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Just back from a birthday party of a mutual (long term) friend where I went with AnnA. Only Rilke comes close: "Schönheit ist der Anfang von Schrecklichem" - "Beauty is the beginning of terror"
She scaled down her still-current bf to "some days off relationship", and keeps these two sides (us and our mutual friends, and him, as separate as possible). She's ok with the situation as is. She decided that for the time being relationship means to her "spending some good time", no more.
She's mortally afraid of people clinging to much to her. She says she enjoys the time with me, but she does not love me. She says that she hurt, and turned away from, to many people in her life, and she doesn't want this to happen between us, so she keeps the "final distance". (So I end up not being f***ed because she likes me more than those she does. What as beast - what can you say against that?)
What makes it worse is that I perfectly know where all this comes from, what made her be this way.
The time I spend with her makes me both happy and sad. If I were only happy, thins could remain the way they are. If I were only sad, it would be easy to just go away.
we are here to help each other get through this thing, whatever it is Vonnegut jr.
sighist || Agile Programming | doxygen
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>If I were only happy, thins could remain the way they are. If I were only sad, it would be easy to just go away.
So true friend, so true. The unsurity of it, the off and on nature, the unknown, the vascilating infuriation of it!
Yes or no, not maybe.
Stop playing with me whether you mean to or not. Look at me now and decide, then stick to it.
I think of an altered situation where she was malicious and I almost wish it were true so that I could be angry at her and not just sad, confused and frustrated.
regards,
Paul Watson
Bluegrass
South Africa
Ian Darling wrote:
"and our loonies usually end up doing things like Monty Python."
Crikey! ain't life grand?
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