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Says the little cowboy who ranches code 
modified 9-Apr-18 11:27am.
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(add creepy music)
I Skype dead people
I'd rather be phishing!
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I for one, am so stubborn I intend to talk back even when I'm ded; because there's an API for that.
Skype Developer Platform | MSDN[^].
Bastard Programmer from Hell 
If you can't read my code, try converting it here[^]
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I look forward to your article when you get it working
<sig notetoself="think of a better signature">
<first>Jim</first> <last>Meadors</last>
</sig>
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This was all over the crazy news this morning: Man 'cements microwave to head' in Wolverhampton - BBC News[^]
Clearly the IQ's involved are low and the level of artificially elevated mind states high but what were they trying to prove? Maybe I've already answered that.
Peter Wasser
"The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts." - Bertrand Russell
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I think this an awesome news.
Now we just need some shark mounted laser and that would have been like totally awesome!  
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Should have just turned the microwave on and done mankind a favor.
There are two kinds of people in the world: those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.
There are only 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.
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So today I've experienced what a lot of people are complaining about...
Insufficient privileges!
Up to now I've always been a sysadmin on all servers and databases, just because we had small teams where everyone did everything (and I did deployments, mostly).
I now work for a company that has developers and admins and (somewhat) clear roles for both of them.
So I deploy an application (using VSTS, which, apparently, has more rights than me).
And it doesn't work...
Ask an admin if he can check out a log file for me, yes there, no not there, that other folder, yeah, that one.
Then ask if he can change a config for me, yes that config, that value, no, with an A, not an E, yeah, like that.
Then ask if he can check that same log file for me, yes that folder, over there.
Then ask if he can install a certificate for me, yes I really need it, it's from a third party we need to run our business, yes really, on the local computer, no not the user account, yeah, like that.
Then ask if he can, again, check that log file for me.
Then ask if he can run a SQL script for me, that database, no that one, seems the schema is new, just type CREATE SCHEMA, no just do it, you need to type GO after a CREATE SCHEMA, no GO, yeah there, try again...
Log file again.
Things are getting messy, turned out the IIS app pool didn't have sufficient rights for the certificate.
Great, that works... Next application 
I'm not complaining that the sysadmin doesn't know how to do his job, but this took an entire afternoon while it should've taken about an hour.
I'm a developer, I've written the software, designed the database, deployed it to our test environment...
Just let me do my job on other environments as well
Computers are my job, I kind of know how they work... 
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You're singing the song of my people.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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In a nice strong baritone as well.
(I periodically have to remind the IT people to not f*ck with the wizard)
Software Zen: delete this;
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At my previous site, the system administrator (server side) was just that.. the administrator. And the network people could do there job.
Following a 'merger' and shift of responsibilities to corporate, neither can do there job.. the system administrator does not have access rights to the nodes to make sufficient changes - he is a glorified part swapper, and the network? That is contracted out to a firm - you now just hold the door for them and escort them throughout the mill.
Bigger is not always better; let people do there job.
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Welcome to the world of PCI compliance where even sysadmins don't have any privileges. Where some random QSA (Qualified Security Auditor) who is basically unfamiliar with your business or business rules gets to convince management that removing IT access to all servers and data, except the glorified few, somehow automagically makes everything "better".
And where getting anything deployed to production requires an act of congress because everyone knows that developers, who have worked for the same company for 30 years, can't be trusted.
And if something bad should happen to the only two people who are actually allowed to approve deployments to production, then no one is deploying anything until the one network person who actually knows where all the skeletons are buried can worm his way into the deployment system and approve someone else.
Because apparently, this is how everyone else does it.
"...JavaScript could teach Dyson how to suck." -- Nagy Vilmos
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Sander Rossel wrote: Computers are my job, I kind of know how they work...
Because every time I've heard that it was aaaaalwaaays true!
(Not implying that it doesn't actually apply to you!  )
I'm pretty sure I would not like to live in a world in which I would never be offended.
I am absolutely certain I don't want to live in a world in which you would never be offended.
Freedom doesn't mean the absence of things you don't like.
Dave
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I am so in the same space right now. Had some guy from "IT" respond to a ticket I raised with some cr@p that started "I've talked to Microsoft and...". :sniff:...anyone else smell that? Then a business critical month end process crashes and when I ask for a registry entry to be changed he demands "a business case" before IT can "authorise the use of that Access database"
As if it's not soul - destroying enough to be working as a "VBA Developer" I have to watch a bunch of cowboys pass themselves off as an "IT" department providing zero service to the business. Jeez.
