faster[^] (well, in that case).
Not because it has many upvotes or even because I learned something from it (I didn't), but because it's one of those things that no one seems to know about but are very important anyway, and that answer makes it accessible to those people.
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Oh, I love that answer. Indeed, it's something kind of obscure and many people (like me) never suspected it, however it makes a tremendous impact on execution speed. And it's a very complicated issue explained in very simple words. Simply brilliant.
Sore wa ore no nindo da!
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Wow, that didn't even seem like an unreasonable question. Certainly a good way to put people off ever asking a question on SO 
How do you know so much about swallows? Well, you have to know these things when you're a king, you know.
modified 31-Aug-21 21:01pm.
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Now we need a collection from CP
First someone needs to figure out how to make non-article content her visible over the long term. CP's forum archives have been invisible to Google for as long as I can remember (probably because performance is(was?) appalling); and I've never seen a QA when I Google something.
Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, waging all things in the balance of reason?
Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful?
--Zachris Topelius
Training a telescope on one’s own belly button will only reveal lint. You like that? You go right on staring at it. I prefer looking at galaxies.
-- Sarah Hoyt
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I wish to answer by similar way to classic C "How to convert hex to binary" question.
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A bloke at work is organising this as a 'team-building' exercise. I put my name down for as it sounded cool and I like football. It's only now I've researched it, I realise exactly what it is. I don't think my Football skills are going to come in handy[^].
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Is there a doctor in the house!?
Yeah, looks like fun. I have hear that cliff diving is fun too. I don't cliff dive for many, many reasons. 
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It looks like a kindergarten version of American football, itself a kindergarten version of good old-fashioned rugby.
I understand workplace zero-tolerance policies for violence, but this is ridiculous!
If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack.
--Winston Churchill
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Looks like a get a bunch of people drunk and make them do silly sh*t game!
New version: WinHeist Version 2.1.0
My goal in life is to have a psychiatric disorder named after me.
I'm currently unsupervised, I know it freaks me out too but the possibilities are endless.
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