The Soapbox
The Soapbox allows you to stand up and have a rant, tell a bad joke, complain about someone or post stuff that that may not be appropriate for reading at work and/or isn't strictly IT industry related. It is rated M. Do not post anything offensive or which breaches the Terms of Use. Do not post programming questions (use the programming forums for that) and please don't post ads.
The SoapBox is not for flame wars, personal vendettas, or endless debate about climate change, religion and US politics. Anything inappropriate for this forum will be deleted immediately.
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No, not forced at all.
Look at me still talking when there's science to do
When I look out there it makes me glad I'm not you
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A group of psychiatrists were attending a convention. Four of them decided to leave, and walked out together. One said to the other three, "People are always coming to us with their guilt and fears, but we have no one that we can go to when we have problems." The others agreed.
Then one said, "Since we are all professionals, why don't we take some time right now to hear each other out?"
The other three agreed.
The first then confessed, "I have an uncontrollable desire to kill my patients."
The second psychiatrist said, "I love expensive things and so I find ways to cheat my patients out of their money whenever I can so I can buy the things I want."
The third followed with, "I'm involved with selling drugs and often get my patients to sell them for me."
The fourth psychiatrist then confessed, "I know I'm not supposed to, but no matter how hard I try, I can't keep a secret..."
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Repost, retelling, generally overtold old joke. Whatever you want to call it. I'll withold voting either way.
There is one way to be sure a joke hasn't been posted, write it yourself.
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Translated from Greek...
Discussion between two women:
"My boyfriend left me because he says I have small breasts"
"And how did you react to that?"
"I told him they where a matched set with his penis"
I apologise if this is Le Repost and Leslie Nielsen just died.
Alberto Bar-Noy
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“The city’s central computer told you? R2D2, you know better than to trust a strange computer!”
(C3PO)
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It was probably funnier in Greek... 
Why can't I be applicable like John? - Me, April 2011
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Beidh ceol, caint agus craic againn - Seán Bán Breathnach
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Da mihi sis crustum Etruscum cum omnibus in eo!
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Just because a thing is new don’t mean that it’s better - Will Rogers, September 4, 1932
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It actually was... Oh well I warned it may be a groaner
Alberto Bar-Noy
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“The city’s central computer told you? R2D2, you know better than to trust a strange computer!”
(C3PO)
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It did lose a little but we get the gist of it.
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Alberto Bar-Noy wrote: A groaner maybe
Got a little bit off on the punchline, but it was not bad. The votes tell it clearly. 
Signature construction in progress. Sorry for the inconvenience.
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One day a boy asks his dad,"What's the difference between a pussy and a c***?" Dad thought for a minute and said, "Come with me." He took his son to his mother's bedroom, where shewas sleeping nude. "Son," he whispered, "see thatbrown soft furry patch? That is a pussy." The boy asked, "May I touch it to see how soft andfurry it is?" "No!" replied his father. "That might wake up the c***."
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Two poor guys, one in a wheelchair and one with a huge hunchback meet once a week to drink in a bar until they forget about their fate.
At midnight the hunchback guy stands up saying that he has to leave because it is already quite late.
He leaves the bar and decides to take the shortcut home that passes by a little forest.
When he reaches the forest he suddenly starts to hear a whispering:
voice: Hey you...
guy: yes?
voice: Hey you...
guy: Yes, who is this?
voice: Hey you... you got a hunchback?
guy: Yes, whats up with it?
ZAPPP!!!
His hunchback magically disappears. The guy is straightening up the first time in 20 years, breathes in deeply and exitingly runs back to the bar to tell his story.
The wheelchair guy is astonished and decides to roll there to see for himself.
When he approaches the little forest he suddenly starts to hear the whispering voice too...
voice: Hey you...
guy: Yes?
voice: Hey you...
guy: Yes, I hear you, who are you?
voice: Hey you... you got a hunchback?
guy: ...ehhmm... sorry, no, I don't have a hunchback...
ZAPPP!!!
voice: Here you got one.
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