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I can relate this this and it is possible to recover from these sorts of experiences.
I don't necessarily think that you are over-sensitive - I just think that life has a habit of sometimes putting things in our way that can harm us and spending 8 hours a day working with others is pretty much a guarantee that you are going to work with someone who may want to cause you harm or at least not care if they cause you harm.
What I found really helped me was CBT - in its most basic form it's a distraction technique and really helped me to deal with the habit of dwelling on bad work experiences from the past(it's not a magic cure but it's the best thing I have found so far to help with depression), in its more advanced form it's a tool for putting yourself in uncomfortable situations and changing your response to them.
“That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”
― Christopher Hitchens
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Had to look up CBT as I had originally assumed it was related to CBD. Hey, the context was there! Whatever helps to relieve the stress I guess!
"Go forth into the source" - Neal Morse
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Not claiming it's as bad as working for psychos, but working for people who totally ignore your work and its contribution to the business and ignore your advice (when they even bother to ask for it) can be as demoralising in the long-term.
They complain that our web site isn't as 'wizzy' as the latest wiz apps online totally ignoring that it was built on Java Faces back when that was considered - by some (mainly @Oracle) to be all-singing-all-dancing, and purchased from a third party vendor.
And we don't have access to any Java development software or a Java compiler.
I try to contribute, I really do, but I'm losing the will to live.....
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yes.
Work is another form of relationship. There have been a number of realisation for myself when watching some drama about "why does she/he not just leave she/he if they are so unhappy?" and think, wow my job is like that, why do I keep going in? And some similarities when long term couples see the surface level of another couple (job opportunity) and think wow, that looks like a great couple. Why are we not like that.
I will leave article which I found a few helpful points How to Slow Down to Go Faster Than Ever in Software Development
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One caveat; just like any drug, some people just crave the adrenaline rush that goes with high-pressure work. (I lump the abusive bosses/constant pressure in the same category). Not sure I'm expressing what I'm thinking properly.
I'm not saying that's a good or healthy thing. I'm just saying some people get almost addicted to the stress.
I agree wholeheartedly with your sentiment, Marc. It's amazing what can be accomplished when an organization hires smart people and empowers them to do good things as an alternative philosophy.
In short, for less-experienced people: bad situations are not worth it. If you're in a situation where you hate getting out of bed in the morning, start looking.
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Job related stress can produce serious effects, and recovery can take years. You are far from alone in this.
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i was at an abusive job for 19 years, i didn't realize how bad it was until i started telling my new coworkers stories about the old shop.
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Oh absolutely. My experience at work from 2010-2015 was consecutively horrible. I too had a psychopathic boss. My previous career from 1978-2009 was pretty comfortable. Just the usual project death marches and stuff.
It was so bad it left me shellshocked. It interfered with my interviewing for new jobs, caused me to ask questions that probably disqualified me as a candidate. I ended up retiring to write geeky books on C++ and experiment with all the software I never had time to try out when I was employed.
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Worst boss I ever had was when I was self-employed.
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The cycle of change.
That "lovely" job can turn into a nightmare anytime; and vise-versa.
Just knowing that, helps to keep things in perspective. But you also make your own luck.
One other point: when things are rough, they usually leave you alone. When you're ready to proclaim victory, that's when they'll take it from you.
"(I) am amazed to see myself here rather than there ... now rather than then".
― Blaise Pascal
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unfortunately, due to reorganization (layoffs) in my previous company i have been assigned to two different bosses.
one of them, my older boss, was trying to prove to the director that this new "thing" is not going to work, albeit in a passive way. without telling him directly, but by sabotaging my daily work, giving me instant assignments that confronted my current assignments from the new boss.
the new boss on the other had was a totalitarian psychopath who used to phone us on 20 minute basis to ask for progress, status, etc. in one word micromanagement at it's worst. he was also at high stress by this reorganization. the director also, everybody was taking some king of stress reducing pills. the place was falling apart.
during that period i have developed insomnia and a nervous tick i still can't get rid off, even that now i work in a beautiful stress free company. 3 years have passed since then.
one morning, after spending a sleepless nigh, i went angry to the directors office and said to him "you will assign me to only one boss, i don't care which one, or i will come to work but i'll stop working". he was afraid being caught on the radar by upper management so he complied. either that or he used me to the maximum and had to loosen up a little.
a few months later a left that IT job for an unqualified workers job as a electric meter reader. in the past 3 years 5 of my colleagues have left that IT firm voluntarily and another 5 were forced to leave. the rest of them, some of my best friends, are still battling high pressure.
the motto "stress increases productivity" is like mass hysteria. it doesn't leave the company once it's in, unless something huge breaks.
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One example:
window.localStorage raises an unspecified error when accessed in a local file - Microsoft Edge Development[^]
This was first reported in Sept of 2016. Never fixed. Amusing last post on that issue, posted Jan 13 2019:
Quote: Continues to be a problem Jan 2019.
Unfortunately, I don’t foresee this getting fixed due to MS dropping Edge and switching to Chromium.
Shame MS is giving up on Edge, it is far and above what Chromium is giving us right now
Yeah right. 2+ years and they haven't fixed it, and Edge is better than Chromium???
Latest Article - Slack-Chatting with you rPi
Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny
Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802
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Facts and logic have nothing to do with faith and belief - I thought you knew that?
That's why emacs users still can't accept they are wrong either...
Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640
Never throw anything away, Griff
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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And what is wrong with emacs, may I ask?
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I knew it!
Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640
Never throw anything away, Griff
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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Obligatory Dilbert
"When you are dead, you won't even know that you are dead. It's a pain only felt by others; same thing when you are stupid."
Ignorant - An individual without knowledge, but is willing to learn.
Stupid - An individual without knowledge and is incapable of learning.
Idiot - An individual without knowledge and allows social media to do the thinking for them.
modified 19-Nov-21 21:01pm.
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emacs is a quite good operating system, but it lacks a decent editor.
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I think that probably wins you teh internets for the day...
Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640
Never throw anything away, Griff
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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Got it in one, dude/dudette!
Software Zen: delete this;
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So true.
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Are fatal Twitter diseases untweetable?
Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640
Never throw anything away, Griff
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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I wish they were not!
"If we don't change direction, we'll end up where we're going"
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They just get a #ToeTag .
Ravings en masse^ |
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"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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