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Was just scanning through some old code, and I came across this, I think from a consultant we had a couple years ago:
row.StockPrice = this.StockPrice * (1m + row.Step);
In context, "Nuke" is short for dollar-nuke, or a "dollar-neutral" adjustment (Don't get me started on how complicated convertible bonds are), so it's perfectly valid and innocent... But that's just an awesome comment to see first thing, after coming back from a 3-day weekend.
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I'm still waiting to see a gem I wrote, can't remember it all but it used a label with the line
goto He11 
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I tend to prefer
or the more succinct
of course all intentions to clean up,
but, time goes by, projects end, and thus far: nothing ever caught on fire.
Sometimes when a customer annoys me and also expects code they can 'self maintain' I'll be nice and write descriptive comments and use meaningful variable/parameter names, in abbreviated Dutch of course - figure should be quite a treat for them here in Asia.
Sin tack ear lol
Pressing the any key may be continuate
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I'm not doing real programming anymore - I'm doing QlikView crap.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote: QlikView crap
Tautology.
This space for rent
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Werd.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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Would you like to work with Office 2007 automation?
"It is easy to decipher extraterrestrial signals after deciphering Javascript and VB6 themselves.", ISanti[ ^]
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Want my PHP project?
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
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You should just get into the custom hot rod business and call it a day. Give software development a rest for a while, it is so overrated. 
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There's no money in building really nice cars. You have to work on turds to keep the shop open, and the guys that want you to work on their turds don't want to spend any more money than necessary, so you end up selling parts at cost, and making all your money on labor. The problem with that is that people try to pay you in anything but cash, such as guns, chickens, or an hour with their sister. And even if you do excellent work ALL the time, customer loyalty is crap.
TV makes it look all glamorous, but it's a tough business for the little guy, and extremely difficult to make a name for yourself.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
-
You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
-
When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote: TV makes it look all glamorous, but it's a tough business for the little guy, and extremely difficult to make a name for yourself.
So, it's a little like software development. 
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Yeah, and I think I've had my fill of what they refer to as "software development" nowadays.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
-
You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
-
When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote: "software development" nowadays.
Throw poo at the wall, see what sticks...
Common sense is admitting there is cause and effect and that you can exert some control over what you understand.
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John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote: uch as guns, chickens, or an hour with their sister.
You only get to choose 1? Spot of hunting while the girl does a roast.
Sin tack ear lol
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I do not recommend roasting girls, they tend to scream a lot.
Bastard Programmer from Hell 
If you can't read my code, try converting it here[^]
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Eddy Vluggen wrote: they tend to scream a lot.
and you would know this, how? 
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First rule of BBQ. Don't talk about BBQ.
Mongo: Mongo only pawn... in game of life.
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Ah, I see you have the Donner family cookbook.
if (Object.DividedByZero == true) { Universe.Implode(); }
Meus ratio ex fortis machina. Simplicitatis de formae ac munus. -Foothill, 2016
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Corporal Agarn wrote: BBQ
Big Black ... Quokka?
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Remember where I am from. Hint red-neck. So BBQ is barbecue or slow roasted/smoked meat.
Mongo: Mongo only pawn... in game of life.
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I know. Mind the joke icon.
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Oops. 
Mongo: Mongo only pawn... in game of life.
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You must have a humongous oven! 
If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack.
--Winston Churchill
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Want my VB6 - C++/98 (Visual Studio 6 interprtetation) job? Without Internet connection and with a developement machine equipped with 1 GB of RAM and Windows XP (that actually is the most positive quality)?
DURA LEX, SED LEX
GCS d--- s-/++ a- C++++ U+++ P- L- E-- W++ N++ o+ K- w+++ O? M-- V? PS+ PE- Y+ PGP t++ 5? X R++ tv-- b+ DI+++ D++ G e++>+++ h--- ++>+++ y+++* Weapons extension: ma- k++ F+2 X
If you think 'goto' is evil, try writing an Assembly program without JMP. -- TNCaver
When I was six, there were no ones and zeroes - only zeroes. And not all of them worked. -- Ravi Bhavnani
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Now I understand why your company blocks internet access besides a few white-listed URLs. 
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