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It's hard for me to bring this up but.....me and the missus haven't been getting on for a long time now. We hardly ever talk to each other, unless we have to, and even then it ends in snidey remarks and put-downs. I can trace the troubles back to when she started to go out clubbing at the weekends with one of her girlfriends, that's basically when the sex stopped.
What started out as the odd night out with the girls has turned into going out every Friday and Saturday while I sit at home with the kids. Sometimes she comes home 3-4 am the latest has been 11am the next day, and on occasion I have heard the sound of a Motor Car drive of as she has come in the door.
This weekend I thought enough was enough and I waited outside in the drive for her from 3am. Sure enough at 4 a car I had never seen before pulled up a little down the street in order to be inconspicuous. I could make out two figures in the car, one of which was definitely my wife, the driver I couldn't see from the position I was in. I decided to get a closer look, so using our car as cover I crawled down the driveway as slowly as I could untill I was at the very front of our car peering around it trying to get a look at the car up the Street....and that's when my heart sunk....I noticed the front bumper of our car was hanging off on one side.
So what would you do guys? Buy another Bumper or try and attach the old one with a shoe-lace or something?
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You don't want to replace it unless it is completely U/S. A Jubilee clip and a big bolt - you can't tie it on it wouldn't be secure and could hurt someone.
You could paint the jubilee clip to match if you are thinking of selling the vehicle.
And don't forget to give the wife a kiss for bringing it to your attention! 
If you get an email telling you that you can catch Swine Flu from tinned pork then just delete it. It's Spam.
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I've found, over the decades I've been experiencing life, that shoelaces are unreliable, but duct tape can usually be relied upon to get the job done. It won't last forever, of course, and may have to be replaced after a season or two, but I don't think it will disappoint you. Good luck!
Will Rogers never met me.
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This is old . I remember reading it somewhere a long time ago . But its still funny.
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This happened to me once. I tied it back on with a telephone cable... what's the technical term... cat3?
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Ok, I have to be honest, it wasn't the bumper, but the muffler... and no, it didn't work and wasn't attached to the system, but you have to have one on the car to be legal.
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I hate to tell you this, but the problem is not really the bumper. You have a serious problem with your wife's behaviour. It is obvious that a guy could never let that happen to the car so it must be down to her carelessness. I'd sit her down and have a serious talk about how she's looking after the car.
Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done.
Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H
OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre
I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer
Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett
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Just leave it -- but remember to replace the light bulbs before the MOT.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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You should try bumper off. 
It was broke, so I fixed it.
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Duct tape.
I'll send you an old "McCain / Palin" bumper sticker to cover it.
Government is not reason; it is not eloquent; it is force. Like fire, it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master. ~ George Washington
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You're completely missing the big picture here. There's obviously something broken in your relationship and once it's broken, and you've noticed that there's a problem, you'll never have that level of trust again. So, it's time for a new car - I'd go for a much younger model, make sure it's faster as well. Don't forget, the big end may also have gone on your current model.
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