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ROFLMFAO!!!
I guess he didn't need to have good hand-eye coordination, he just needed to be on the field.
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The Telegraph[^]
Well, I have got nothing to say... 
Your time will come, if you let it be right.
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I notice that New Zealand isn't even on the map! Presumably, this is because it's so corrupt it only appears in the far infra-red? 
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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Well it is, just drag the map area with the mouse and hover over a country for the details.. 
And FYI NZ is ranked 2 after Denmark..
Your time will come, if you let it be right.
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Talking to defamation of sheep?
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
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So, Slovenia is ranked 39, but how did they assign points to this ?
I feel that our officials are quite corrupted.
Don't want to imagine what it's like in countries past or even around 100.
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Somehow Hungary's score is unchanged yet they have gone up in the rankings; obviously others are getting worse. I was not however surprised for the joint bottom nations North Korea and Somalia. I'm just interested how they both scored 8%. Where is there no corruption in those places?
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Could the corruption be relative to the conditions in the country ?
Because I can't imagine not going outside the law even to do good in places like Somalia or North Korea. With that kind of corruption it would be impossible to do anything without getting your hands dirty.
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Wow, UK in 8th position, I wonder who they have paid to appear that high in the rankings.
~RaGE();
I think words like 'destiny' are a way of trying to find order where none exists. - Christian Graus
Entropy isn't what it used to.
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http://www.economist.com/news/international/21631039-international-comparisons-are-popular-influentialand-sometimes-flawed-ranking-rankings[^]
Quote: The best indices are meticulous (PISA, for instance, combines dozens of carefully standardised sub-measures and raises statistical caveats). But others are based on shaky figures that are calculated differently in different countries. And choosing what to include often means pinning down slippery concepts and making subjective judgments. An index of democracy, freedom or happiness means putting hard numbers to the fairness of elections, weighing civil liberties against economic rights, or deciding how much to rely on surveys.
...
And for some countries where no one has tried to estimate the incidence of slavery, figures for others were used instead. Prevalence rates for Britain were applied to Ireland and Iceland, for example, and those for America, to several western European nations, including Germany. Ronald Weitzer of George Washington University, who has picked through the methodology, describes these substitutions as “bizarre”. Such indices are a “merry-go-round of data that isn’t really data,” says Mr Howard. “The aims may be well-meaning, but sensationalism doesn’t help.”
Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, waging all things in the balance of reason?
Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful?
--Zachris Topelius
Training a telescope on one’s own belly button will only reveal lint. You like that? You go right on staring at it. I prefer looking at galaxies.
-- Sarah Hoyt
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Mid last week, my temperature was running high and since I am clearly not a fan of hospitals, I thought it was best to limit myself to the confines of my room until the sickness disappears but my mom was having none of that. She dragged me to the hospital.
My first reaction when I got there was "WTH! This is crowded."
I signed up for a medical consultation and found a place to sit.
After 3 hours of waiting, the bad tempered nurse at the reception area called my name.
Thank God, I thought.
Before she let me into the doctor's office, she put me on a height scale, weight scale and proceeded to pump my BP.
"Nurse, Its just fever not a modelling audition. Are all these necessary?" I asked giggling.
She frowned at me and increased the pressure till the friction numbed my arms. That was her way of telling me to shut the hell up.
I was not surprised to say the least.
Its no news some Nigerian female nurses are far from polite. Especially those ones with big buttocks that are always roaming from ward to ward with a tray of injections, looking for an innocent patient to stab.
Like someone said on twitter, its only in Nigeria the nurses would wake you up from sleep to give you sleeping pills.
When I got into the examination room, I was expecting some sort of gadget to be used on me but everything was done MANUALLY. The doctor even used his palm to gauge my temperature rather than a thermometer.
Ose baddest doctor!!!
"So what is wrong with you?" He asked.
"That is your job doctor. If I knew I wouldn't be here."
No, that was not my reply. Clearly in Nigerian hospitals, you are expected to diagnose your problem in your house so you don't waste the doctor's time at the hospital.
"Fever." I replied.
For all I know it could be a fever disguising as TB. God Forbids!
A cancerous fever. God Forbids!
A brain tumour fever. God Forbids!!
Ebola Fever. God Forbids!!!
But no, not in our hospitals. The first rule they operate in is,
"All facts surrounding a fever must be twisted and twisted until the final diagnosis reads MALARIA."
Now I made his job easier, he began manipulating my replies.
"How is it doing you?" He asked.
Na wa o. See question.
I used my palm to massaged my chin for a few seconds and then I said,
"Its doing me somehow oh."
"You have headache?"
"No"
"Loss of appetite?"
"I guess."
"Cough?"
"No."
"Cold?"
"Small."
He turned to my mom this time. "Madam, she has malaria!" He exclaimed.
*sigh* As usual. Don't we all?
It seemed he forgot to ask me when last I saw my period in his line of questions. My heart broke some years back when a malaria diagnosing doctor threw the question at a twelve year old Naija single girl.
The only diagnosis these doctors are good at making are malaria, pregnancy and HIV.
