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Steve Naidamast wrote: It always amazes me how tech-geniuses on television can do anything with any database they access, which apparently is every one of them in the world.
No kidding...I must be doing something terribly, terribly wrong, given how much of a hard time I sometimes have accessing a database running on a different machine within my own LAN, with full permissions...
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Well, I was rather a cynic once. But now I've combined all my beliefs into this phrase I've been circulating: "Religion is the most malevolent of all mind viruses." It's adapted from a phrase by the British writer and scientist Richard Dawkins, who said that religion was a mind virus, an idea that infected the mind. He said that not all mind-viruses are malignant; some may even be beneficial. But many are harmful—racist theories, for instance.
From an Interview with Arthur C. Clark. February 18, 2004, The Onion, Volume 40, Issue 07.
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I have learned to PRETEND they are smarter than I am! It is the only way to enjoy the show.
NCIS is notorious for this kind of stuff.
I loved the movie Hackers... Mostly because the de-emphasized the tech stuff, and focused on how hackers challenged each other, and how they shared, and why they did it. (And I did not even know who Angelina Jolie was when I saw the movie, that is how big of a geek I am). The scenes could be considered silly.
BUT, I went there with an older couple who did not understand tech... And they liked the movie.
The problem is simple. If only about 2% of the population actually programs. And only 10% of those are generally the smart ones like we have here... Then how much work should the producers do to avoid turning off the 0.2% who could pick apart EVERY ASPECT? Enjoy the show, you are NOT supposed to be learning how to hack from the show!
Reminds me of a Star Trek (ST-TNG). There was an episode where they meet these people who can only communicate in comparison to historical events in their own culture. But they developed faster than light travel... I have a REALLY TOUGH TIME with that one. If your language is that cumbersome, how could you EVER describe the physics required? (Similar to Orwells NewSpeak Language used to limit thought by removing words and ergo concepts)...
In the end, it is like hating the smell of a rose because it has thorns...
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Ha! I was just saying the other night, "How is it that they still get everything with computers wrong when they include them in a plot on TV?" The best show to get annoyed at is CSI -- they have magic computers which can reproduce an entire crime scene, with criminals, victims and everything, all moving about and doing whatever they were supposed to have done, in 3D -- and the computers do it on demand. I wish I had something like that in my house. I'd use it to reconstruct the times when I'm beating off, watching the computers on CSI and wishing I had something like that in my house so I could use it to reconstruct the times when .... </recursive>
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So like what.. you want story to take a back seat to reality?
These days, all the science and technical stuff in American TV shows is pure fabrication made by people that barely know the buzz words. I guess this stuff is a technology so advanced that most people just think its magic and can do anything.
We can program with only 1's, but if all you've got are zeros, you've got nothing.
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In november I was raised in response to not leaving, given "counter-offer" a some of 20% more wages,, in this morning, was told start 2015 I started "Documentation role"
"As we are working to transition you to a documentation role starting in 2015, please start today working with colleagues to perform a proper hand-over of your remaining projects"
IS this sound for worrying?
The Jurassic period produced such an abundance of lethal predators, that the oceans were a virtual STEW OF ASSASSINS - The history channel
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No, it sounds like your employers have the exact measure of you.
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Yeah, but you'd think they'd put him in QA or something, not documentation!
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I don't know. It would explain a lot of documentation that I've seen,
It could also explain why nobody ever reads documentation?
Life is like a s**t sandwich; the more bread you have, the less s**t you eat.
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I can't find it but there's a Simpsons clip where Mr Burns promises to put Smithers where the action is and in the next scene you see him scrubbing the toilet floor with a toothbrush.
I'm not sure why I'm bringing this up
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How much of a notice did you give when you initially threatened to leave?
I ask this because with a very short notice perhaps the company gave you a raise so they could keep you around long enough for an orderly transfer of your projects. Go ahead and take the job with apparent unenlightened joy and immediately begin looking for new work.
I doubt they gave you 20% because they thought you'd be good at documentation.
The grain of salt with which you should balance my advice is how the company has treated people in the past.
Is it the kind of company that has rolled people before or would that be very unusual?
Is there a new management initiated push for documentation within the company?
Does the whole documentation thing sound like nonsense?
Do they typically hang onto the same employees for a very long time?
