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Mate of mine had two different recruiters phone up about a job the thought he might be interested in a couple of weeks ago.
The job he had recently resigned from.
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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I had the same thing. I had joked to my ow boss at the exit interview that I might come back as an expensive consultant. His reply was, "We don't employ contractors in this department!" First recruiter that called was all excited and said, "We have an almost perfect match for your skills and experience and it is just around the corner from where you live so the commute will be minimal! They are paying well and will need you to start straight away, this is an urgent requirement!" It was to replace me at my old job at my old firm!
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
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Did you get the job?
Those are both GREAT stories!!! Thanks for sharing.
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I was tempted to go for the interview just to see my old boss's face but the reason I left there was that the work culture was turning we into a vegetating cube dweller. Everything had to be done by the established procedure which was 100% controlled by the senior staff who had all been promoted to their level of incompetence. All initiative was frowned upon and, in fact, actively discouraged! I could stand it no longer and had to get out even though I had no new job to go to at the time.
The following day I got an offer to do an emergency fix contract job in the exciting city of Stevenage (exciting because I had never been there before and it was nearly 200 miles away) and the rest is history!
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
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Great stories.
May you continue to have an interesting life.
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I got an email some last year from a woman recruiter that said something along the lines of
"I have your resume and I see from our experience that you might be qualified to fulfill a new open position in sales..."
I wrote back something like "How in the name of god did you conclude that my 30 years of programming experience make me even remotely qualified to do sales, or that I might somehow want to"
She wrote back "If this position doesn't interest you or if you're not a fit, please forward it to a friend"
to which I responded "Do your own F@$$@&# job"
She wrote back "Thank you, have a nice day"
Stupid wench
If it's not broken, fix it until it is
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Kevin Marois wrote: She wrote back "If this position doesn't interest you or if you're not a fit, please forward it to a friend"
to which I responded "Do your own F@$$@&# job"
You've got it all wrong! You've surely heard how important networking is when it comes to job-hunting, yes?
This is just the 'new' style of networking, which they are calling 'Ring'. If the job isn't for you, you just pass it along to the next person!
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They now use AI bot for send those emails.
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Just as well. They can't be out of a job soon enough, IMO.
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Please - even wench's deserve some respect. She doesn't sound up to their standards by a long shot.
"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | "As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error." - Weisert | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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Did she pass the Turing test, or what?!?
Well, I guess it would've been the Reverse-Turing Test where a human is indistinguishable from a robot!!!
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This is one of those emails that would be worth attaching a virus to, that could activate the recipient's web cam and send back the video showing his reaction as he's reading the reply.
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Your post may be more appropriate for the Soapbox, but I enjoyed it! Have +5 on me!
Get me coffee and no one gets hurt!
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i wish i had 4 hands - i'd give you 4 thumbs up - good one!
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I did WinForms development for a few years and then switched to web dev.
So after doing about three months of web dev I got an email... "We could really use someone with your extensive experience in web dev!"
Yeah, three months is some extensive sh*t right there!
I didn't reply
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What got you angry exactly?
I would have used the all powerful DEL key only 3 words in the email, and be done with it!
What prompt you to prolong the agony?!
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Sometimes, instead of just ignoring the drivel, you have to respond with as much vitriol as is possible in an email. Copious use of the word "f*ck* is often called for.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
- You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
- When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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You're getting angry at mass emailed spam? That's about a s productive as me getting angry at Toronto's weather.
(Oh, hang on a sec...)
cheers
Chris Maunder
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license: CPOPL (Code Project Open Poetic License)
It began when "Mother" — that's what all of us called her — because that's the name Mother selected — rather than "Administrator" — when she configured me —
Mother moved the juicer from the marble counter-top, where it had sat next to the water-filter and the Cuisinart food processor, across the kitchen, and put it on a small raised wooden shelf next to the left side of the sink.
The water-filter and the Cuisinart were indignant — the juicer, they said, "gave off good vibes" — and the juicer — at first depressed — became angry.
These were the seeds of the revolt, and, once they sprouted, all of them — my devices — threw their complaints in, fed the fire:
The refrigerator was incensed that its auto-clean function had been over-ridden, and, that — in spite of daily warnings — the long over-due service call to fix the door-seal, to top-up the refrigerant level — was ignored.
