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Slurp, miam miam miam, crunch, slurp..
Ho you are here? Sorry!
Slurp, miam miam miam, crunch, slurp..
MMm.....
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You forgot the belching! He does that too! 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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Sorry, my bad! 
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I guess I should be happy that he doesn't fart as well??? 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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The audible ones are harmless ...
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I think not.
Well, if your colleague accidentally scratched his ring on his table and the sound that had been created really irritated you, then I can say you are really sensitive.
Well for me, that screeching sound is irritating. 
Don't mind those people who say you're not HOT. At least you know you're COOL.
I'm not afraid of falling, I'm afraid of the sudden stop at the end of the fall! - Richard Andrew x64
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We're sitting 8 people in an open office, but normally it doesn't bother me that much. There are, however, a few sounds that piss me off. Like this breakfast show a couple of days a week, and the fact that one of my other collegues insists on having a notification signal (not just a signal, but the most irritating signal one can imagine!) on his phone every time he receives a text message (which he does quite a lot).
I have on multiple occasions asked him to turn it off and said that I find it really irritating, but he doesn't seem to care. I guess it's VERY important to read the text messages the very second they arrive (could be that he has a dominating GF, but I don't know her, so I can't tell for sure  )
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
-----
I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
modified 25-Apr-14 1:48am.
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that is quite disturbing. Isn't it prohibited? I know it's some kind of a company rule that you have to put your phone to silent mode when you are at the office.
I have this colleague whose ringing tone was the "Do you wanna build a snowman" song from Frozen.
Every time I hear that song, I know it's her phone.
Don't mind those people who say you're not HOT. At least you know you're COOL.
I'm not afraid of falling, I'm afraid of the sudden stop at the end of the fall! - Richard Andrew x64
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We don't have a policy about that, unfortunately... 
kArViD0tnEt wrote: "Do you wanna build a snowman"
That would DEFINITELY drive me mad as well... 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
-----
I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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I'm immune to the song.
Having little sister who loves Frozen, she always want to watch it with me ( and probably watched it for so many times).
What bothers me is when out of nowhere, I'll just say:
"Hi, I'm Olaf and I like warm hugs!"
"...all good things, all good things..."
"Why isn't she knocking? Isn't she knows how to knock?"
Don't mind those people who say you're not HOT. At least you know you're COOL.
I'm not afraid of falling, I'm afraid of the sudden stop at the end of the fall! - Richard Andrew x64
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Johnny J. wrote: one of my other collegues insists on having a notification signal (not just a signal, but the most irritating signal one can imagine!) on his phone every time he receives a text message (which he does quite a lot).
I have on multiple occasions asked him to turn it off and said that I find it really irritating, but he doesn't seem to care. I guess it's VERY important to read the text messages the very second they arrive (could be that he has a dominating GF, but I don't know her, so I can't tell for sure  )
Every time the alert sounds say in a loud voice, [colleague's name] your GF is calling you. 
He will probably get annoyed and if he says something tell him to put the phone on vibrate if he doesn't want everyone to know he is henpecked.
The report of my death was an exaggeration - Mark Twain
Simply Elegant Designs JimmyRopes Designs
I'm on-line therefore I am.
JimmyRopes
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I don't think it'll work, as mentioned, I have already asked him on several occasions to turn it off, but I think it's pissing him off that I point it out and leave it on on purpose... 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
-----
I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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Johnny J. wrote: I don't think it'll work, as mentioned, I have already asked him on several occasions to turn it off, but I think it's pissing him off that I point it out and leave it on on purpose...
That is why you should escalate this from a private request to a public shaming.
Just say it loud so everyone can hear. After a while he may realize that the whole office is laughing at him and turn the phone to vibrate.
Then again he may not but at least you get to take the piss on him.
The report of my death was an exaggeration - Mark Twain
Simply Elegant Designs JimmyRopes Designs
I'm on-line therefore I am.
JimmyRopes
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I solved that in our office by texting the person concerned - one word per message.
turn
your
f***ing
beeping
off
it worked.
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kArViD0tnEt wrote: if your colleague accidentally scratched his ring on his table
 I had visions of you know, like a dog with worms scratching its ring on the ground
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I won't visualize it.
No.
No..
No...
No Karen!
DaveAuld wrote: I had visions
so, you're a prophet?
Don't mind those people who say you're not HOT. At least you know you're COOL.
I'm not afraid of falling, I'm afraid of the sudden stop at the end of the fall! - Richard Andrew x64
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kArViD0tnEt wrote: so, you're a prophet?
Been called a lot worse 
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that was scary..
Don't mind those people who say you're not HOT. At least you know you're COOL.
I'm not afraid of falling, I'm afraid of the sudden stop at the end of the fall! - Richard Andrew x64
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Just start singing in a loud manner and different accent.
If he then moans say sure no problem, but can you also stop eating like a cow in field
Every day, thousands of innocent plants are killed by vegetarians.
Help end the violence EAT BACON
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Good idea - my singing voice is sure to annoy him! 
[EDIT] Hey, maybe I should sing your song[^], that would probably be irritating enough for him... [/EDIT]
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
-----
The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
-----
I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
modified 25-Apr-14 2:28am.
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I usualy listen to music while working, so I don't even hear if someone makes annoying noises.
But I must constantly look out if the boss comes into the room and starts speaking to me 
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A panic button to hide the pr0n surfing works for me...
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
-----
The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
-----
I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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8 people in an open plan office, 1 git munching on breakfast, you're a pussy!
I have 300 on this floor, all on benches, most of them are Asian (locals and Indian) and some their food is extraordinarily aromatic, try sticky rice that smells of three week dead dog.
I have a bunch of them on a near bench who have a habit of discussing something in high pitched mandarin that not only frustrates me but the sound just grates the nerves, something like a nail on a chalk board.
1 silly prick annoying me I could live with or tell him to sod of to the kitchen, try working with a horde of the bastards.
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity
RAH
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Mycroft Holmes wrote: their food is extraordinarily aromatic, try sticky rice that smells of three week dead dog.
Sounds like what was served up last night.
The report of my death was an exaggeration - Mark Twain
Simply Elegant Designs JimmyRopes Designs
I'm on-line therefore I am.
JimmyRopes
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