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My neighbors down the street have a small pond in their front yard.
In the spring the pond becomes home to a few water plants and some goldfish.
I walk past the house every few days and I noticed that a couple of months ago the fountain that created a small waterfall to aerate the pond stopped working. As we drifted into fall the water plants died and the water became like a very strong tea, thick with leaves and debri.
A couple of weeks ago I went for a walk and I noticed one remaining fish was gasping for air. I decided to wait a week and if the fish was still there I was going to rescue it. Unfortunately, a week later it snowed, ice set in, and I couldn't find the fish. I assumed that it died or a raccoon nabbed it.
Well, this last weekend it was an unseasonable 50 degrees so when I walked past the house on Sunday I was shocked to find that fish was still there, gasping for air. I have no idea how the silly thing had managed to survive for so long. I went home, grabbed a bucket, and scoped the 8" goldfish out of the pond and he's now resting peacefully in a brand new fishtank in a comfy, warm, home.
I put a note in the people's mailbox:
Greetings:
I noticed that your fish was in need of rescue so I've taken the little guy home. Give me a call and I'll drop him off at your convenience. My phone is [000.000.0000]. Thank you.
Here is what I wanted to write:
Greetings:
I've grown tired of your annual massacre of tropical fish; therefore, I've stolen the last living one from your pond. If you stock the pond with fish next year I'll be back with some friends and we'll kick your ever-living arse. I suggest you fill in the neglected pond with dirt and plant some flowers that you can neglect. Thank You.
That aside, I'm guessing the house in in foreclosure or something.
Maybe an old lady who got stuffed into a home by relatives.
Whatever the case, I'll let you know if I get a call.
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Since when did goldfish become tropical?
You cant outrun the world, but there is no harm in getting a head start
Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.
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I agree, the whole thing is pathetic.
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We used to have a cat that was really useless at hunting - she used to try to sneak up on leaves but even they got way half the time, and the one time she tried catching birds they turned on her and she ran away in a panic. So where did she get the six-to-eight inch long golden fish from? Dunno - but she would bring one home every day...for about two weeks. We suspect some neighbours had a Koi pond, for a short while. 
If you get an email telling you that you can catch Swine Flu from tinned pork then just delete it. It's Spam.
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and from then on you will wake to half eaten fish corpses on your carpet
You cant outrun the world, but there is no harm in getting a head start
Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.
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Mouse intestines squidge up through your toes in a vary unpleasant manner, I found.
If you get an email telling you that you can catch Swine Flu from tinned pork then just delete it. It's Spam.
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Hahaha, my dog has a tendency to find already dead mice (from mouse poison) in our basement. He will just bark at it until someone comes to clean it up.
The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative. -Winston Churchill
America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between. -Oscar Wilde
Wow, even the French showed a little more spine than that before they got their sh*t pushed in.[^] -Colin Mullikin
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Colin Mullikin wrote: He will just bark at it until someone comes to clean it up.
That is good, since the poison is still in the mouse corpse. In the event that he ever eats one, emergency vet immediately, most likely will need massive doses of vitamin K among other stuff. Make sure to know which poison so the vet can treat it properly.
SO saw this sort of thing way to often when she worked at one. Most of the time it wasn't even the owner who was poisoning the mice.
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Are you going to name it? 
BDF
I often make very large prints from unexposed film, and every one of them turns out to be a picture of myself as I once dreamed I would be.
-- BillWoodruff
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It's a goldfish. You address those by index, not by key.
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"His"? "Bandit"?
You were talking about a decorative fish, worth a few cents?
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These are GIANT gold fish, aka "Koi". They go for thousands of dollars, depending on "grade" (pond or show) and coloring.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
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A giant goldfish is not a Koi. I've been told that Koi need feeding five times a day, due to their intestines.
And although their price might be high, I for one do not think of it as a fair price/value ratio. After all, they still taste like ordinary goldfish.
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Careful, that's how this mess started: [^]
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How did you manage to get a phone number like that? That's the ultimate nerd phone number.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
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Goldfish don't mind being frozen.
Neither my Grandparents nor Parents ever brought them in for the Winter, but there they were next Spring, swimmin' around and having a grand old time.
The fish. Buncha wiseguys.
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If it was 8" long, it's probably a Koi. They're a type of carp, and are actually very hearty. I've seen plenty of Koi ponds freeze in the winter and the fish are just fine.
Be The Noise
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Hey, goldfish are carp, too.
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The tiny pond (4x2') at about a foot deep at it's center would have likely frozen solid. While it's true that the fish can survive in about 18" of water if the pond is maintained this was not one of those cases.
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So you just admitted on a public forum to trespassing & theft.
Hope you have some cash saved up.
If it's not broken, fix it until it is
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On the plus side, I saw the hobbit this weekend.
The film features a burglar.
I blame the theatre.
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I blame guns.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
-----
You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
-----
"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
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Would you have shot him if he came on to your property and stole your fish?
====================================
Transvestites - Roberts in Disguise!
====================================
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