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Pap Peti was on his way to an ecumenical conference in Esztergom. As the train journey would be long his housekeeper had packed him a lovely picnic for the trip, the sun is shining over the pusta and all is wonderful in Mary's country.
Just before the train left, Kovacs Janos climbs sweating into the carriage and plops down in the seat opposite the priest. "Jo napot" [good day] is exchanged and both men settle back for the ride.
As the train gets going, Peti takes out the magnificent feast and spreads it on the seat beside him. There is ham, kolbasz, cheese, zsemle still warm from the bakery, fresh paprikas, tomatoes and three types of pickles. His dear housekeeper has even put in a nice, but not too expensive, bottle of wine. Everything for a wonderful meal is there except...
... Except there is nothing, not one thing, to cut the food with! How can he possibly eat without some sort of cutlery? He is a man of the cloth and cannot lower himself to eat like a commoner.
Noticing his distress, old Janos pulls out his trusted pocket knife. He opens the knife, wipes it on his trousers and proffers it to the priest.
At last Peti can enjoy his food and it certainly tastes as good as it looked. He dines and sips upon his wine, enjoying his feast but not once does he offer so much as crumb to the peasant in front of him.
On finishing, Peti returns the knife Janos and at least offers some thanks. He comments how sharp and well maintained it is!
"Thank you," says Janos, "It is the knife I use for castrating the bull-calves."
veni bibi saltavi
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Nagyon magyar.
[Very Hungarian.]
Life is too shor
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Curse a gnome, sage & onion pie.
veni bibi saltavi
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Probiotic goat extract (10)
BUTTERMILK
I am not a number. I am a ... no, wait!
modified 13-Apr-16 9:21am.
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baconfoods
Life is too shor
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The rasher the answer, the wronger it is!
I am not a number. I am a ... no, wait!
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MOZZARELLA?
(Assuming you can get Goat's Milk Mozzarella instead of the usual Buffalo?)
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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No goat has ever contributed to Mozzarella as far as I know but you're way closer than the other answerer.
I am not a number. I am a ... no, wait!
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I am appalled to discover that the EU classification does not stipulate the type of milk required (really, what is the fricking point of a Traditional Specialities Guarantee that doesn't actually guarantee the tradition at all - my referendum vote swings ever further!) so it would appear that you are correct. Still not the right answer though.
I am not a number. I am a ... no, wait!
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I get the feeling you are going to be up again tomorrow!
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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I get that feeling every time I post one! 
I am not a number. I am a ... no, wait!
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Maybe you overcomplicate them?
Oh well, that's your four hours! So what was the answer?
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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So do we!
Life is too shor
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You're concentrating on the wrong part of the process!
I am not a number. I am a ... no, wait!
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Totally forgot, that's my turn yesterday...Sorry!
ax2=bca (7)
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
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Algebra?
[I think this was used before]
veni bibi saltavi
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I do not know about before - do not remember...
In any case - you are up for tomorrow 
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
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Isn't that something a mermaid would wear?
"I had the right to remain silent, but I didn't have the ability!"
Ron White, Comedian
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xkcd: Algorithms[^]
Got me thinking: What's the worst example of misuse of a spreadsheet you've seen?
Mine was a spreadsheet being used for production management: it clearly started small as a simple stock level check, but evolved to end up including:
InventoryAssembly instructionsSubassembly instructionsPurchasingResource management (including human assemblers and their holiday requirements)Project CostingInvoicing.Remember: this was a spreadsheet, and it was all done with cell functions, no macros or VBScript...it took around 45 minutes to open each day... 
But it worked! So it didn't get replaced, just added to.
Tim: This was all your fault! 
What's yours?
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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I have seen a lot big companies fron the "inside", and you cannot even begin to imagine what is handled using excel sheets.
To me, the fact that it is so easy to program is partially responsible for the big mess. Making everybody to a potential sw developer was not the best idea.
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I have 2, the first one was for a car distributor in Oz, I did their entire cashflow projection in excel. Pulling data from a myriad of sheets, an AS400 and a bank feed. When I told the MD I had failed to get an accurate figure as it was about $200k out he was delighted, they had never got closer than $500k.
The second was a contract for a financial org as in finance supplier not a bank. Their entire operation was run on spreadsheets, no database, nothing. I spent a day looking into the mess and rejected the contract. 2 years later they went tits up owing millions to joe public.
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity
RAH
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A project management system spanning twenty or so files and hundreds of tabs, all with cross references and formulas and "special solutions".
When the guy that managed it went into pension the whole house of cards fell apart and the company barely survived.
I was luckily not involved.
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I have before received the following
a. Premium rating engine
b. Project specification including diagrams.
Every day, thousands of innocent plants are killed by vegetarians.
Help end the violence EAT BACON
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