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There is turmoil in the world of Drunk Tennis Watchers as it was announced this morning that former world number one Maria 'Elephant' Sharapova[^] has revealed she failed a drugs test at the Australian Open. Asked for a comment our correspondent said "FAARRRKKKK!!!!!".
veni bibi saltavi
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It does seem odd that she would be taking a heart medication for ten years while competing at the top level of a physically demanding international sport...
But surely the "increase in endurance performance of athletes" and suchlike the Wiki page talks about had nothing to do with her medication: Meldonium - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia[^]
And I am a little surprised that she didn't know, given that it's been on the WADA "monitored" drug list for nearly a year now!
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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I'm more surprised her "doctor" didn't know.
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And her trainer, her PA, her ... the list goes on...
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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About 5 years ago it was agreed that the "I didn't know" defence was not valid. The WADA list is nasty, everything is qualified with [...] and similar compounds to prevent the stupid state we have with 'legal highs'. Every athlete competing in any affiliated sport is liable to testing by WADA and its associated agencies and it is the athlete's responsibility to ensure that they are not taking anything that has been banned.
There are a lot of over the counter medicines that are banned; tough titties to any athlete who uses them. Any and every compound needing a prescription should be double checked.
veni bibi saltavi
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Yep. And her PA (who arranges the fights, visas etc. that an international player is going to need lots of) would have to know to avoid any problems with carrying her prescription medications over an international border.
I know this: Herself takes a morphine derivative every day (for her arthritis) and if we don't declare it and sort it all out well in advance then drugs dogs start to get very interested and jail sentences loom large on the horizon! 
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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In a couple of months I'm going to have to try to get my wife through airport security for the first time since she had a large metal bar inserted into her arm.
I think I'll go with the same distraction technique I used last time, take my belt off and then my shorts fall down as I walk through the scanners.
I think I may have told this story before, but my dad used to be reasonably senior in HM Customs & Excise. On his way back through Birmingham after a holiday one year he was given a package of cannabis by a colleague when he landed to carry through as a test for the dogs. The dogs sniffed him out, they had a good chat about what a successful test it had been, what a nice holiday he had had, then when he got home he realised he had forgotten to give them the drugs back.
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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I've had a large lump of metal holding my right solder together for over fifteen years, and it always makes metal detectors fun!
They are used to it though - they just bring out a wand and scan carefully with that.
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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Motorbike related by any chance ? I don't have a metal plate but I do have a very large lump on my collarbone and the distance from ear to end of shoulder is noticeable in photos
We can’t stop here, this is bat country - Hunter S Thompson RIP
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Oh yes. Dropped a Ducati the shop had loaded me while my Guzzi was in for a service... :ouch: 
Ended up with a frozen shoulder as a result of the op to put it all back together.
Annoying part was it happened at about 10 mph (my own fault, I was used to Guzzi linked brakes and hit the back brake too hard) - just landed wrong and busted myself up a bit.
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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chrislst: when he got home he realised he had forgotten to give them the drugs back.
How much did he get for them? 
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OriginalGriff wrote: And I am a little surprised that she didn't know
Russian!!!!
I am not a number. I am a ... no, wait!
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Discussions about Maria 'Elephant' Sharapova should be in the Soapbox 
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
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Only if pictures are attached / linked 
If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack.
--Winston Churchill
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I thought the problem was with video that had sound attached.
Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, waging all things in the balance of reason?
Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful?
--Zachris Topelius
Training a telescope on one’s own belly button will only reveal lint. You like that? You go right on staring at it. I prefer looking at galaxies.
-- Sarah Hoyt
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I think Serena Williams would have failed too but she was unable to give a sample as she couldn't fit her c0ck into the bottle.
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Ah bliss, peace and quiet for the next couple of years. I agree with MM, should have been introduced to the elephant!
As OG asked, why has an elite athlete been taking these for 10 years if not the enhance performance!
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity
RAH
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Whose turn is it today ?
We can’t stop here, this is bat country - Hunter S Thompson RIP
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It's 9082365's turn: @User-9037617
He set the one that Nagy answered before Nagy missed his three strikes: The Lounge - CodeProject[^] so the rules say it's his turn again.
(That's why I put that rule in there, so if the setter gets too obtuse for everybody, we have a mechanism for replacing him / her)
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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Obtuse? En?
veni bibi saltavi
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Aflem, chi!
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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Even reading that my mouth fills with flem...
veni bibi saltavi
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@User-90376177 should do today...
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
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++++++++ [>++++ [>++>+++>+++>+<<<<-] >+>+>->>+ ++++++++ [<] <-] >>.>---. +++++++..+++.>>. <-.<.+++. ------.--------. >>+. >++. <-.<.+++. >>+. ++++++++ (8, 8)
And this is for more readability...
++++++++
[>++++
[>++>+++>+++>+<<<<-]
>+>+>->>+
++++++++
[<]
<-]
>>.>---.
+++++++..+++.>>.
<-.<.+++.
------.--------.
>>+.
>++.
<-.<.+++.
>>+.
++++++++
(8, 8)
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
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