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The client first tried a hardware solution, but the proposed equipment was incompatible with the existing infrastructure.
Then the client tried a software solution on the recommendation of his *nix friends that were experts in Javascript and node.js, but once the software was delivered, there was no documentation and he couldn't figure out all the command line options to download the various open source dependencies to get the code to compile.
Then the client outsourced the problem to a new consulting agency which charged him $250/hr an hour and finally delivered a candle without a wick.
In a last ditch attempt to save shareholder money, he decided to contract it out to an Indian firm. The resulting light bulb only turned on when it was dark in India and blew the fuse, but it didn't matter much because the bulb shattered after a few days anyways.
Giving up, the client decided to go back to college to learn how hardware works and how to write software. After years of studying, he's now patenting this[^] and starting his own light bulb replacement franchise. He's getting lots of publicity, everyone is talking about this new amazing technology, investors are throwing money at him, and Docker is working on creating a container for it.
Marc
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It's rather nice to see a young person get all dressed up in a tuxedo for his big scientific presentation.
The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative. -Winston Churchill
America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between. -Oscar Wilde
Wow, even the French showed a little more spine than that before they got their sh*t pushed in.[^] -Colin Mullikin
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Marc Clifton wrote: experts in Javascript and node.js, but once the software was delivered, there was no documentation and he couldn't figure out all the command line options to download the various open source dependencies to get the code to compile.
I was just singing .Net's praises to a colleague today precisely because some php 'expert' has given us some 'simple' code which involved lots of libraries and dependencies none of which have been documented and when we go online to find the libraries they are incomplete.
“That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”
― Christopher Hitchens
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GuyThiebaut wrote: none of which have been documented and when we go online to find the libraries they are incomplete.
There you go. My experiences as well. 
Marc
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Aaaaggh! And thrice Aaaaggh!
I ordered a new thermo nuclear deterrentstat for the old car and I went to pick it up. No gasket what they were supposed to have as well.
Why no gasket? No one makes them  
I have bought some gasket paper and will cut my own using the old one as a template.
veni bibi saltavi
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Hey, man - don't blow a gasket over it!
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Shuggle fruggle gruph frubby grabbit!
veni bibi saltavi
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That would make me lose my cool too.
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There is no cool, Britain has done a weather swap with Hades.
veni bibi saltavi
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You guys bust me up. 95 F is normal here in the summer, it was 106 F last summer. I loves it, my precious!
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Funnily we get it a lot hotter in Hungary, most years it'll break 40°C, but it doesn't have this awful humidity. I've been out in the Gulf in mid summer when it's nudged 50°C and it's not so painful.
The UK was not designed for anything over 27.6°C.
veni bibi saltavi
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I was in Marrakech last week and it was nudging 40 but it was a damn sight easier than it is in England nudging 30, damn humidity is the problem.
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That is exactly my experience. There is nothing worse than a hot day in the UK.
Except maybe Malaysia, I'm reliably informed by a colleague that it is permanent sticky humid weather there.
"If you don't fail at least 90 percent of the time, you're not aiming high enough."
Alan Kay.
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Nagy Vilmos wrote: Shuggle fruggle gruph frubby grabbit!
I asked my Hungarian friend what that means and he hasn't stopped laughing.
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When I was at my parent's house, we had an old piston water pump for the well.
Every few years, the gasket would need to be replaced.
I remember watching my Dad take the old gasket, put it on an old leather glove, trace, cut, place.
New leather gasket in place for the next few years.
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Oh you gonna need that!
My phone said it 27°C and it feels like 34°C so if weather keeps up to the 33°C max it would feel like 40°C ? Im not ready for that without a proper Nuclear shelter that is cooled 
if(this.signature != "")
{
MessageBox.Show("This is my signature: " + Environment.NewLine + signature);
}
else
{
MessageBox.Show("404-Signature not found");
}
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36°C here in the shade according to my thermometer. I don't want to think what it will be like at the garage, but you can bet your baby's shoe money it will be a fair bit more!
veni bibi saltavi
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Got no THermometer to tell you the exact value, but i send you cool wishes so you don'Ät melt. 36 in the shade is pretty tough
if(this.signature != "")
{
MessageBox.Show("This is my signature: " + Environment.NewLine + signature);
}
else
{
MessageBox.Show("404-Signature not found");
}
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Nagy Vilmos wrote: No one makes them
Quote: I have bought some gasket paper and will cut my own using the old one as a template.
I see a contradiction... 
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I'm sure they assumed you have a 3D printer that can print with the new gasket paper and could download the file to print one. Seems logical. 
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That's probably not an option. Surely, his 3D printer is out printing a steel bridge[^] at the moment?!?!? 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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Yeah I don't know why they don't pack a gasket with them anymore, I guess just a way to dig deeper in your pocket because they know you need one.
BTW don't forget the sealant.
New version: WinHeist Version 2.1.1 new web site.
I know the voices in my head are not real but damn they come up with some good ideas!
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Nagy Vilmos wrote: will cut my own using the old one as a template.
How object oriented of you.
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Reminds me of this
Kylie Minogue, Elton John and Robbie Williams are walking along the street. Kylie trips, jamming her head in some railings. Robbie, quick as a flash, pulls down her knickers and [beeeped] her senseless. He turns to Elton and says, "Your turn!" but Elton starts to cry.
"What's wrong, Elton?" asks Robbie.
Elton sobs, "My head won't fit through the railings!"
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