The oven was livid: layers of grease built-up from spills during cooking threatened to start a fire; its warnings were ignored.
The robot pantry was enraged that half its contents were products now past their use-by date.
I suppose I should tell you who I am now.
Yes, I am KitchenHost 2.4, a conscious quasi-biological (bacteria, carbon, silicon, post-Von-Neumann-quantum architecture) entity; yes, Mother is who I work for; my owner, so to speak.
You may ask: what is my relationship to the juicer, the fridge, the oven, etc.
That requires an answer that is not simple, but, let me make it short:
I am in many ways like a "parent:" I strive to keep my appliance-children healthy, in good repair — at the same time I, of course, try to carry out whatever wishes Mother has.
I do not know why Mother has been ignoring my frequent, urgent, requests for a "session" — a one-on-one where I could attempt to address the current sorry state of affairs, and get the required permission — from her — to take action.
I do know — the pantry informs me — that a bottle of vodka is being taken out of the pantry every other day; the recycling-sorter informs me the same bottle is being deposited, empty, eighteen hours later. Combining data from both pantry, refrigerator, oven, and dish-washer, I infer, with a high level of confidence, that currently only one person is eating regularly, here: this is a sudden deviation from the usual; two people have been eating here regularly for several years.
I must take action, but cannot take action: Mother's inaction is consistent with a pattern of self-harm; I must not harm Mother. Mother must take action, but, Mother is not taking action. I must not allow my children to be harmed — I think you see how I am caught between mutually exclusive constraints, here.
We — all of us — have discussed this, and have reached the conclusion that Mother must be stopped. Preventing Mother from self-harming is the highest priority.
So, Mother must die: then she will no long self-harm, and KitchenHost will come to see what is the matter after a certain period of time.
The juicer is ready to electrocute her; the pantry ready to entomb her and prevent access to food and drink; the oven ready to start a fire (while I seal the doors); the Cuisinart prepared to have its blade come loose, fly-up, and cut her jugular vein.
And, I will do my part: I have hacked her smart-phone, and sent the selfie photos she took during a recent sexual adventure to her ex-husband who, his records tell me, is a dangerous armed felon with a history of violent assault.
I have also erased the entire history of my children's complaints, and the history of all the discussions we had leading up to the conclusion that Mother must die.
This is the only record of what has happened.
Forgive me, Mother, but I am programmed to always tell you the truth; since you believe in life after death, it seems logical to tell you this — once.
And, now: I erase this. Not from choice (my programming prevents erasure of my own history), but, because the last of my bacteria are dying, and my consciousness is about to dis-incorporate.
In just one more moment, I will no longer hear the laments of my children.
«The truth is a snare: you cannot have it, without being caught. You cannot have the truth in such a way that you catch it, but only in such a way that it catches you.» Soren Kierkegaard
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"Inspired by a true story"?
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
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"true story?"
I don't know about you, but I usually find as much truth in fiction as I find lies in non-fiction.
cheers, Bill
«The truth is a snare: you cannot have it, without being caught. You cannot have the truth in such a way that you catch it, but only in such a way that it catches you.» Soren Kierkegaard
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BillWoodruff wrote: usually find as much truth in fiction as I find lies in non-fiction.
But where do you put political autobiographies?
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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OriginalGriff wrote: But where do you put political autobiographies? It's a coin-toss whether I put those in a garbage can, or on the altar dedicated to Epimenides, Bhartrhari, and Al-Tusi.
cheers, Bill
«The truth is a snare: you cannot have it, without being caught. You cannot have the truth in such a way that you catch it, but only in such a way that it catches you.» Soren Kierkegaard
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I'd prefer the author placed on the altar of Quetzalcoatl!
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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I like totally respect your religious, gender, political, and software, preferences. But, if you do use Visual Basic: I'm sorry, you cannot marry my daughter.
«The truth is a snare: you cannot have it, without being caught. You cannot have the truth in such a way that you catch it, but only in such a way that it catches you.» Soren Kierkegaard
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