All my life, whenever I go to the hospital, I always return home with the same malaria declaration after the doctor has assessed me MANUALLY. Sometimes when the doctor is in a good mood, he takes my hard earned blood and upgrades me to typhoid. This is the reason my dad almost bundled me to a native doctor when a medical doctor told him the chances of his fragile 5-year old Naija single girl surviving malaria were 20:80.
At least native doctors have high-tech equipment like a calabash for skyping with sango, a speaking mirror and no-nonsense oracles.
Even when I roll into the hospital from the expressway with green blood dripping from my nose, blue mucus dripping from my mouth and down syndrome attitude, Its still malaria!
Back to our story.
It was time for drug administration. My favourite part where the doctor gets to clear the shelves of the in-house pharmacy for me. The closer the drugs are to their expiration date, the more generous he gets.
Five transparent nylon of drugs were given to me. First contained several tablets of paracetamol, second contained those medium size multi vitamins, third contained more than twenty tiny yellow tablets, fourth contained a green coloured anti malaria tablets and the last one, orange vitamic C.
"Take all of it. Directives are on the pack for your dosage." The doctor commanded.
All ke? He didn't even have conscience.
That was when I gave into a hysterical laughter. I laughed to the point that I felt the fever leaving me in annoyance.
When I walked back to the reception, I wanted to grab a mic to announce to the impatient prospective patients to return home. After all, their problem is either pregnancy or malaria.
Finally home, it was time for me to be my own doctor as usual. I tossed everything into my trashcan except for my vitamic C which became my hourly tomtom.
Until our health care system improves, I know what to do when sickness strikes again.
Migraine : Alabukun powder
Headache : Panadol
Catarhh : Procold
Purging : Flagyl
Boil : Robb
Waist pain : Aboniki balm
Madness : Native doctor
Dislocated bone : Pastor Chris Oyakilome
HIV : Prophet T B Joshua
#Copied
source: "THIS IS WHY WE NEED BABALAWOS IN NIGERIAN HOSPITALS" by Naija Single Girl http://naijasinglegirl.com/this-is-why-we-need-babalawos-in-nigerian-hospitals/[^]
Disclaimer: Naijasinglegirl will not be liable for any losses, injuries, or damages arising from this satirical post. Nigerian Medical Association, take note. The rest of you should shun self medication so you don’t end up mad like me. LOL
modified 3-Dec-14 3:37am.
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This is enjoyable writing, but why not credit the source which is the blog of (supposedly) a Nigerian young woman named Naija: [^].
Please note that her blog essay has a copyright notice.
«OOP to me means only messaging, local retention and protection and hiding of state-process, and extreme late-binding of all things. » Alan Kay's clarification on what he meant by the term "Object" in "Object-Oriented Programming."
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I acknowledge the write up isn't mine by putting "#copied" at the end, but seriously never heard of the blog. I saw it somewhere else on the net who didn't acknowledge the source! I will make amend now. Thanks
PS: Her name is not Naija, Naija is Nigerian Pidgin English[^] for Nigeria!
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Oso Oluwafemi Ebenezer wrote: After 3 hours of waiting, the bad tempered nurse at the reception area called my name.
Its the same in the UK except waiting time is 4 hours. 
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Y'know, I really couldn't be bothered reading such a long text... 
Besides, I still haven't received the money from Nigeria they promised me the last time I did it... 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
-----
The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
-----
I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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Wait, I promised you some cash? Oh, send your ATM card and PIN number to me, I will credit your account.
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Johnny 5 is alive! Bad human! 
.'\ /`.
.'.-.`-'.-.`.
..._: .-. .-. :_...
.' '-.(o ) (o ).-' `.
: _ _ _`~(_)~`_ _ _ :
: /: ' .-=_ _=-. ` ;\ :
: :|-.._ ' ` _..-|: :
: `:| |`:-:-.-:-:'| |:' :
`. `.| | | | | | |.' .'
`. `-:_| | |_:-' .'
`-._ ```` _.-'
``-------'/xml>
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I thought he was supposed to be a genius? 
There are only 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.
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Yeah, genius is a term from the last century. He's an expert in physics, not a genius.
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Andy Brummer wrote: Yeah, genius is a term from the last century. He's an expert in physics, not a genius.
Well said. Genius is a term for the last century.
"Expert in..." much better.
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Well, gosh, it makes more sense to me that whatever replaces Homo Sap (after we self-destruct) would be to us left-behinds-and-extincted ...
... as the little rat-like critter ... that was the ancestor of all mammals [^] ...
... was to the asteroid-gone-bye-bye dinosaurs ...
... if we haven't left behind a radioactive wasteland of a planet with poisonous oceans, in which case, my money's on cockroaches.
And, if we survive, I don't think we'll be exterminated; we're too innately programmed to be excellent slaves for that.
But, I mean ... like wow ! ... isn't it enough that we're all gonna die ?
cheers, Bill
«OOP to me means only messaging, local retention and protection and hiding of state-process, and extreme late-binding of all things. » Alan Kay's clarification on what he meant by the term "Object" in "Object-Oriented Programming."
modified 3-Dec-14 3:34am.
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Been watching too many terminator movies if you ask me.
Wrong is evil and must be defeated. - Jeff Ello
(√-sh*t) 2
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