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Quote: TOOLS EXPLAINED
DRILL PRESS :
A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.
WIRE WHEEL :
Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, 'Oh sh*t'
ANGLE GRINDER :
A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.
PLIERS :
Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.
BELT SANDER :
An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.
HACKSAW :
One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle... It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.
MOLE-GRIPS :
Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.
OXY-ACETYLENE TORCH :
Used almost entirely for setting on fire various flammable objects in your shop. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race..
TABLE SAW :
A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity.
HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK :
Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.
BAND SAW :
A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut good aluminum sheet into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash can after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge.
TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST :
A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of everything you forgot to disconnect.
PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER :
Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.
STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER :
A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms.
PRY BAR :
A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50p part.
HOSE CUTTER :
A tool used to make hoses too short.
HAMMER :
Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object we are trying to hit.
STANLEY KNIFE :
Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use.
ADJUSTABLE SPANNER:
aka "Another hammer", aka "the Swedish Nut Lathe", aka "Crescent Wrench". Commonly used as a one size fits all wrench, usually results in rounding off nut heads before the use of pliers. Will randomly adjust size between bolts, resulting in busted knuckles, curse words, and multiple threats to any inanimate objects within the immediate vicinity.
BASTARD TOOL :
Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling 'Bastard' at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need
PartsBin an Electronics Part Organizer - An updated version available!
JaxCoder.com
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ROUTER:
A device for throwing small-but-heavy sharp knives that are rotating at 20,000 RPM directly at the most valuable thing in the shop.
(Beware the Chinese bits: I had a Mortise and Tenon router bit set that was not balanced: first time I ran them up the vibration snapped the head clean off before the wood even got to them ...)
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
"Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt
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I bought a cheap router to trim laminate for a counter top in kitchen. I was using a 1/4" trim bit and The bit slipped out of the chuck and chucked it across the room. The router base had a gouge in it and when I finally found the bit the shaft was bent. If I had been in the way it would have really hurt.
I threw that router away and bought a decent one.
PartsBin an Electronics Part Organizer - An updated version available!
JaxCoder.com
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DIYers in Germany say: If you buy too cheap, you buy twice
M.D.V.
If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about?
Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you
Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.
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The most expensive tool is a cheap tool.
PartsBin an Electronics Part Organizer - An updated version available!
JaxCoder.com
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Good option too...
That remember me to something OG usually says: If you think a good dev is expensive, wait until you hire a cheap dev.
M.D.V.
If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about?
Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you
Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.
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yup, me right there
Charlie Gilley
“They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” BF, 1759
Has never been more appropriate.
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I wanted to take up woodworking, but they wouldn't let me. I would lose several fingers and a thumb trying to use anything sharper than a keyboard.
The same applies to any type of mechanical work.
Clumsy Ed
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I too am clumsy but managed to get by with just cuts and abrasions and a slight concussion once, but that was from my ex...that don't count.
I'm poor, I needed to learn many trades.
PartsBin an Electronics Part Organizer - An updated version available!
JaxCoder.com
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It's the same as cooking: have respect for the tools, and remember that everything you work with is dangerous in some way. Pay attention and you'll both stay safe and do a better job.
When I look round my kitchen, the number of sharp / hot / heavy / fast moving / electrical (pair up as necessary) dangers is quite staggering. And even Herself can't get through more than one can of Burneze a year ...
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
"Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt
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some truth to that. A few years ago, my wife and I became foodies. Now we raised a giant family so we know how to cook in quantity, now we're all about challenging recipes . So in addition to re-doing the kitchen, we bought real knives.
You know the show where all the chefs roll their knuckles over against the blade? There's a real good reason for that. I'm looking at my right index finger (I'm a lefty). The worst injury in the kitchen came from a stupid tuna can lid. 7 stiches and 1,500 later..
Charlie Gilley
“They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” BF, 1759
Has never been more appropriate.
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Wait till you start playing with ceramic knives - I love them, but you have to teach yourself "if I drop it, do not try to catch it". Mine are what, ten years old? Maybe older? And apart from the ones Herself uses, still as sharp as the day I bought them.
Try to catch one, and you'll lose fingers ...
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
"Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt
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This reminds me I have to assemble and wall mount two huge Ikea bookcases this weekend. And I'm about as technical savvy as a beauty pageant contestant.
There is only one Vera Farmiga and Salma Hayek is her prophet!
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Get someone more mechanically oriented to help you, and do exactly what they tell you!
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
"Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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My hope lies with my 14 yo doughtier.
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Just do what she tells you and you'll be fine.
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
"Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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Another use for the wire wheel is to instantly remove the cuff from a long sleeve sweat shirt. It happened to my brother. He didn't even get a scratch. I guess this is why they warn us to not wear loose clothing around power tools.
Kelly Herald
Software Developer
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There is a company (called sawstop, but I'll post no links as it's probably spamming to do that) that makes table saws with a brake that stops the blade dead when skin comes in contact with it.
I saw a YouTube vid on it a couple of years ago, demoing it with hotdogs: How Safe is a Sawstop Saw? - Never Before Seen 19,000 FPS HD Slow-Mo Video - YouTube[^]
I was impressed, but I can't justify the price - I just have to be really careful!
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
"Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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YEP I have been around saws for a lot of my early years as a kid
sent a 4 ft 2 by 4 through the garage wall with a Dewalt Radial Arm Saw
ripping the wrong direction Dad band me from using that saw and bought
me a jig saw
Saw Stop has a new saw it is OK just not a real performance saw IMHO
here is a link to a former state highway patrolman that turned into a
YouTube "performer" The new saw is $900.00
Was I Misled or Wrong About the SawStop Compact Table Saw? - YouTube[^]
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I have a DeWalt crosscut mitre was that I bought ex-rental about fifteen years ago - damn fine piece of kit even now!
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
"Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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It's Twelfth Night, so tradition requires Xmas decorations be banished from the house and stay away until late December.
So the cards are down, the tree is packed away, the baubles are back in their box. Ah. Much nicer: I can go for a pee in the night with treating on half the baubles Dij has scattered all around.
But it's the lights and strings I wanted to talk about: I use old kitchen roll tubes to wind these things around so that next time they are easy to access and haven't attempted to form a massive Gordian Knot Of Christmas when the time comes to put them back up. (I did try the "rip 'em down and throw the damn things in a box approach one year, but after contemplating the result the following December and considering wire cutters to get them apart I ended up buying fresh instead.)
So are you a "tidy away" person, or a "chuck it and hope" type when it comes to these things? Or are you lucky enough to have an SO that does it all for you?
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
"Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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SWMBO is very adept at getting the four strings of lights (total 260) back in their respective boxes. All I have to do is put the big box back in the attic.
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Nope, not until the 7th.
And that's not my problem anyway. I don't put 'em up, so I don't take 'em down.
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Tidy-ish chuck-it and forgeter.
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