Did your 20% put you in the top 25% wage wise among developers or was the 20% raise given on a shamefully low initial wage thereby simply making you par with the other employees?
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That's good! You may learn how to write correctly punctuated and phrased sentences...
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
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The Real Answer
In business a shoe drops and all the little people try to figure out when the boss will drop the other shoe. They scurry around and wonder, "oh, bother, mightn't I be the one to catch the next shoe...mightn't I?"
Scurry, scurry, scurry.
The other shoe never drops. What!?! ***interrobang deployed***
Meanwhile, old Pointy-Hair hasn't even noticed he dropped his first shoe and is busy scratching himself, not even knowing there is another shoe.
CONCLUSIVE CONCLUSION DEVOID OF CONTUSIONS
They ain't got no plan and the plan they don't got ain't even formulated out of the very air of a verbal contract which ain't as good as the paper it ain't printed on.
Or more simply:
The people in charge are just sitting in chairs staring at nothing, deciding nothing and thinking nothing. They hasn't one idea between them all.
Your are thinking something, but they are not. It is impossible to decipher the non-existent.
Beatles Theory
Or as the Beatles so righteously put it:
Nowhere Man
He's a real nowhere man
Sitting in his nowhere land
Making all his nowhere plans for nobody
Doesn't have a point of view
Knows not where he's going to
Isn't he a bit like you and me?
Nowhere man please listen
You don't know what you're missing
Nowhere man, The world is at your command
He's as blind as he can be
Just sees what he wants to see
Nowhere man, can you see me at all
Nowhere man don't worry
Take your time, don't hurry
Leave it all till somebody else
Lends you a hand
Ah, la, la, la, la
Christmas Carol (Dickens) Theory
Here's what happens when an idea actually hits a manager's head.
S/he thinks:
"You [idea] may be an undigested bit of beef, a blot of mustard, a crumb of cheese, a fragment of an underdone potato. There's more of gravy than of grave [idea] about you, whatever you are!"
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The Jurassic period produced such an abundance of lethal predators, that the oceans were a virtual STEW OF ASSASSINS - The history channel
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Not sure if you should be worried but the readers of your documentation will surely have lots of reasons to worry !!
Thanks,
Milind
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you doing documentation scares the pants off me.
You getting a counter offer for 20% more from current employer and not getting anything in writing should scare the pants off you.
True story, co-worker many moons ago same thing. Offer 25% to stay. Brought on 'Intern' as a helper for him as well. Intern was soon promoted and 25% guy was making 125% less suddenly.
It happens. Always get things in writing.
To err is human to really mess up you need a computer
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Nareesh1 wrote: IS this sound for worrying? If the documentation is in English, then yes, I'm a bit bloody worried.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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to a Managerial role. Congrats!
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Is the documentation to be written in English, for English readers? Given the sample provided here, I don't think that it is those skills that are driving the change.
They're removing everything from your control, that may have made you indispensable.
It doesn't mean they'll definitely toss you out, it means that they very easily can, and probably will.
Or they'll forget all about how you held them for ransom, and keep paying a documentation writer well above market salary.
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I was attempting to get familiar with our file restoration software when I initiated a complete restoration of the department wide share drive. My intent was to restore a test directory that I'd deleted - instead of that I kicked off a restore of everything.
The first hint that something was wrong was when after 1 minute the process was at 5%.
I figured a single small directory should take seconds - I killed the job.
I then had to send out the department wide email confession my goof encouraging people to check and make sure they didn't loose data. No better way to start a Tuesday morning than a note from the director asking for ideas on how to make sure this never happens again.
The good news is that a review of the logs this morning shows that no files were actually impacted - the job was still initializing when it was canceled. Whew.
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For the full effect, start the test restore on a Friday lunchtime, and then knock off for a long weekend!
Remember to remove the battery from your cellphone...
[edit] typos - tablet autocorrect... [/edit]
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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Every once and awhile I get the impression, indistinct and faint as it may be, that you don't have my best interests at heart.
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No, no - it's a learning experience.
You'd even look back on it and laugh, a few years later.
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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OriginalGriff wrote: remove the battery from your cellphone.
Two of the best pieces of advice -- especially the latter -- of the whole year.
Way to think outside the box. This little button he clicked is like an extra day off every week.
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