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What about my friend Chris has a great arse?*
Speaking as someone who shares the same first name as my mother-in-law, names do not always tell you the gender.
*I don't, but my MiL's is alright.
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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Demonstrating one of the great joys of language - context matters. A fuller response could only be given in The Soapbox.
Peter Wasser
"The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts." - Bertrand Russell
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My friend Bob had a great arse; her name was Robin but she always called herself Bob. My name is Robert and I went by Bob for a while as well so it got quite confusing (for people trying to talk to us) during our time together. She started calling me Robert as she apparently found it weird to call someone else Bob and that's when I reverted to the name my mother had given me - the end of my youthful rebellion! My next girlfriend was called Sam - much less confusion!
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
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I know a bloke also called Chris, he married a woman called Chris, then she divorced him, then they got married again.
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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Mmm, some names are not gender-specific though. The English language is such a minefield when trying to compliment someone's posterior.
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I just call them by their name! They don't mind.
Do you seriously have to confuse things here?
The sh*t I complain about
It's like there ain't a cloud in the sky and it's raining out - Eminem
~! Firewall !~
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Afzaal Ahmad Zeeshan wrote: Do you seriously have to confuse things here?
No, but some of super's cow-orkers are.[^] It looks like he(?) was asking us to confirm that they're doing it wrong. Do you really have a problem with people trying to learn how not to elephant our language up?
Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, waging all things in the balance of reason?
Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful?
--Zachris Topelius
Training a telescope on one’s own belly button will only reveal lint. You like that? You go right on staring at it. I prefer looking at galaxies.
-- Sarah Hoyt
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"Learning" and "using" are two different things. He can of course learn many ways of addressing ladies in the same room. How he actually calls them depends on his choice. 
After all, even if you find one good word, do you think he would like to address her that way? After all, friend can be anyone, good friends don't mind addressing them by their names.
The sh*t I complain about
It's like there ain't a cloud in the sky and it's raining out - Eminem
~! Firewall !~
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What you can do is put a pause between girl and friend, when you mean a friend who is a girl. Or just call her a friend, since it doesn't make any difference whether the friend is male or female, unless you are sexist! 
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Or you can say girl, pause and wink, and then say friend, and then finish the rest of your scotch. Very sassy! 
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What are you talking about? Do you imply that there can be a relationship between men and women that doesn't involve sex somewhere between 'not friend' and 'girl friend'? 
Ok, but seriously, 'friend' should work either way. I've just checked a dictionary[^] which suggests both 'friend' and 'pal'. It even mentions a colloquial, female, variant, 'gal pal'.
GOTOs are a bit like wire coat hangers: they tend to breed in the darkness, such that where there once were few, eventually there are many, and the program's architecture collapses beneath them. (Fran Poretto)
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Ho[^]???  
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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In the Indian context, I** just say:
- Madam is coming, or
- Sir is coming.
** Need to keep in mind that I'm old school, 50 years of age. So, the 'Madam' or 'Sir' may be decades younger than me
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In North America (at least), males tend to refer to their male and female friends simply as "friends", while females tend to refer to their female friends as "girlfriends" and their male friends as "friends".
/ravi
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Wait ... they let girls work these days? 
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It's really not that complicated.
She (or for that matter, he) is a friend. No need for a gender qualifier in such a relationship as it's not of any relevance.*
* If it is relevant, you may consider not only girl-friend, but wife, mistress, concubine, &etc.
| "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | | "As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error." - Weisert | | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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W∴ Balboos wrote: If it is relevant, you may consider not only girl-friend, but wife, mistress, concubine, &etc. and making sure they don't find out
FTFY!
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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. . . harem . . .
| "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | | "As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error." - Weisert | | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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I just use the word 'friend'. It's not necessary to qualify that with a gender.
If someone wants to know my friend's gender, they ask, then I tell them. Simples.
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You can say lady-coworker or lady-friend. No one ever uses lady-friend to mean girlfriend.
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Well...
We recently sent our client an update for the mockups of a new website we're about to start developing, in the form of a zip containing a couple of jpeg images (actually the images were mockups for the custom 404 and 500 error pages). So far so good.
Minutes later, our PM got an angry call from the client. Here's how it roughly went down:
[Client]: Hey, the mockups you sent over are not working at all. All I'm getting is errors!
[PM]: What do you mean, that the zip file is corrupt? That you can't open the images?
[Client]: No, the zip is not corrupt, and I can "open" the files, but when I do, I get an error! Fix it NOW!
[PM]: Ok... What kind of error?
[Client]: I get a 404 error on one image and a 500 error on the other. I said, FIX IT NOW!!!
[PM]: hm, you do realize that you're seeing the MOCKUPS for the CUSTOM ERROR pages, right? That you're supposed to see an IMAGE displaying an ERROR. Right?
[Client]:...
Φευ! Εδόμεθα υπό ρηννοσχήμων λύκων!
(Alas! We're devoured by lamb-guised wolves!)
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Brilliant! Well done to all concerned
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Sounds like the only thing that needs fixing is the client! 
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Client can not be fixed! And 101% of clients behave like this in a lot of occasions...Better get used to it...
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
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You must not know IBM System/360 programming:
XC - eXecute Client
(actually Xor Character)
EDIT: For the humour-impaired, this was intended to raise a smile. It perhaps did not achieve the desired effect, but I certainly do not advocate harming clients in any way.
If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack.
--Winston Churchill
modified 7-Dec-15 10:51am.
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