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Ask the B-Rex it will tell you!
... such stuff as dreams are made on
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I just had an inspirational moment. A borderline Eureka moment.
Admittedly (and fortunately) this is not experiential but theoretical. I strenuously urge,* however, the warning should be heeded most scrupulously.
Folding Toilet Tissue.
Depending upon your habits, you’ll pull off some number of sheets. Usually 6, but perhaps more with Scotties single ply (1000/roll) and considerably more with the likes of Marcal or store-brand single-plys. So far – so good.
Naturally, no one uses these without first folding into a conveniently sized tuft for application (i.e., residual buffing). This is usually repeated several times per session until the folded appliance appears (reasonably) free of streakage. But there is a hidden danger lying within this ritual!
If you do not give due notice to the manner in which you fold your tufts, it is possible that the perforations might align (this only need be close, not exact!). Should this rather unfortuitous situation occur, the application of pressure by you index finger over what will amount to an unsupported region (due to the underlying orifice structure) could easily result in breakthrough. Indeed, if you behaving a bit aggressively at the time, it may even result in an anal-poke and heart-wrenching sense of dismay.
The primary focus of this article is, of course, to warn you of the possibility that you may guard against it. One convenient mechanism is to count the sheets. If it is an even number, fold serially into thirds; if it’s an odd number, do likewise, but by halves. This will guarantee adequate phase-shift of perforations so as to allow a relaxed and confident application regimen capable of withstand utilization port-stern, stern-to-port, and novel circular patterns.
Good Luck and Safe Wiping!
* Carefully chosen expression if ever there was one!
Ravings en masse^ |
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"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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That stinks. What a sticky situation.
Have you sunk so low as to post this? Have I sunk so low as to respond?
P.S. Only use two ply.
Mongo: Mongo only pawn... in game of life.
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Corporal Agarn wrote: P.S. Only use two ply. If only it were that simple - but there's still the danger of perforation mode synchronization (PMS) - and the consequences thereof.
Also - enjoy sinking to the bottom. Once there, things can only get better.
Ravings en masse^ |
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"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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I'm using the 4-sheets-3-fold technique - works great (we have no single ply toilet tissue, or I do not know it... mine has 3)
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
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Sounds better than the 'good old days' where one would sit in the sand with their feet in the air, using their hands to supply forward locomotion in order to drag oneself forward until . . .
Ravings en masse^ |
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"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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Primitive, we used corn cobs.
Mongo: Mongo only pawn... in game of life.
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I've never used a corn cob.
Tell me. In your experience, do cobs work best with a lateral swipe or an end-on thrust?
And what of the mini-corn favored in many Asian cuisines?<br?
<div class="signature">
Ravings en masse^ |
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"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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[Baloo/Balboos] The bare necessities, they'll come to you.
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each paper has 4 layers (the one i buy) if i fold 3 pieces to one i have 12 layers protecting my finger from *shoop da whoop* so i guess im safe (if i fold 6 to 2 its 12 layers, folding again 24!)
Rules for the FOSW ![ ^]
if(this.signature != "")
{
MessageBox.Show("This is my signature: " + Environment.NewLine + signature);
}
else
{
MessageBox.Show("404-Signature not found");
}
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Alas Alas Alas Alas.
The lesson was not the count-of-layers but the phase of perforations. Unless your paper has no perforations to aid in dispensing you will still fall into the same danger.
Actually, more easily, as since you need fewer folds it's less likely that a sheet-middle will protect you from a tear-point.
Ravings en masse^ |
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"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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Well but i guess the one who fails to fold according to perforations deserves to get his hand dirty
Rules for the FOSW ![ ^]
if(this.signature != "")
{
MessageBox.Show("This is my signature: " + Environment.NewLine + signature);
}
else
{
MessageBox.Show("404-Signature not found");
}
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Cardboard between the papers helps
Bastard Programmer from Hell
If you can't read my code, try converting it here[^]
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Fold it into a Mobius strip
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Indeed, I appreciate your contribution to this thread.
It helps with an environmental project of mine which I will doubtless shortly patent.
Instead of paper wipes, which consume trees and then end up as murky waste requiring various treatment methodologies, I had the following preposition:
We replace the paper with gently textured thin plastic sheeting. Following utilization, the sheet is hung on the wall. It is then squeegeed clean (clips and squeegee are supplied) and is ready for reuse.
A Mobius strip is an excellent enhancement to this design!
Ravings en masse^ |
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"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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W∴ Balboos wrote: A Mobius strip is an excellent enhancement to this design!
Agreed, although the result is too wide. The obvious solution is to cut or tear it down the middle, giving two mobius strips that are about the right size.
I'm retired. There's a nap for that...
- Harvey
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Is this a problem that occurs often in your house?
In almost 50 years, I cannot recall one time that this has happened to me. I would say that this is a non-problem.
If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack.
--Winston Churchill
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'Tis not a problem the occurs often. It was an observational warning based upon conjecture and copious anecdotal evidence.
This leads to the question, of course, in that you cannot recall this happening to you during the last fifty years. The explanation, of course, is obvious. You've simply gone into shock at time and mercifully your mind has blocked your memories.
Either that, or 50 years of constipation?
Ravings en masse^ |
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"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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W∴ Balboos wrote: 50 years of constipation
That, fortunately, is one problem I do not suffer from.
As for memory problems, never! I have a memory like a whatchamacallem - one of those big grey things with trunks?
If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack.
--Winston Churchill
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5 sheets + 2 folds = no problems
"the debugger doesn't tell me anything because this code compiles just fine" - random QA comment
"Facebook is where you tell lies to your friends. Twitter is where you tell the truth to strangers." - chriselst
"I don't drink any more... then again, I don't drink any less." - Mike Mullikins uncle
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You mean ... you don't use the three seashells?
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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Alas, Laddie, I'm not of a sea-faring peoples.
We'd spend our time mulling over and ruing the consequences of have an shell slam closed most stubbornly on a sensitive area.
Have you give thought to trained crabs?
Ravings en masse^ |
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"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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Stop killing trees, Use a bidet !!!
I'd rather be phishing!
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Aside from the additional water consumption, you have to consider the consequences of a shot of ice-cold water on a winter's day.
A week-long sphincter lock does not sound appealing.
Ravings en masse^ |
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"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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W∴ Balboos wrote: Aside from the additional water consumption
Apparently, manufacturing a single roll of TP takes 1.5lb of wood, and 37 gallons of water...just how big a bidet were you planning on using?
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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