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For decades we have been lured by their harmless appearance and thus allowed them to infiltrate our homes. Now a takeover is very close at hand.
Underneath the lawns and gardens of the world, they have constructed huge facilities for weaponry and advanced training. At least 95% of all unexplained violent deaths worldwide are in fact the works of Gnome stormtroopers evaluating weapons and tactics. The United Nations, Nato and The World Bank are completely under Gnome control at this point. Also the global warming problem is the work of Gnomes. Gnomes are resilient to climate changes. They secretly burn vast amounts of crude oil and chemicals in remote locations throughout the world in order to ruin human health. This also explains the oil shortage.
The economy crisis, the conflicts in the Middle East, the Russian military rearmament e.t.c., are merely cover-ups constructed by the Gnomes in order to distract the world's attention from their sinister plan. Garden Gnomes will be the end of life as we know it unless we take immediate action!
SPREAD THE WORD! GARDEN GNOMES ARE EVIL AND MUST BE STOPPED AT ALL COSTS!
[OT - No, I've not hardly been drinking]
speramus in juniperus
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Surely this is an Elf and Safety matter.
---------------------------------
Obscurum per obscurius.
Ad astra per alas porci.
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur .
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I understand that trolls eat gnomes -- we need more trolls. 
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This is the most rediculous claim I have ever seen... global warming? Surely you jest.
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Nagy Vilmos wrote: global warming
If I knew how I would report the post as being in the wrong forum. 
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Are you sober again? 
Every day, thousands of innocent plants are killed by vegetarians.
Help end the violence EAT BACON
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Guess... ![Beer | [beer]](https://codeproject.global.ssl.fastly.net/script/Forums/Images/beer.gif)
speramus in juniperus
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Sorry to break the news to you, but we've known this for years. Two of our "exposed" gnomes here[^] and here.[^] 
Marc
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Oh sh*t! I think I have to go hide.
Or at least change my profile picture.
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Nonsense. They're not evil, they just have a bad attitude.
I know this because Larry Correia wrote about it and he's a Mormon, so you know he's telling the truth.
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Install KDE!
Getting my coat...
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Traded my Sony Xperia Tablet[^] which I mainly used for reading for her Hp G62 laptop[^] that needs a battery which I ordered and will be here today.
My son got a Nexus tablet the other day and my daughter-in-law was talking about getting one so I suggested we trade devices and she snapped at the idea. I really liked my tabled but used it mainly for reading and connection to net when visiting kids and now with the laptop I can actually work when I'm away although it is heavy.
My main purpose for doing this is that I can download and process photos while traveling which I intend on doing more of this year. Going to Puerto Rico for 5 days in April and possibly a month tour of National Parks in the spring.
[edit]
Do we have any CPians in Puerto Rico?
[/edit]
modified 14-Jan-14 10:23am.
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Herself has just been sent an unsolicited Faecal Occult Blood Test kit, as part of the NHS Bowel Cancer Screening Programme. Fine...but...well, you have to send three days worth of "samples" to the lab in a packet. Now, it's not a complete sample, you understand - just a smear each day I think - but...when you sit there in your warm / air conditioned office, on your comfy chair, with your mug of Coffee, in front of your computer and complain that your job is cr@p: Think about the postman who has to deliver these things by the van full... 
Never underestimate the power of stupid things in large numbers
--- Serious Sam
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If I ever pulled of the great train robbery MKII, it would be just my luck that the 30 mail bags I stole all contained those.
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That postman's job is joy, unadulterated joy, compared to the poor sap who has to open the mail.
speramus in juniperus
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He's probably given special clothing because of Elf and Softy rules.
Never underestimate the power of stupid things in large numbers
--- Serious Sam
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But... that would be contrary to the 1953 Postal Act: "Sending of a Deleterious Substance" ...
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No it wouldn't, the 1953 act was repealed[^].
speramus in juniperus
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Well what was it replaced with? Anyway, it was in force at the time.... ahem...
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I sent in my FOBT last year. Thankfully the results were negative. Never hurts to be proactive when it comes to one's health.
/ravi
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What's with the Occult bit?
Is there some sort of ritual involved
“That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”
― Christopher Hitchens
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Do I want to know? No.
But...http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/occult[^]It's the second meaning:
"Medicine (of a disease or process) not accompanied by readily discernible signs or symptoms:
careful palpation sometimes discloses occult spina bifida
(of blood) abnormally present, e.g. in faeces, but detectable only chemically or microscopically."
Never underestimate the power of stupid things in large numbers
--- Serious Sam
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Was wondering if anyone has heard of it?
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It's all a House of Cards[^] isn't it?
Never underestimate the power of stupid things in large numbers
--- Serious Sam
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I saw that series and was absolutely sure our project management team attended the same schools.
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