|
Brian's stress level was at unsurpassed levels.
His wife Maggie was in labor and Brian was sure it was time to head to the hospital.
Breathing heavily, Brian grabbed the phone and called the doctor. "MY WIFE, SHE’S READY, SHOULD WE COME?"
The doctor tried to relax the poor fellow, "just try to relax, now tell me how much time elapses between the contractions?"
"SHIRLEY!" Brian screamed on the top of his lungs, "HOW MUCH TIME IN BETWEEN THE CONTRACTIONS? TEN MINUTES? OK, TEN MINUTES IN BETWEEN!"
"And is this her first child?” Questioned the doctor.
"NO YOU STUPID NITWIT, THIS IS HER HUSBAND!"
|
|
|
|
|
|
First child?
|
|
|
|
|
Not the pilot from Airplane.
|
|
|
|
|
Actually, in real life, I have found that husband/wife birth events are best conducted as do-it-yourself projects.
I was a cord-cutter probably decades before any of you !
Ravings en masse^ |
---|
"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
|
|
|
|
|
W∴ Balboos, GHB wrote: Actually, in real life
If you wanna point out what doesn't work with the joke (yeah, I'm that guy)...I'd say by the time the wife is going into labor, doctor and patient would already be on a first-name basis, and he'd have no reason to ask at that point whether this is her first child or not.
|
|
|
|
|
We had a home birth (practice specialize in it) for our first and I delivered the next two, myself (actually, my wife delivered them and I just caught them).
There's a different joke - a background joke - on most of western (eastern, northern, southern) civilizations: They were brainwashed into making a big deal about childbirth. One should take advantage of prenatal care and IF there's a real potential for a problem then have some more professional help - but in the very vast majority of cases it will just plain happen.
The big deal? It helps to make some big bucks, puts the mother and child at risk (hospital diseases, hospital policies, and hospital staff). C-Section rate, at least in the US if four times the traditional rate. Once you're in the hospital and they hook you up to their instrumentation - anything the deviates from the norm puts them into cut-it-out mode. One device, the 'fetal monitor' has, in fact, actually increased maternal mortality (more C-Sections).
Remember - I'm talking about the vast majority of childbirths - not those that do require intervention (diabetic mother, for example, triplets and beyond, etc.).
Ravings en masse^ |
---|
"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
|
|
|
|
|
@User-36644
You won yesterday!
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
"Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
|
|
|
|
|
|
Oh, Did not notice it..
will whip something and post it in few mins
cheers,
Super
------------------------------------------
Too much of good is bad,mix some evil in it
|
|
|
|
|
|
Even 20 years ago most of the employers didn't care for the degree (it was a sickness of the big and government). But they do care for knowledge...
Learning at college has the advantage of a more strict environment. However these 'Career Certificates' can help those without finances to move forward.
The real problem that it will make HR's work more complicated - and even today they are not shining...
(an other interesting side-effect will be, that those are really bright and hard-working will not be even close to government positions - so your online services will be even worst than today)
"The only place where Success comes before Work is in the dictionary." Vidal Sassoon, 1928 - 2012
|
|
|
|
|
Based on content, it qualifies you as a IT "trainee"; I hesitate to use even the term "junior programmer". If anything, it says you stuck it out. (More like a programmer aptitude test).
It was only in wine that he laid down no limit for himself, but he did not allow himself to be confused by it.
― Confucian Analects: Rules of Confucius about his food
|
|
|
|
|
Well, take a shortcut. From Slashdot:
Quote: those jobs aren't coming back. Give them the tools..."
One such possible job he offered as an example? Computer programming. "Six months, you're going to become a computer coder. We'll pay for it.... we need to give them a lifeline to what's the next chapter."
If you can keep your head while those about you are losing theirs, perhaps you don't understand the situation.
|
|
|
|
|
|
If you need to use the AC in November, you're in a warmer (and perhaps safer) environment than many others. My suggestion to your daughter would be to wear a mask when you leave the house, avoid crowds, observe social distancing, wash your hands with soap and water for 20 seconds (2 verses of Happy Birthday To You) and try not to touch your face, eyes and nose.
Good health to you and your family!
/ravi
|
|
|
|
|
Also, carry a flamethrower at all times.
If anyone around you isn't wearing a mask, or looks like they are going to sneeze - let them have it!
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
"Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
|
|
|
|
|
|
Around here, with all the dried leaves blowing around and in piles, a flame thrower is just a silly solution. We just hold there fully submerged in a bucket of bleach until they stop . . . sneezing.
Ravings en masse^ |
---|
"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
|
|
|
|
|
Thanks Ravi. Yes, we are in central Florida where the AC still works on and off in mid-November. My daughter works in a local grocery store and she must wear a mask all day at work. However, wearing a mask in the house is inconvenient.
I am not wrong. I am just different!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sweet.
Now I gotta watch the tv series ...
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
"Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
|
|
|
|
|
I was gonna point out that humor is all about timing, and that The Mandalorian wasn't exactly topical these days and that most people have moved on and have all but forgotten about it. But then, what I learned through this post is that the second season has, in fact, just started.
Sardonic comment retracted.
Now I need an excuse to continue watching the first season. I never bothered going on after 4 episodes.
|
|
|
|