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Due to funding cuts from congress, they are the ones sending out these emails.
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Don't be daft!
We're talking about criminals! Criminals can be dangerous!
The NSA's Health & Safety policy states that they're not allowed to put themselves at risk by dealing with criminals or actual ter'r'rists!
It's much safer to bully innocent people, who won't shoot them in the face!
... Yet.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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You have to look for a particular pattern, in these things.
The scammers are obviously intelligent people, and they have developed a pattern that matches their intelligence:
Step 0: Bu11sh1t.
Step 1: Ask for money.
Any e-mail that follows that pattern is obviously from one of them.
... Or from me. How much have you got?
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Quote: How much have you got?
Oh I have tons of money. I can let you have around a quadrillion old Zimbabwean dollars! If you shop around, you may be able to buy one whole lollypop with that much! Where do I send it? Just give me your bank account details and sit back and wait for your fortune!
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Cornelius Henning wrote: There should be a central authority, set up by an entity like the FBI or Interpol, where these miscreants can be reported!
Fortunately, for you, there is.
Please send all banking details to NSS (Nigerian State Security), at BankFraud@NSS.ru, so we may safeguard your funds from this type of fraud. 
Once you lose your pride the rest is easy.
In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you. – Buddha
Simply Elegant Designs JimmyRopes Designs
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After almost two weeks of digging through procmon logs and using dependency walker, I finally achieved victory this morning! The challenge was to get a deployable installation for existing clients (legacy) to upgrade crystal reports runtime from version 9.2 to 11.0...without using merge modules! It's been awhile since I flipped off and verbally assaulted the screen, especially when it finally submitted...'take that you #$@%'...'!!!
Unfortunately, there was a casualty...my last version of XP on metal. I had arrogantly assumed that my restore points were OK. After trying several rps, (all failed) I noticed that my number of available restore points kept decreasing.  So, now I can either live with a half-baked installation that can't be uninstalled, or rebuild it from scratch...I'm leaning towards the latter. I still use it for a few games and as a test rig...and also for retrieving/exporting our code signing cert, which is my next achievement of the day!
It was down to the wire getting a verification call through to our primary contact person since she has been out of the office and refuses to answer the cell if she doesn't recognize the area code!  Finally, it got done, and I won't have to worry about that again for another two years. 
On the home front, I've had strangers in my house for 9 out the last 10 days! The missus decided that the master bath needed an overhaul...new shower/floor tile, new countertop and sinks. They should be finished today!  The only downside is that they don't do plumbing, so I'll need to hook up the sinks and toilet...diy is fun right? 
"Go forth into the source" - Neal Morse
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Quote: So, now I can either live with a half-baked installation that can't be uninstalled, or rebuild it from scratch
Restore points cannot be relied upon 100% of the time. What works for me at ALL TIMES is taking an image of my systems drive every now and so often. Have you tried that?
modified 14-Apr-15 16:26pm.
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Good point, but a little late for that.  Vielleicht Das Nachster Zeit[^]
The truth is, I really don't mind rebuilding it. At least I'll get rid of that annoying 'end of life cycle' popup for awhile! 
"Go forth into the source" - Neal Morse
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Restoring an image takes approximately 15 minutes - versus hours for a rebuild?
But as you say: "Maybe next time!" By the way: Being on a fixed retirement income, I am reluctant to contribute to charities. So when the lady at the supermarket cash register asks me: "Do you wish to contribute to this or that charity, my standard response is: "Maybe next time." Perhaps I could permanently shut them up by saying it in German? 
modified 15-Apr-15 7:56am.
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Cornelius Henning wrote: Perhaps I could permanently shut them up by saying it in German?
"Es"?
Not sure how that would help.
Welcome to the fourth grade, by the way.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Quote: Welcome to the fourth grade, by the way.
What are you talking about? I never got anywhere near the 4th grade in German! I learnt my German from Kennedy: What is that quote again? ... Oh yes:
"Es gibt ein Berliner!"
Did I get that right? 
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Cornelius Henning wrote: "Es gibt ein Berliner!"
Did I get that right?
"There's a doughnut*"?
Well, if a doughnut is really there, then it's fine.
* "Donut" in blasted-colonial-speak.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Quote: blasted-colonial-speak
I am sure Kennedy was speaking "high German", not some "blasted colonial" dialect!
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*nostalgic sigh*
For breakfast in Germany, you get doughnuts (berliners) and paint-stripper coffee.
For breakfast in Italy, you get doughnuts (bomboloni) and paint-stripper coffee.
For breakfast in England, you get sausages, eggs, bacon, grilled tomatoes, black pudding, beans, fried bread, toast, and a cup of tea in a cracked cup.
WTF am I doing in the Netherlands, where the idea of a good meal is either a sandwich with one slice of cheese, or mashed potatoes with veg mashed into them (and not even fried)?
Something has gone very wrong with my life.
Plus side: My wife is Chinese, so she knows genuine Chinese food.
Minus side: My wife is an electrical engineer, so she knows bugger-all about cooking.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Quote: Something has gone very wrong with my life
I don't want to be a wise guy, but things could be a lot worse: You could have been trapped in a third world toilet like Zimbabwe! Instead you have a very intelligent wife who is an electrical engineer and you live on the European continent in a civilized country. I would place your standard of living above the 95th percentile on a global scale! Yes, things could always be better for all of us, but reflect on what you have against all possible alternatives.
Also: How difficult will it be for you to move back to the UK?
modified 14-Apr-15 20:45pm.
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kmoorevs wrote: crystal reports ... It's been awhile since I flipped off and verbally assaulted the screen
At least since the last time attempting to use crystal reports.
Once you lose your pride the rest is easy.
In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you. – Buddha
Simply Elegant Designs JimmyRopes Designs
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it's borderline spamming .. 
I'd rather be phishing!
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Time to modify your name to Not For Hire.
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There is a reason that many recruiters will want to Skype you though what you had sounds like one of the 'recruitment' companies that gets people and then finds jobs rather than has jobs and then finds people.
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Quote: sounds like one of the 'recruitment' companies that gets people and then finds jobs rather than has jobs and then finds people
I believe you just described all recruiters. At least all recruiters I had the misfortune to meet over the decades.
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No, most recruitment companies have jobs that need people. So an 'agent' will spend a lot of their time cold-calling businesses to get jobs on the books. They then try to find poor professionals like us to fill those jobs so always keep in mind that the agent works for the employer, not you.
There are, however, agencies that work the other way around. They try to get people and then find a job to put them in. There are a couple I know of here and, once I figured out what they were up to, won't talk to them. The reason being is that they will blanket call as many businesses as they can and try to push you in. So if you just happen to apply to that job through Dice or whatever, they may already know about you and you may find you have to go through that agent if you want to pursue it because they will send your resume without asking (as many do anyway). These 'agents' will still err on the side of the employer since, in every case, the employer is the one that pays them.
And yes, I am cynical about the whole business but it's just the way it works.
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You obviously dislike recruiters and all the BS that comes with them - why not avoid them and find a job on your own?
Contrary to popular belief, nobody owes you anything.
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Mike Mullikin wrote: why not avoid them and find a job on your own?
A sensible response. 
There are only 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.
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Because many companies only recruit through these agencies. Often times you don't know the name of the company - only a job description and recruiter contact info.
If it's not broken, fix it until it is
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