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I fired a couple of puns at five people I know to try to get them to laugh.
Unfortunately they weren't very funny.
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So you're saying no pun in ten did?
Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, waging all things in the balance of reason?
Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful?
--Zachris Topelius
Training a telescope on one’s own belly button will only reveal lint. You like that? You go right on staring at it. I prefer looking at galaxies.
-- Sarah Hoyt
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I will start to give pun ten did puntastical words to pun around with from tommorrow
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Feh, that was only two-thirds of a pun: p.u.
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Some mathematicians are reluctant to cosine a correct answer to that. Just don't make too many infractions upon deciding on a point. It will always add up. Or do you want me to sum it up for you? Just do not let this divide us for derivative reasons. Odd that even though we agree there is so much work to do, even though i am not irrational. Just wash your hands when you raise them in dispute as they are fifthly! On second thought lets just drop the whole problem.
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Two brothers decided to go into beef production, and went in 50-50 to buy a ranch. They could not find a name they both liked, so they asked their father for his thoughts.
"Why not name it Focus Ranch?" was Dad's suggestion.
"Umm... Focus? Why Focus?"
"Because it's where the sons raise meat."
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I will not meat you half way in that pun. It was raw and uncooked, left a bad taste in my mouth, but well done on a effort worth butchering for. I slaughter not tell you of this because it will attract heat and i am not ready to be skinned alive for only trying to burn rubber. So shall we bleed it out or just drive around the ranch a bit?
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Nice! I hadn't herd that before.
/ravi
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A pommel horse walks into a parallel bar.
The barman says "is this a joke about gymnastics?"
The horse beams.
“I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.” Bill Hicks
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I think we're trying too hard in this thread, we should just have vacation at Punta Cana.
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Let snot.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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I think Leslie Nielsen[^] did it first!
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I'm an optoholic - my glass is always half full of vodka.
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Damn, need to change the message editor so it parses posts with in the last week to see if a link has been used and if so enclose with Leslie Nielson
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There are obvious quality control issues as he got the thing upside down!
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I bet he is not looking forward to the cold-and-flu season. 
I heard about this on the radio this morning and when I fired up the Search on my WP8, I only had to enter "man gr" and the first entry in the drop-down suggestion list was "man grows nose on forehead". 
Soren Madsen
"When you don't know what you're doing it's best to do it quickly" - Jase #DuckDynasty
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Call me a Grump but the UK didn't really take much notice of Halloween to until ET came out, now people my age are parents hmmm. Yet more evidence of creeping US culture.
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I agree.
But.
It started off over here, then moved to the US and died out here some time ago before creeping back with the influx of US film and TV in more recent years.
It's basically just begging.
“I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.” Bill Hicks
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Begging with menace and you don't event get a Big Issue out of it 
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"Demanding money with menaces" is the legal term, I think.
We don't get many here (just the neighbor's kid, and at 11 or 12 now I think he will think it a bit too childish for him) but we did in the previous house. I used to keet a dozen eggs in the cupboard all year, just waiting for them to come round...:EvilLaughSmiley:
The only instant messaging I do involves my middle finger.
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No, we don't get many either, just a few young kids in groups or with their parents who are always very polite.
I normally give them fruit. They're too polite not to say thank you for it.
“I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.” Bill Hicks
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ChrisElston wrote: They're too polite not to say thank you for it.
I think that part is the UK contribution.
Windows 8 is the resurrected version of Microsoft Bob. The only thing missing is the Fisher-Price logo.
- Harvey
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Yep. And they can have Valentine's Day as well which in Oz is apparently now the busiest day for florists.
Not against the festivals per se but the commercialism.
Peter Wasser
Art is making something out of nothing and selling it.
Frank Zappa
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Blame Chaucer.
The problem I have with Valentine's Day is that it is about lovers...
Us married folk should be exempt.
“I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.” Bill Hicks
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