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My job title, and the AD groups I am in, says I am a DBA and System & Server Admin.
We (my coworker, in the same job) have been trying to install an MS SQL cluster on a server since August.
I think I'll just leave it at that. Use your imagination: think about permissions and HBSS and DNS and AD and VMs and about how each teeny tiny aspect of an enterprise system is individually controlled by different people, in different parts of the country, and how each request has to go through a ticketing system that averages about three days from submission to assignment.
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Wow, good luck! 
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Okay so reading this made me cringe and here is why: the world will not improve if you do not do your part in improving it.
Of course you could have done everything on your own, no body is doubting that you are good with computers. But time is not on your side; there are deadlines, there are priorities, there are projects to be delivered, bills to be paid, etc. Besides, evolution taught us that humans excelled the most when they worked together, when ideas clashed, etc, it's not always good to do everything on you own.
You work in a company where you chose to be a developer presumably because this is what you like/enjoy the most, and this is what brings the best of you. So focusing on this role should be your highest priority.
I'm just stating these in order to establish a context.
Now having these in mind, here is how the scenario could have been handled:
0 Encounter with a sysadmin, understood that he is way beyond his capabilities
1 ask for his supervisor/senior/manager etc, solve the problem in one hour maybe two.
2 transfer your knowledge to this new sysadmin
2a this would have helped him a lot in his career
2b this would have given him the interest to dig deeper and enjoy his job
2c this would have saved a lot of time the next time you come to him
2d this would have saved a lot of time for the next developer that comes to him
2e this would have given you a privilege over all other developers because you became a special person for this sysadmin
2f this would have made him like developers and helping them because he would have felt that there is always a lesson to learn
... and so many more benefits.
Instead, by being frustrated at him, it made him feel bad about his job, made him feel that he will never grow in this position because developers can always do his job in a fraction of the time and he is just there because of some company policy, made him hate developers, etc...
and this would for sure help creating a toxic work environment
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It seems you missed my point.
I explicitly stated that I'm not complaining about him not knowing his job and I don't think that's what I made him feel like.
It's just that this has been a process that took me six weeks to get right on various environments.
The sysadmins are in no way involved with the entire project.
And now that it needs to go to production I need to transfer six weeks of knowledge, gained from struggling with third party code, services, and certificates, in just a couple of minutes, to someone who'll further remain uninvolved.
Mostly it's not a problem, except when I need to disturb him in his work to OPEN A TEXT FILE because I don't have access to it.
Of course I can open a text file, or click an exe, my grandma could do that!
So here I am, disturbing him, being slowed down myself, to open a text file...
Basically, that's what his job is now, showing me the content of some text files.
Tell me, how is that focusing on my role, how is that helping or improving him?
At least you are right about the toxic work environment 
I could really use him now by the way, I need to run a program for five seconds and view the logs, but there's no sysadmin anywhere in sight... 
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Separation of responsibilities is an important thing; I've had the joy of being on an assessment team that turned into an incident response team overnight because of it.
"There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and statistics."
- Benjamin Disraeli
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I feel your pain. You feel my pain. (fortunately, I got a guy who knows a guy ... )
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Sounds like a process issue to me. Probably just need a layer of management in-between to approve the changes to be deployed.
Because, of course, they'd understand the changes and process, be easily accessible and be anything more than a rubber stamp. 
What if, rather than add layers of bureaucracy, we hired smart people, and trusted them to do the right things (which includes trusting them to know when they're out-of-scope and get help).
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The one time I had to work in that kind of environment, we complained until we got the permissions we needed to do our job.
Otherwise, I've been responsible for everything, including debugging or working around Microsoft or other large company bugs, because the only support we could get was like that situation you just described, where we knew what the problem was, but couldn't get past the support person to the next level, assuming we could even understand that person, given their heavy accent.
So, I've asked for a clay tablet and stylus for a Christmas present this year.
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1/2 day? ... How about 6 months waiting for a DBA to "approve" your design.
What ever happened to IBM and SQL Server and Oracle "DBA"'s? Did they ascend into heaven?
Oh, right; desktop database engines.
"(I) am amazed to see myself here rather than there ... now rather than then".
― Blaise Pascal
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Sander Rossel wrote: but this took an entire afternoon while it should've taken about an hour.
...and so if the production machine goes down or gets hacked who is the person that is on the hook for that?
Myself it has been a long time since I would even accept credentials on a production machine when there were actual ops personnel around. And I discourage handing out such access to others. If there is a problem then figuring out the source is easier when there are far few fingers in the mix.
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But actually getting anything done becomes pretty much impossible.
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