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1. Skippy heartbeat when you think of him/her.
Symptoms then: Love.
Prognosis now: Ventricular fibrillation and Myocardial Infarction.
2. Restless trembling of hands, feet and other body parts.
Symptoms then: Love.
Prognosis now: Parkinson's Disease.
3. Constant smiling.
Symptoms then: Love.
Prognosis now: Bell's Palsy.
4. Absent mindedness, inability to focus on tasks at work or at home.
Symptoms then: Love.
Prognosis now: Early Onset of Alzheimer's Disease.
5. Weakening of knees and bursts of energy when she calls or comes over.
Symptoms then: Love.
Prognosis now: Multiple Sclerosis.
6. Inability to stop thinking about her.
Symptoms then: Love.
Prognosis now: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
7. Bruising on neck, and other tender areas.
Symptoms then: Love.
Prognosis now: Leukemia.
8. Insomnia.
Symptoms then: Love.
Prognosis now: Benign Prostatic Hyperplasia.
9. Feeling that you can smell/hear/feel her when not in her presence.
Symptoms then: Love.
Prognosis now: Schizophrenia!
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Now: WebMD says it's cancer.
Alberto Brandolini: The amount of energy necessary to refute bullshit is an order of magnitude bigger than to produce it.
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As most of us here tend toward pedantry and the precise use of language, I thought I'd ask the following:
If you are looking to make a purchase, and expect to pay (approximately) a certain amount, and a vendor claims that they can "exceed all your expectations" -- wouldn't you at least ask for clarification that their price won't exceed your expectation?
(
This is prompted by an internal corporate survey I answered yesterday.
"meet or exceed our customers’ service expectations and our partners’ cost expectations"
)
modified 15-Aug-14 18:58pm.
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No, because exceeding my expectation of a price would mean offering the item at a lower price, while exceeding my expectation of quality would mean offering a product of higher quality.
/ravi
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Excellent answer. Although all this is mostly theoretical because it's very rare that any sales pitch matches the service/product 
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It could also exceed expectations in the opposite direction. If you expect the difference between sales patch to product to be a ratio of 1:1 or even 2:1 (pitch to product), they could deliver you a really low quality product - way lower than you intended it to be to tune of 100:1 or 1:.01 depending on how you look at it.
That would still exceed expectations in the opposite direction while also ensuring your statement holds true as well. Thus, problem solved!
Jeremy Falcon
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So young. So cynical.
cheers
Chris Maunder
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I expect dinner to be ready when I come home from work.
A bold claim from a vendor to also exceed that expectation!
I wouldn't even know how to exceed it... Would that mean dinner would be ready earlier? In that case I'd come home to a cold dinner. Would the dinner come to me? Then I'd have to eat it on my bike on the way home.
I guess some expectations just can't be exceeded 
It's an OO world.
public class SanderRossel : Lazy<Person>
{
public void DoWork()
{
throw new NotSupportedException();
}
}
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Context is important. Your dinner is not likely to be in context for the vendor. (Though it could be a pizza shop.) Similarly, having dinner served by the Swedish Bikini Team is not in scope. 
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I guess I could say the same for the price expectation. When a vendor makes such claims we think about design or usability of a product. When talking about prices vendors are usually quite explicit, like "Guaranteed lowest price!"
But the vendor did say ALL my expectations (this was about linguistic ambiguity, right?) 
Yeah, I want pizza served by the Swedish Bikini Team at the lowest price when I get home from work! 
It's an OO world.
public class SanderRossel : Lazy<Person>
{
public void DoWork()
{
throw new NotSupportedException();
}
}
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Sander Rossel wrote: "Guaranteed lowest price!"
* Cooking charge extra. Sauce charge extra. Cheese charge extra. ...
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Let me just book that flight!
---------------------------------
Obscurum per obscurius.
Ad astra per alas porci.
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur .
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Oh man, my friend and I just drove past that town last weekend... And I've been gradually turning him into a Whovian... If only I knew...
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Who? 
There are only 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.
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Who's on first.
"the debugger doesn't tell me anything because this code compiles just fine" - random QA comment
"Facebook is where you tell lies to your friends. Twitter is where you tell the truth to strangers." - chriselst
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What's on second.
You looking for sympathy?
You'll find it in the dictionary, between sympathomimetic and sympatric
(Page 1788, if it helps)
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"If voting changed anything, they'd make it illegal."
- Emma Goldman
Bastard Programmer from Hell 
If you can't read my code, try converting it here[^]
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Eddy Vluggen wrote: "If voting changed anything, they'd make it illegal."
Nice. 
Jeremy Falcon
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I could vote for that.
There are only 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.
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