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It's a strange thing this modern world, there are plenty of people I am 'friends' with on Facebook who I have never met, but some I consider to be friends in the real sense of the word. Steve Tickle was very much one of those, we talked about anything and everything online, I liked him a lot and he was a very good guy. Totally shocked to hear this evening that he has died, although perhaps fitting that I heard about his death on Facebook.
I shall miss him, that man I've never met. My thoughts are with his daughters and those who cared for him.
I've actually known him in an online sense for quite a few years before Facebook. We share a common interest, and he only lived around 15 miles from me. Nearly met a number of times, but on such occasions that could have brought us together one or the other couldn't make it. Absolutely gutted now that we never will.
Do you think it is odd to go to the funeral of someone you've never met?
It's a strange thing this modern world.
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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chriselst wrote: Do you think it is odd to go to the funeral of someone you've never met?
Not at all; physically "meeting" is overrated. There are a lot of faces that I see daily on my commute to work, but most of them remain strangers. There's people on CodeProject that I know 'better' then the ones that I meet daily yet don't talk to.
The communication is real, regardless of the medium. Communication is the basis for a human relation. If you need proof, simply go to a bad movie and see some women cry. The medium that transfers the story is real enough - even if the events would be fictional. Once you become part of the story, it helps to be able to close the book respectfully.
Bastard Programmer from Hell 
If you can't read my code, try converting it here[^]
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Eddy Vluggen wrote: Not at all; physically "meeting" is overrated.
Beg to differ man. You never really know a person until you hang out with them on a regular basis. Even words are only 30% of communication, the rest is attitude, energy, body language, etc. The point being, I can post about my life all day long, but that falls very short to one of you guys actually going out clubbing or whatever with me for instance to see just who I really am behind the veil of the Internet.
Jeremy Falcon
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I'm chiming in with Jeremy on this one.
I know you better after 60 seconds of face to face interaction than I would after years of online communication.
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mikepwilson wrote: I know you better after 60 seconds of face to face interaction than I would after years of online communication.
... then I thank my lucky stars that I only know some people through the keyboard.
I'm retired. There's a nap for that...
- Harvey
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Ditto - and well said.
Government is not reason; it is not eloquent; it is force. Like fire, it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master. ~ George Washington
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Jeremy Falcon wrote: You never really know a person until you hang out with them on a regular basis.
There are persons I knew intimately but never "really knew". I hang out daily with some smokers from a different department for 15 minutes, three times a day.
Do I really need to get to know them all in each possible way before I can admit that there is or has been an emotional bond? I consider my neighbours friends; they're too old for clubbing, and I hardly know them, but they feed me pastry and coffee.
Jeremy Falcon wrote: that falls very short to one of you guys actually going out clubbing or whatever
with me for instance to see just who I really am behind the veil of the Internet
The only way we go clubbing is when we'd be dating, which is not going to happen. And even when drunk, part of the veil remains - it's what sets us apart from animals.
Bastard Programmer from Hell
If you can't read my code, try converting it here[^]
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Eddy Vluggen wrote: Do I really need to get to know them all in each possible way before I can admit that there is or has been an emotional bond? I consider my neighbours friends; they're too old for clubbing, and I hardly know them, but they feed me pastry and coffee.
That's nothing to do with the point. I'm saying you cannot really get to know a person unless you hang out with them offline. You said it's overrated I say it's not. I do agree you can get to know someone online, and you can not know someone offline. Nobody is arguing that. I'm saying you cannot *really* know a person until you meet them offline.
Eddy Vluggen wrote: And even when drunk, part of the veil remains - it's what sets us apart from animals.
True, but by and large, the Internet tends to host people with a lot more social issues and thus bigger veils than most mediums we've seen in recent history. Not to mention that fake veil is a lot easier to spot in person than online. Sure, people still have one offline, but like I said online peeps are always more "bad ass", whatever etc. in their persona than they are in real life.
Jeremy Falcon
modified 12-Nov-14 18:34pm.
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chriselst wrote: I've actually known him in an online sense for quite a few years before Facebook. We share a common interest, and he only lived around 15 miles from me.
