|
A shepherd was herding a large flock in a remote pasture when a brand-new BMW drove up. The driver was a young man all dressed up in an expensive suit. He leaned out the window and said to the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give
me one?"
The shepherd looked at the man, then looked at his large flock and calmly sure, "Sure, Why not?" The young man parked his car and whipped a small computer and connected it to his cell phone. He surfed the internet and called up a GPS satellite navigation system and got an exact fix on his location. Then the satellite scanned the area and produced an ultra-high-resolution photo which he fed to a processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he received an email and he turned to the shepherd and said, "You have exactly 1,586 sheep."
The shepherd says, "Wow, that's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my sheep." He watches as the young man selects one of his animals and stuffs it in the trunk of his car.
Then the shepherd said, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what you do for a living, will you give me back my sheep?" The young man thought about it for a second and said, "Okay, Why not?" And the shepherd says, "You're a consultant." And the young guy said, "Wow! That's correct, but how did you guess that?" "No guessing required." answered the shepherd, "You showed up even though nobody called you; you wanted to be paid for something I already knew and you don't know anything about my business... now give me back my dog!"
When I was growin' up, I was the smartest kid I knew. Maybe that was just because I didn't know that many kids. All I know is now I feel the opposite.
|
|
|
|
|
RE:FWD:RE:RE:LOOOOLLL FWD:RE:Good One 
|
|
|
|
|
|
Married to a lovely woman. Have two beautiful daughters. Works as a SD.
|
|
|
|
|
All of us non-consultants are laughing it up and having a good old time (as we contemplate the consultants who surround us and are more highly paid than us). 
|
|
|
|
|
I was a consultant for a bit. It was soul crushing, but it made this funny.
When I was growin' up, I was the smartest kid I knew. Maybe that was just because I didn't know that many kids. All I know is now I feel the opposite.
|
|
|
|
|
honey the monster, codewitch wrote: I was a consultant for a bit. It was soul crushing
I think you had it backwards. You were supposed to be crushing the souls. 
You have to get bigger shoes next time and an extra large suit and start stomping around and yelling out, "Well, I _THE CONSULTANT_ can see the solution to your meager problems. I don't know why you people even try around here!!! Here, put some assembly code here and a sprinkle of JavaScript over there and you're all done."
|
|
|
|
|
"just put some inline assembly in the javascript and you're golden"
And then folks wonder why this happened: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asm.js[^]
When I was growin' up, I was the smartest kid I knew. Maybe that was just because I didn't know that many kids. All I know is now I feel the opposite.
|
|
|
|
|
The Two Ronnies would have been proud of that one!
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
damn i wasn't even on here in 03. I'd say none of the node.js developers here were even born then.
When I was growin' up, I was the smartest kid I knew. Maybe that was just because I didn't know that many kids. All I know is now I feel the opposite.
|
|
|
|
|
I wasn't either, but I'm sure I saw it here.
|
|
|
|
|
I just heard it today. Guess I'm behind. Maybe it was told behind my back when I was a consultant, but I thought it was funny.
When I was growin' up, I was the smartest kid I knew. Maybe that was just because I didn't know that many kids. All I know is now I feel the opposite.
|
|
|
|
|
Has a measuring cylinder graduated?
Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640
Never throw anything away, Griff
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
|
|
|
|
|
before graduation they would be gradients?
Message Signature
(Click to edit ->)
|
|
|
|
|
Both women and meniscus this question, looking for a solution.
| Ravings en masse^ |
|---|
| "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
|
|
|
|
|
Don't flask me; I think there are beaker questions to be answered.
|
|
|
|
|
OriginalGriff wrote: Has a measuring cylinder graduated?
No, it failed and has to take the glass again.
s
«Where is the Life we have lost in living? Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge? Where is the knowledge we have lost in information?» T. S. Elliot
|
|
|
|
|
CodeProject sent a marketing email today for ossum which "streamlines development, from idea to release." I thought, "hmm, that sounds interesting." So, I clicked the link and I cannot for the life of me even tell what the software does.
It has a link for "Why ossum?" but that just scrolls down the page to a paragraph of buzzwords. I click "Pricing" and it scrolls down the page to the pricing section. "Got ideas" is a feedback page.
"Resources" does not have much helpful.
I can't find anywhere that shows basic screenshots or videos or even descriptions of what the software even does.
Social Media - A platform that makes it easier for the crazies to find each other.
Everyone is born right handed. Only the strongest overcome it.
Fight for left-handed rights and hand equality.
|
|
|
|
|
That's typical of modern products. You buy a bunch of buzzwords and then have to sort out the mess when it's dropped in your lap.
"They have a consciousness, they have a life, they have a soul! Damn you! Let the rabbits wear glasses! Save our brothers! Can I get an amen?"
|
|
|
|
|
Buzzwords have been very good to me.
«Where is the Life we have lost in living? Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge? Where is the knowledge we have lost in information?» T. S. Elliot
|
|
|
|
|
BillWoodruff wrote: Buzzwords have been very good to me.
Genuine LOL occurred here!!
I almost squirted coffee out my nose!
|
|
|
|
|
I think it's for people who code in spacesuits. I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure.
Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640
Never throw anything away, Griff
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
|
|
|
|
|
OriginalGriff wrote: I think it's for people who code in spacesuits.
I'll guess I'll have to wait to sign-up. My suit is on back-order.
Social Media - A platform that makes it easier for the crazies to find each other.
Everyone is born right handed. Only the strongest overcome it.
Fight for left-handed rights and hand equality.
|
|
|
|
General 
News 
Suggestion 
Question 
Bug 
Answer 
Joke 
Praise 
Rant 
Admin 
Submit an article or tip
