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Good morning to you!
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
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Wake up in the wrong bed, did we? 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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So did I.
I was next to the wife... 
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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OriginalGriff wrote: the wife....
What's the rest of the sentence. The wife of the neighbour? 
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the wife's kid sister?
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
-
I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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The wife of the elephant, obviously.
Pay more attention, in future.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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The bed was all right - it seems I went to the wrong work...
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
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Watch: Man demonstrates how to make deep-fried water - UPI.com[^]
WHY?!??!
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
The metaphorical solid rear-end expulsions have impacted the metaphorical motorized bladed rotating air movement mechanism.
Do questions with multiple question marks annoy you???
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Just throw some ice cubes into the deep fryer? 
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Brisingr Aerowing wrote: WHY?
He's trying to get the Scots to drink it...
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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Exactly what I was going to say, so you get a 5 for being as dumb as I am.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Woo Hoo!
I knew being a thick bugger would come in handy one day!
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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Why not? 
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Is there some part of "The San Francisco Stupid [expletive] No One Needs and Terrible Ideas Hackathon" that is not self-explanatory?
I am not a number. I am a ... no, wait!
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Well, what made him think to do it in the first place? How did he even come up with the idea?
And yes, I noticed the competition name, and looked at some of the entries. Man are there some bizarre ideas there.
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
The metaphorical solid rear-end expulsions have impacted the metaphorical motorized bladed rotating air movement mechanism.
Do questions with multiple question marks annoy you???
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If you decided to run barefoot through poison ivy, would that be a rash decision?
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Be like Griff - Original.
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How do you know it isn't in fact Griff's alter ego??? 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
-
The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
-
I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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Or one of my multiple personalities?
Nah...I don't have one personality, let alone several of them!
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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Dear members,
The complete six-headed administration of the Association for Schizophrenia will this year consist of: Griff.
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Just because I'm paranoid, doesn't mean I'm not out to get me!
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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Aaaagh! For the 30 millionth time, schizophrenia is not multiple personality disorder!  
I am not a number. I am a ... no, wait!
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I never said that it was.
If one of Griffs personalities is schizophrenic then it's perfectly plausible that he's a member of the Association for Schizophrenia and can also man the entire six-headed administration by himself.
I thought that would be clear as schizophrenia is not the same as multiple personality disorder, but apparently you didn't get it 
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