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if (Rocket.Gremlin != null)
{
Rocket.Gremlin.MessWithPlugsUntilItBreaks(GremlinMischeifLevel.Extreme);
}
if (Object.DividedByZero == true) { Universe.Implode(); }
Meus ratio ex fortis machina. Simplicitatis de formae ac munus. -Foothill, 2016
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C# code can't cause this due to the automatic Gremlin-collector.
Must be some all-purpose symbolic instruction code 
Bastard Programmer from Hell 
If you can't read my code, try converting it here[^]
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They forgot to implement an exception handler.
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Please don't call it an "explosion". We prefer the term "surprise".
The "surprise" occurs at 1:10.
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Who is 'we'? Just asking because I once also belonged to a team thet sent a few rockets on their way and had to deal with malfunctions (as well as saying "Sorry, my fault!" in Russian),
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
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It's actually a joke I took from SNL.
When the reactor accident happened at Three Mile Island in 1979, SNL joked that we are not calling it an "accident", we prefer to call it a "surprise".
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Foothill wrote: It's a tragedy
Since it blocks Zuckerbergs expansion, it is nowhere near a tragedy.
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There was a US$200 Million satellite sitting on top of this whilst they fiddled for the planned weekend launch. I wonder who's going to suck up that cost.
I also heard the satellite manufacturer was going to be bought by the Chinese, but their was a contingency in the deal about getting this satellite into orbit.
Do you really believe it to be an accident, my conspiracy-theory droogies[^]? A way for one side or the other to cancel the deal? A sudden opportunity for a third party? Too much fruit in the yogurt?
| Ravings en masse^ |
|---|
| "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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Is an Australian groper by an outdoor charcoal grill a sheila feeler . . . or a Barbie bumper?
[modified]
I'm beginning to think there's something wrong with me.
I'm also beginning to think that I like it.
Never mind.
[/modified]
| Ravings en masse^ |
|---|
| "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
modified 1-Sep-16 14:39pm.
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W∴ Balboos wrote: I'm beginning to think there's something wrong with me.
I'm also beginning to think that I like it.
Embrace the madness.
Would be the only normal reaction.
Bastard Programmer from Hell
If you can't read my code, try converting it here[^]
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Eddy Vluggen wrote: the only normal reaction.
But if I have a normal reaction, what of my madness?
But since it's the only normal reaction, and I'm mad, I wouldn't embrace it.
Perhaps - on observation of the world - I should merely express it as "Accepting the Honor"
| Ravings en masse^ |
|---|
| "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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If you make eye contact with a lady, have you cauterise?
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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If she is hot enough!
... such stuff as dreams are made on
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 The joke doesn't really work without your part.
There are only 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.
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That's a dame good crack remark.
| Ravings en masse^ |
|---|
| "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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I've been burned by that before!
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That lady over there? I don't think I ever metaphor.
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Trials of Hitman Go[^] aren't going as well as hoped...
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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I'm getting ready to release my new Pokemon character, the Zikachu.
Zikachu looks a lot like a huge mosquito, by the way.
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I just needed to edit a video, and since I've got an older licensed version of Pinnacle Studio I know can do this, and furthermore like to work with, I wanted to reinstall that.
No problem, installed software, registered it. It said: You're gonna get an activation email shortly. Nope! Tried three times. Nope!
So I started a chat with Pinnacle/Corels support. First thing he says is of course: You need to upgrade to the latest version. Don't wanna, I said. I've got a version I'm happy with, does what I want, need nothing more.
But he claimed that their system can't generate activation codes for older software and that in order to use the program I had already paid for once (twice actually, but that's another story), I HAD to upgrade it. Elephanting blackmail!!! And then it went:
Me: Well, if I HAVE to upgrade to a version I don't need, I want extra discount on the list price
Him: I can offer you 10%
Me: I want 20%
Him: To give you 20%, I have to ask a Sales representative to contact you
Me: (Something like) F*** that, I can't waste a lot of time on that. Just give me the 10%
Him: OK, give me your phone number, we'll call you right back
Me: Why? Just send me a mail with a discount code...
Him: "We can only send shopping cart email through phone as we have a different system for Roxio & Pinnacle." (completely nonsense answer of course)
Me: OK, waste my time and call me
After some time, a lady calls me from Singapore to Sweden and wants to offer me the discount. So it turned out that to get the 10% he offered me, I ALSO had to speak with their friggin' sales department. If he had told me that right away, that would have been the end of it right there.
Then she wanted to take my address, which is in Swedish, so I knew she wouldn't understand it, which she didn't, of course.
Then she asked me: How do you want to pay?
Me: Mastercard
Her: OK, go ahead, I'm ready when you are...
Me: For WHAT? You don't seriously think I'm going to give you my card number over the phone?
Her: Uh, why not? It'll be a secure transaction
You get the drift. To finish off: It was no sale, and both I and two of their staff had wasted a FULL HOUR! Plus a call halfway across the world. For nothing! And I'm stuck with an expensive (yet old) piece of software I can't use because I can't activate it!
Why the elephant didn't they just send a coupon code? Their system can handle that, I can see that in their webshop. They would have had the sale in 5 minutes, I would have had my discount, and everybloody would had been happy! 
First time I have been thoroughly elephanted over the phone! Good thing to know that she was using protection (alledgedly) 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
-
The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
modified 1-Sep-16 12:13pm.
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This is Corel. They are not in the business of pleasing users.
P*ss*ng them off big time: yes.
Adding bugs and useless features to hide the good bits you used to use: yes.
Not being able to work a "Do not show this message again" box that remembers that you ticked it: yes.
Pleasing the customer: no chance.
I have Corel VideoStudio X6 and they've been badgering me to upgrade for a couple of weeks - every time I open PaintShop Pro. 
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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I wouldn't have bothered if it wasn't because:
1) I actually like the program
2) It's not a "Corel" programming example of a completely unusable UI like their own programs
3) It goes with a Pinnacle capture board that I also need to use in this case
So I think I'll bite the rotten apple and upgrade the program all the same. But I'll pay full list price. I'll be darned if I leak my credit card information all over Asia by giving them by phone to a stupid eh, runt in Singapore just to save $15!
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
-
The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
-
I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
modified 1-Sep-16 12:37pm.
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Oh, it will. It will ...
They "Corelized" PaintShop Pro when they bought JASC, and turned it from "better than Photoshop for most users" to a slower, less obvious, more buggy app that costs more. They seem to think this "improves" the product.
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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I still prefer Paintshop Pro. It's attraction has always been that it is more userfriendly than Photoshop. But even though Corel works hard at destroying that by adding too much unnecessary complexity, I still think that it's slightly better... Just a matter of time probably as you say... 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
-
The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
-
I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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I hung on to PSP V9 for soooo long, but it really didn't play nicely with Aero, so I had to "upgrade" to X6 eventually (I'm now on X8, and X9.5 of Video Studio) and it's definitely a Corel product. But you can minimize the pain by running it from an SSD... 
I think my favorite X8 bug is dropping JPG's on to it (so I can crop them for Herself's Jigsaw Puzzle app on her tablet) and when you try to save changes it won't bring up the Save dialog unless you try to click away from the application...
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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