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I noticed that actually being funny was not a part of your requirements. That is good, I am sure that many programmers here can write an algorithm to determine that their joke differs from others by >= 66% in wording. But, I doubt many can write an algorithm to determine how funny a joke is.  
Just because the code works, it doesn't mean that it is good code.
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prove it 
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What I said was original, but not really funny.
Being original and funny is hard.
Just because the code works, it doesn't mean that it is good code.
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I'd enter your competition, but I need to nip down to the paper shop.
It's a bit windy, so I need to put a brick on it.
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Scissors.
Scissors cuts paper... I win 
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Bob received a parrot for his birthday. The parrot was fully grown, with a very bad attitude and worse vocabulary.
Every other word was an expletive; those that weren't expletives were, to say the least, rude.
Bob tried to change the bird's attitude by constantly saying polite words, playing soft music...anything he could think of.
Nothing worked. He yelled at the bird, and the bird got worse.
He shook the bird, and the bird got madder and more rude. Finally, in a moment of desperation, Bob put the parrot in the freezer.
For a few moments he heard the bird swearing, squawking, kicking and screaming and then, suddenly, there was absolute quiet.
Bob was frightened that he might have actually hurt the bird, and quickly opened the freezer door.
The parrot calmly stepped out onto Bob's extended arm and said,
"I'm sorry that I offended you with my language and my actions, and I ask your forgiveness. I will endeavor to correct my behavior".
Bob was astounded at the changes in the bird's attitude and was about to ask what had changed him,
when the parrot continued,
"May I ask what the Chicken did?"
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Ironic, when you consider a Parrot's reputation for repetition.
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Don't get me started, I'd have to cut you in slices to keep you in the freezer.
~RaGE();
I think words like 'destiny' are a way of trying to find order where none exists. - Christian Graus
Entropy isn't what it used to.
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You also need a bigger freezer.
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I can roll the slices.
Mmmmhh, burrito !
~RaGE();
I think words like 'destiny' are a way of trying to find order where none exists. - Christian Graus
Entropy isn't what it used to.
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This is a little known fact, but I believe I popularized the JOTD acronym on CP (many years ago). I may not have been the first to use it, but I institutionalized it into the Lounge culture. Sadly no one else has credited me so far - bastards!
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I thought it's Johnny.
Don't mind those people who say you're not HOT. At least you know you're COOL.
I'm not afraid of falling, I'm afraid of the sudden stop at the end of the fall! - Richard Andrew x64
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What's really scary is how much time we spend noting that it's a repost... did you have this saved?
Charlie Gilley
<italic>Stuck in a dysfunctional matrix from which I must escape...
"Where liberty dwells, there is my country." B. Franklin, 1783
“They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” BF, 1759
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No, but search works a lot better now and can actually get the old posts!
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I've just received my 4th or 5th Windows Phone. I do like them.
Except for the Date and Time -> Set Automatically, which it does but never to the correct time, usually 2-3 mins out. So as per usual I've had to turn this off and set it manually every couple of weeks.
Has anyone else had this problem?
Regards,
Rob Philpott.
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How do you know it is the phone that is wrong?
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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I compare it with the time on my PC which also is exactly the same as the that on Sky News on the TV above me. The discrepancy holds when I compare the time on my phone to that in the Railway station.
I think its the phone, but I guess it could be a conspiracy.
Regards,
Rob Philpott.
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Rob Philpott wrote: is exactly the same as the that on Sky News
Well, there's your problem! 
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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I had a windows phone and I also experienced the time issue.
My phone was always 30 minutes out. I would change the time from a reliable source and before the day was out it would slip back to being 30 minutes out. In the end I was so used to it being that far out I just left it.
Every day, thousands of innocent plants are killed by vegetarians.
Help end the violence EAT BACON
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4/5 at the same time - your really have to like them!!!
I'm not questioning your powers of observation; I'm merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a masked man who he is. (V)
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No, no, not at the same time. One after another. My last one was the Lumia 1020 with 41megapixel camera. That was a thing of beauty but I left in a pub by the dartboard and never saw it again.
New one is the 1520 which is just huge. And beautiful.
Regards,
Rob Philpott.
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Rob Philpott wrote: thing of beauty but ... left in a pub ... never saw it again
Are you surprised?!
Rob Philpott wrote: 1520
6 inches screen! It's larger than my vegetable cutting board...
I'm not questioning your powers of observation; I'm merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a masked man who he is. (V)
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Kornfeld Eliyahu Peter wrote: 6 inches screen! It's larger than my vegetable cutting board...
It's larger than my....
...vegetable.
But it is an onion.
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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