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harold aptroot wrote: it texts
Yeah, press 1 three times for a c, little pause, 2 times for b... 
And no one is texting anymore, it's all WhatsApp these days.
I know of at least one friend who wouldn't text me back because she "refuses to pay extra money because I won't buy a decent phone." I can just hear her say it 
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I have an 8210 still. Its a good phone.
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My brother still has my old Nokia 6310.
Still has 10 days of battery per charge.
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If this text is blue, your internet connection is too fast
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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So. What does it mean when it's green?
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Parity errors.
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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It's the weekend. Are you sure it's not party errors 
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It's the green colour: makes it a parroty error. 
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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I got ultra violet! 
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Pfft! I see it in gamma rays.
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Respect man! 
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While we're on the subject, if you've not yet seen the Akamai, State of the Internet report, see if you can guess the top five nations with the fastest average internet connection speeds (ranging from 13.7 to 7 Mbps). If you get even one right you can award yourself an extra beer tonight or a few extra pieces of bacon tomorrow! (Hint: it ain't USA!!!)
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I got the top one, and guessed that HK would be in there somewhere.
Ireland surprised me - as did that my connections speed is nearly twice the South Korean average!
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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didn't see any text in your message, but my tv turned on when I opened it
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Ah. Dial up. 
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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I get red text ( metaphorically speaking )
We can’t stop here, this is bat country - Hunter S Thompson RIP
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Oh dear. Red shift is slow, isn't it?
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in bed.
She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him.
He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.
She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
'What's the matter, dear?' she whispers as she steps into the room. 'Why are you down here at this time of night?'
The husband looks up from his coffee, 'It's the 20th Anniversary of the day we met.'
She can't believe he has remembered and starts to tear up.
The husband continues, 'Do you remember 20 years ago when we started dating? I was 18 and you were only 16,' he says solemnly.
Once again, the wife is touched to tears. 'Yes, I do,' she replies.
The husband pauses. The words were not coming easily.
'Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?'
'Yes, I remember,' said the wife, lowering herself into the chair beside him.
The husband continued. 'Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter or I will send you to prison for 20 years?'
'I remember that, too,' she replied softly.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, 'I would have gotten out today.'
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Backups are for womens
Lol the last one was from last month... no that is something like "no backup".
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You didn't find 300 failed components.
Take the battery out. Plug it into AC turn it on.
Does it come on? You're welcome, put the battery back in and have a great weekend.
It doesn't come on? - Sorry, have a great weekend.
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It's gone for good. The motherboard is shot, as is the CPU. Only the RAM and the HDD made it out alive. Everything else: fried.
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
The metaphorical solid rear-end expulsions have impacted the metaphorical motorized bladed rotating air movement mechanism.
Do questions with multiple question marks annoy you???
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Spontaneously?
Post details.
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Pretty much. It was on, then bam, nothing. No power, picture, anything. I honestly have no idea what happened.
I took out the hard drive and RAM and threw the rest away (other than the battery, as it requires different disposal steps)
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
The metaphorical solid rear-end expulsions have impacted the metaphorical motorized bladed rotating air movement mechanism.
Do questions with multiple question marks annoy you???
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