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The new series of Top Gear is going to be sh*t.
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Was there ever any doubt?
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Well, remember to flush when you are done. Thanks.
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Nah, he's DVR'ing it for his wife. 
The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative. -Winston Churchill
America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between. -Oscar Wilde
Wow, even the French showed a little more spine than that before they got their sh*t pushed in.[^] -Colin Mullikin
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Sounds a lot like it's going to be "Original Top Gear" with toilet humour instead of a "funny program with cars". 
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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Not good. It hasn't been my day, my week, my month or even my year.
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Hang in there! The year is still a puppy. A lot can happen before 2017. 
Get me coffee and no one gets hurt!
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....I'll be there for youuuuu.................not.
"the debugger doesn't tell me anything because this code compiles just fine" - random QA comment
"Facebook is where you tell lies to your friends. Twitter is where you tell the truth to strangers." - chriselst
"I don't drink any more... then again, I don't drink any less." - Mike Mullikins uncle
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Look on the bright side. OK, you're not in Portsmouth (a blessing for most people) but it could be worse. There's always Luton...
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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I's swap here for Luton any day of the week.
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I've put them all in one basket, and counted there will be 5 hens once they hatch.
What can go wrong?
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One of them may be a cockerel.
That would of course be a c**k up.
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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PompeyThree wrote: What can go wrong?
Never count your chickens BEFORE they hatch!
The difficult we do right away...
...the impossible takes slightly longer.
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Wait, how long do you have to sit on them for before they hatch?
I just couldn't resist. 
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If so, you might need to get yourself a High visibility jacket[^]! 
And if you feel a little more cocky, you can always go for the camouflage jacket[^]!!! BTW: Do yourselves the favour to look at the pictures - especially the ones with the "fox"!
Both links SFW!
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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Hey! If you had to cross roads for a living you'd want one too!
I am not a number. I am a ... no, wait!
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That fox has got a clucking TANK! 
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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Yeah, he's really tankful!
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
-
The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
-
I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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Great, now the hawks can spot them easier.
There are only 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.
01110100011010000110100101110011001000000110100101110011
00100000011000100110100101101110011000010111001001111001
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Henery Hawk[^] will be glad.
"the debugger doesn't tell me anything because this code compiles just fine" - random QA comment
"Facebook is where you tell lies to your friends. Twitter is where you tell the truth to strangers." - chriselst
"I don't drink any more... then again, I don't drink any less." - Mike Mullikins uncle
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I will make sure to share with fellow chicken coworkers! 
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My word, but he was a clever one, was Albert!
(Just a pity he didn't like Quantum Mechanics - we might have had a unified theory by now)
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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The thing is I don't like Quantum Mechanics either. Not because I'm jealous, but because I don't want to call an Electron (or other similar particles) a wave, just because I can't explain the fact how it goes from the both slits at the same time. That's totally wrong!
Newton never knew some facts, like what is gravity or how it works. But he was better than these guys because he clearly said, "No, I don't know it yet!". They, are coming up with bizarre ideas. Quantum Tunnelling, Quantum Entanglement... Quantum stupidity!
The sh*t I complain about
It's like there ain't a cloud in the sky and it's raining out - Eminem
~! Firewall !~
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