Sorry to hear this. Hope his fam does well. Gotta say though, man if you've known this guy for YEARS and he only lived a few miles away, you need to get out more. Good friends are hard to find man, and there's more to life than a computer.
That being said, there are a few online folks I'd like to meet that I never have, and it would suck to hear of their demise. CG comes to mind. I'm sure he'll kick the bucket on an airplane or surfing his slow Internet connection one day. Marc Clifton and Maunder too. But they all live in far, far away magical places called Not Louisiana.
Jeremy Falcon
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Go. Share your (online) life experiences with and of Steve.
Share how much you now yearn for the chance to meet him, though not in this life anymore, and of how others present should be with joy of having met and known him.
For, it sounds like he'd do the same for you.
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Nothing odd about it at all.
I had a similar situation with a blogger, about 7 years ago. He'd gotten double lung transplants (after years of waiting) and.. well... like I said, it's a similar situation. He was sadly too distant. But I met up with a bunch of friends of his some time later in the city for a pint in his honor.
But it makes perfect sense to me.
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chriselst wrote: Do you think it is odd to go to the funeral of someone you've never met?
Not if there is a rich widow involved. 
(I prefer not to go to any funerals anyway.)
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It's another strange thing, but some of my favourite times have been at funerals, or more specifically wakes I suppose.
A group of people gathered together because of their love or affection for one person and sharing memories of good times.
Still best not to have to go to one, but the older you get the more there are.
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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chriselst wrote: the older you get the more there are.
Ah, there's a built-in escape clause. 
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That's how you win at life, by going to more funerals than your mates.
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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chriselst wrote: Do you think it is odd to go to the funeral of someone you've never met?
No.
![Rose | [Rose]](https://codeproject.global.ssl.fastly.net/script/Forums/Images/rose.gif)
What we got here is a failure to communicate
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chriselst wrote: Do you think it is odd to go to the funeral of someone you've never met?
Not at all.
Wrong is evil and must be defeated. - Jeff Ello
Any organization is like a tree full of monkeys. The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces. The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes.
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I've had several online friends whose funerals I would've gone to if they were within driving distance instead of cross country flights.
Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, waging all things in the balance of reason?
Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful?
--Zachris Topelius
Training a telescope on one’s own belly button will only reveal lint. You like that? You go right on staring at it. I prefer looking at galaxies.
-- Sarah Hoyt
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Why are you talking to me?
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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chriselst wrote: Do you think it is odd to go to the funeral of someone you've never met?
Not in the slightest. If you feel like you should be there, go; it's more comfort to the family to see one more person show up, even if they don't know who you are. They'd be more likely to complain if they do know you and don't like you, than if they don't know you at all.
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If you don't go, someday you will regret.
In code we trust !
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chriselst wrote: Do you think it is odd to go to the funeral of someone you've never met?
If people ask, just say you met online and started a relationship.
seriously,
If people ask, just say you knew him and have good memories of him.
I'd rather be phishing!
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Maximilien wrote: If people ask, just say you met online and started a relationship.
I actually know in person quite a few people who will be there. We mostly met online through a shared interest, some I have met a few times, some I see almost weekly, some I have never met at all.
He was supposed to be going somewhere with a friend of his, didn't show, they went round, got no answer, called his daughter who came and opened up, found him dead in his bed. He was 59.
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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chriselst wrote: Do you think it is odd to go to the funeral of someone you've never met?
IMHO, if their family does not incur much additional expense because of one additional person (you) attending the funeral, then it is OK to go.
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Brian Harry, CVP in charge of ALM and VSO at Microsoft, will be making some announcements today regarding Visual Studio Online and Team Foundation Server at Connect();, Microsoft's Visual Studio event, which is currently streaming live[^] from NYC.
Brian will join us later today at 5pm EST to discuss the announcements and to take part in a live Question/Answer period with CodeProject members happening in this article[^].
Post your questions or join us for a live chat later today if you can make it!
Kevin Priddle
Editor and Special Projects Manager - CodeProject
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