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The Professor is in his laboratory putting his hypothesis to the final test. His subject,
Ctenocephalides canis (dog flea), there on the microscope stage, before him as he peers
down the 3.5 macular objective ... In his notebook he takes notes on observed behavior.
He makes a scribble "Day 01, subject cC_01, have observed reticence in previous subjects
to respond to my command after six tests have been conducted. Assert/confirm/advise/conclude."
He goes on, on a new line.
"Today cC_02 ... full battery ... Experiment begin Ti:09:21:00"
The test subject has been fastened to the stage floor by a hair tether and two drops of
crazy glue. This is to locate him in less grandiose motion patterns while the experiment
ensues. Reaching onto the stage with two forceps, one in each hand, the Dr. grasps the
abdomen of cC_02 with the left and the right forelimb with the right ... and slowly pulls
the right forelimb off of the subject.
"Jump flea!" he says to the insect. And the flea jumps. The Dr. marks down in his
notebook:
- test 01 ... loss of right forelimb results in no loss of ability to perform command.
Subject jumps. -
The experiment continues. The Dr. now again grabs the abdomen of cc_02 with his left
forcep and proceeds to grasp the middle leg of the right side of the subject and
gently pulls the entire leg off then lowers his head close to the stage and says "Jump
flea!" And the flea jumps. He makes a mark in his notebook:
- test 02 ... loss of thoracic leg right results in no loss of ability to perform
command. Subject jumps. -
The experiment continues. This time the Dr. with his left forcep again grasps
the flea but this time by the pronotum of the thorax and with his other forcep grasps the
rear right leg and gives it a tug so as to completely dissarticulate the coxa removing it
entirely from the thorax, then commands the flea to jump. "Jump flea!" And
the flea jumps. The Dr. marks down in his notebook:
-test 03 ... loss of right rear leg results in absolutely no change in behavior and the
subject obeys the command. Subject Jumps. -
And the experiment continues to the left side. The Dr. takes the left forelimb of the
flea into his left forcep and grasps the abdomen again with the right forcep and gives
the leg a yank removing it from the now only two-limbed flea. He lowers his head close to
the stage and says "Jump flea"! And the flea still jumps. The Dr. marks down
in his notebook:
-test 04 ... loss of left thoracic forelimb results in no change in behavior. Subject
responds to command to jump with positive jump twitch. Subject jumps. -
Continuing, to the second-to-last remaining limb, the left middle appendage, the Dr.
grasps it with his left forcep and quickly snatches it from the thorax. He lowers his
head and speaks to the flea "Jump flea!" And the flea jumps. He writes down in his
notebook:
-test 05 ... loss of left middle thoracic appendage results in no change in behavior.
Subject responds to command to jump. Subject jumps. -
Finally, the last test in the battery. The Dr. is primed to finish and knows with only
one more limb available, this is it, experimentally. So, he grasps the remaining limb,
the left rear leg with his left forcep and goes back to grasping the elytra of the thorax
with his right forcep, and seperates the leg from the insect. He leans in to the stage
and issues the final command "Jump flea!" And the flea just sits there. The Dr. marks
down in his notebook:
-test 06 ... loss of left rear leg results in marked change in Ctenocephalides canis
cC_02 behavior. Subject does not repsond to command to jump. -
The doctor jots down a few page width slashes and scribbles on a new line under a another
new line entitled "Experimental conclusions":
"End experiment T0:10:00:00"
"Scientific method applied to subject with respect to elliciting behaviors through
issuance of verbal commands at microscope stage height of little variance results in
skewed test result, the induction of which lead this experimenter to make a singlar
conclusion about the jumping observed in Ctenocephalides canis (dog flea):
When all limbs from Ctenocephalides canis have been removed, subject goes completey
deaf."
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Was this a joke?
If it's not broken, fix it until it is
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No. This is proof that a flea's ear is on it's left rear leg.
Within you lies the power for good - Use it!
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Congratulations. You just wrote all that simply to show that the deductive method used in science is often wrong.
Marc
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Besides that, I first heard that joke in 1964 or so, about a frog, and it was much shorter and funnier.
Will Rogers never met me.
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I think all frogs are both shorter and funnier than all dogs. 
I, too, probably heard it around that time - but it was the sixties, so who remembers?
(I was also 5 years old)
PooperPig - Coming Soon
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I was ten, so I remember clearly. And my teacher, Mrs. Lute, wasn't nearly as hot as my 5th grade teacher, but she was awfully nice, and gave me my first tropical fish to put in the aquarium my parent bought me that year for Christmas. They were delicious.
Will Rogers never met me.
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Maxxx wrote: I think all frogs are both shorter and funnier than all dogs.
Then you think wrong. The goliath frog grows to lengths of 12" while chihuahuas can be up to (no wait .. down to) 6" nose to tail.
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D'you know, when I write that, I thought "I bet some twonk goes and looks up the biggest frog and smallest dog ..."
PooperPig - Coming Soon
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Always a pleasure, never a chore! 
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Too much spare time we have...
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
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Now that was funny! 
You have just been Sharapova'd.
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Thumbs up for number 1 alone!
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First Time using new software
Hmm. Expect there's a keyboard shortcut for that. Wonder what it is. Better look it up .. it could come in handy further on down the track. Er ... Help ... keyboard shortcuts .. um ... ah right. CTL + ALT + End + f3. Should be easy enough . If I can just dislocate my, right pinky. Aha! No problem! Good lord, is that the time?
Second Time
Ah yes, there's a keyboard shortcut for that. It's ... er ... CTL + DEL + f3 .. isn't it? No ... maybe that should be ALT or ALT + CTL or ... damn ... have to look it up again. What's the shortcut for Help again?
Third (and all subsequent) Time
I love you, mouse!!!
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Addition: As of Windows 8 and onwards you can capture a screenshot without having to paste it on Paint to save it by pressing Windows Key and PrtScr.  I always use it, that information was just outdated otherwise a great resource.
The sh*t I complain about
It's like there ain't a cloud in the sky and it's raining out - Eminem
~! Firewall !~
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I take it you haven't heard of the snipping tool within Windows?
“That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”
― Christopher Hitchens
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Heard, used, ditched for Win + PrtScr.
The sh*t I complain about
It's like there ain't a cloud in the sky and it's raining out - Eminem
~! Firewall !~
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Afzaal Ahmad Zeeshan wrote: Heard, used, ditched for Win + PrtScr
"Windows + PrintScreen" is nice but it can't possibly replace the snipping tool.
You have just been Sharapova'd.
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Depends on your needs, of course if you want to edit the image (like draw something over it, highlight a few things) and then save it, snipping tool is for you. But, for ones like me, who want to just save entire screen for a later use (like I had a trouble creating a new Windows Store Developer account, so I saved the screenshots for later use), Win + PrtScr is a great feature in Metro! 
The sh*t I complain about
It's like there ain't a cloud in the sky and it's raining out - Eminem
~! Firewall !~
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Just tried it : Where is the screenshot saved ? OK, /images/screenshot. Easy one 
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But where does it get saved?
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Right under the Pictures gallery on your machine, a new folder named "Screenshots" is created that holds the screenshots that are captured by Win + PrtScr.
The sh*t I complain about
It's like there ain't a cloud in the sky and it's raining out - Eminem
~! Firewall !~
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