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Being grossed out is not the same as being scared. And simple holes in a strawberry are hardly gross.
Bastard Programmer from Hell 
If you can't read my code, try converting it here[^]
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This doesn't bother me, what does bother me are Mangoworms (youtube at your own risk) and that's more to do with the distress that's being caused to the (usually) dog. 
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AAAAAAAAAAAHHH. Go. Away.
Not that I freak out, but that stuff gives me a bad feeling.
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I think you are hole-y off your rocker. 
Marc
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And apparently so is this data 
var _data = null; Just found this piece in some JavaScript.
I deleted the comment and the variable as it was unused 
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Only unused JavaScript is good JavaScript 
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't. — Lyall Watson
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Got in this morning, two support calls waiting.
1 - Something didn't work yesterday and we didn't get an email. Why not???!!!
A brief investigation, using tools that the person raising the call has, it didn't fail, of course it didn't, send them the evidence.
2 - Can you monitor the output of a system, we've been told something isn't working and we don't believe it.
Set up monitoring, watch what they do, it all works perfectly. Of course it did, because they didn't do the thing that they had been told wasn't working properly.
And now the bit about Wales.
A couple of weeks ago I was pissed off, couldn't be bothered coming and sitting in this madhouse doing nothing again (I'm two months into my three months notice as regular readers may recall), so when I got to work I just kept going, set my satnav for Wales (ignoring motorways) and followed it blindly for a couple of hours. Drove through some lovely scenery, got to the border, took a selfie with the Welcome to Powys sign, and started back towards work. Half way back got an email from my boss asking where I was, so that at least answered the question I had about would anyone even notice if I just didn't turn up.
Wish I'd kept going today too, maybe tried going for a look at Scotland, even more impressive scenery on the way there.
Tick follows tock follows tick follows tock... And not even a Guinness at the end of it.
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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Well I hope you sent him a copy of the selfie!
I hope it had "Croeso i Bowys" on it as well...
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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It was this sign[^], look at all those lovely sheep.
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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If I recall correctly there is a "beers and bikers" festival in that field every summer - I don't know if they move the sheep off the field first.
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I absolutely loathe it when I'm asked by a non-tekkie, to carry out a bit of coding in such way, am I alone?
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Then tell the wuckfod how to do his job. I had a BA at a previous job who loved to tell us how something would be implemented, I think in 7 years he never got it right.
veni bibi saltavi
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Nagy Vilmos wrote: I had a BA at a previous job who loved to tell us how something would be implemented
Don't we all.
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I believe he was complaining about the phrase in the subject, not being told how to do the work.
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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Would you prefer it for someone to give you a request then say "Now go do that voodoo that you do so well!"?
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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The requirement should always be a business case and the Voodoo left up to the tech-heads.
veni bibi saltavi
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Nagy Vilmos wrote: and the Voodoo left up to the tech-heads
Damn right - they were terrible cards.[^]
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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Yes. As long as the normals see what we do as magic, we are superior to them.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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As Clarke said: "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic".
Woo ho! I'm a Computer Wizard!
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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OriginalGriff wrote: I'm a Computer Wizard!
The politically-correct term is Technomage[^]. 
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
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In particular, when he justifies it saying it would increase the performance. 
Starting to think people post kid pics in their profiles because that was the last time they were cute - Jeremy.
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Apply 5 whys as to why they want to constrain your design capability (i.e. act like a kid and say why until they leave you alone)
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At least they know you have to do something that is beyond their realm of understanding.
I am finding myself in meetings where someone keeps talking about 'integrations' and 'I want to automate everything' when they have not written one line of code in their lives.
I had to explain in a meeting that while 'integration' is one word, there is a whole level of complexity required in order for the 'integration' to work.
“That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”
― Christopher Hitchens
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The level of complexity increases by a factor of 5 for every subsystem integrated into the new monolithic system. "They" typically have no clue as to what they're asking for, and assume that it should only get easier with every additional subsystem.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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Very well put!
I think that does probably describe the thinking behind this.
In an recent 'integration' which was a case of Extract Transform Load - the head of IT was surprised by what was required stating "why can't we just integrate the two systems" - after speaking to a colleague we worked out that he meant "Why can't I take system A developed by company Aardvark and click on a menu point to connect all of the data to system B designed by company Zebra?"
It's shocking how the marketing mob have moved in to IT, or rather how so many(non-technical people) in IT have been 'educated' by the marketing mob.
“That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”
― Christopher Hitchens
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