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W∴ Balboos wrote: 50 years of constipation
 That, fortunately, is one problem I do not suffer from.
As for memory problems, never! I have a memory like a whatchamacallem - one of those big grey things with trunks? 
If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack.
--Winston Churchill
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5 sheets + 2 folds = no problems
"the debugger doesn't tell me anything because this code compiles just fine" - random QA comment
"Facebook is where you tell lies to your friends. Twitter is where you tell the truth to strangers." - chriselst
"I don't drink any more... then again, I don't drink any less." - Mike Mullikins uncle
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You mean ... you don't use the three seashells? 
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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Alas, Laddie, I'm not of a sea-faring peoples.
We'd spend our time mulling over and ruing the consequences of have an shell slam closed most stubbornly on a sensitive area.
Have you give thought to trained crabs?
| Ravings en masse^ |
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| "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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Stop killing trees, Use a bidet !!!
I'd rather be phishing!
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Aside from the additional water consumption, you have to consider the consequences of a shot of ice-cold water on a winter's day.
A week-long sphincter lock does not sound appealing.
| Ravings en masse^ |
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| "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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W∴ Balboos wrote: Aside from the additional water consumption
Apparently, manufacturing a single roll of TP takes 1.5lb of wood, and 37 gallons of water...just how big a bidet were you planning on using? 
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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The water consumption content was just a polite lead-in to the real problem of an icy "finger of water" probing where it's most unwelcome.
In addition to the extended consequences of the event, it could cause a muscle-memory reflex that seals the orifice at the very approach to such a device.
| Ravings en masse^ |
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| "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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Apparently, you can get warm water devices, even with integral hot air driers.
Fortunately, our bathroom does not have sufficient space to accommodate such!
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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I remember reading a scifi story about a guy who realized that the more perforations you put in a piece of paper, the stronger it got, based on the likelihood that it would tear on the perforations - ie: more perfs = stronger, until, by perforating until there was nothing left, he had something that would withstand an atomic bomb.
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stoneyowl2 wrote: until there was nothing left
I actually have a supply of material in the above-mentioned state and would be willing to part with some of it for a nominal (cash!) fee.
| Ravings en masse^ |
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| "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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Ahh, but can you prove it is impervious to atomic bombs?
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So, you got sh*t on you hand while wiping. Big deal. Move along.
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W∴ Balboos wrote: The primary focus of this article
Outstanding article, excellent description of workflow, great unit test documentation, but the source seems to be missing. 
Marc
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Marc Clifton wrote: but the source seems to be missing
For which I am mighty grateful. 
"the debugger doesn't tell me anything because this code compiles just fine" - random QA comment
"Facebook is where you tell lies to your friends. Twitter is where you tell the truth to strangers." - chriselst
"I don't drink any more... then again, I don't drink any less." - Mike Mullikins uncle
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It was dumped.
If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack.
--Winston Churchill
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I think this post is worthy of an article containing a plethora of screenshots.
/ravi
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Then it would be moved to the Soapbox for being too much like US politics.
"the debugger doesn't tell me anything because this code compiles just fine" - random QA comment
"Facebook is where you tell lies to your friends. Twitter is where you tell the truth to strangers." - chriselst
"I don't drink any more... then again, I don't drink any less." - Mike Mullikins uncle
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Time to bring out the BS Scale[^], I say.
/ravi
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from the link (pun intended): Fluffy pieces with ragged edges, a mushy stool
sounds downright poetic.
"the debugger doesn't tell me anything because this code compiles just fine" - random QA comment
"Facebook is where you tell lies to your friends. Twitter is where you tell the truth to strangers." - chriselst
"I don't drink any more... then again, I don't drink any less." - Mike Mullikins uncle
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Very informative.
On further research I found: Revised Bristol Stool Chart [^]
although some prefer this Alternative Presentation[^]
| Ravings en masse^ |
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| "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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I know someone has to study this sh*t, but come on, I don't want to hear about it. 
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Since you asked, here's the original essay on flatuelence first published in the 14th edition of the Merck Manual, 1982[^]:
Flatulence, which can cause great psychosocial distress, is unofficially described according to its salient characteristics:
- The “slider” (crowded elevator type), which is released slowly and noiselessly, sometimes with devastating effect;
- The open sphincter, or “pooh” type, which is said to be of higher temperature and more aromatic;
- The staccato or drumbeat type, pleasantly passed in privacy;
- The “bark” type (described in a personal communication) is characterized by a sharp exclamatory eruption that effectively interrupts (and often concludes) conversation. Aromaticity is not a prominent feature. Rarely, this usually distressing symptom has been turned to advantage, as with a Frenchman referred to as “Le Petomane,” who became affluent as an effluent performer who played tunes with the gas from his rectum on the Moulin Rouge stage.
/ravi
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Our QA Engineer's name is Ravi, as well. I wonder if he has an affinity for poop and fart? I must ask...not. 
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