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This[^] on a loop. 
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
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I'm seriously thinking about changing phones now. 
Wrong is evil and must be defeated. - Jeff Ello
Any organization is like a tree full of monkeys. The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces. The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes.
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Is there one for a real phone? 
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As far as I know, the only equivalent for iPhone is an endoscope attachment for "extreme selfies".
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It gets better[^].
Wrong is evil and must be defeated. - Jeff Ello
Any organization is like a tree full of monkeys. The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces. The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes.
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+5 from me, plus you get my "comeback of the year" award.
I'm retired. There's a nap for that...
- Harvey
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Yep*[^]
*-telescope sold separately
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Well, I'll be elephanted; I gotta get me one of those... 
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Now, I know most guys tend to b*tch and complain about women because they suck with them, had a bad experience or two, whipped, married to or involved with a nutcase, etc. But by and large, to play devil's advocate and in honor of breast cancer awareness month, here's a short list of why women are freaking awesome:
1. A great woman, like a great man, listens!
2. They are fun to play with and tease. Most guys simply do not get this. They get all pissy over nothing and don't just have fun and play with girls like we did when were kids.
3. When they love you, they are very thoughtful of you. It makes them happy to see you happy.
4. Girls just want to have fun... even more so than guys. And guys talk like they do, but they never do. Go figure.
5. They put up with a lot of crap from guys. Yes, guys have to deal with some crap too. But women have to deal with A LOT. Especially if she's attractive. Most guys will never understand what I mean by this.
6. They are easier to talk to than with guys. Guys simply do not talk... ever. Or if they do, it's usually a fake and closed off conversation.
7. A great woman wants you to feel like and be a man. She'll expect that from you in fact.
And yes, men also need a testicular cancer awareness month as well.
Jeremy Falcon
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You should say to your wife to stop hitting you with the fry pan on your head. It seems that you have a small concussion.
Microsoft ... the only place where VARIANT_TRUE != true
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Don't have a wife and my girl respects me way too much to even think about hitting me with a frying pan.
Jeremy Falcon
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...yet...
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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There's a difference between a mature woman and an overgrown little girl man. Real women don't throw tantrums.
Jeremy Falcon
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Jeremy Falcon wrote: Real women don't throw tantrums.
Nope. They don't.
They throw knives 
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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Also, if a women respects you, she'd never do that. The girl I was seeing before my current one went a bit crazy and she got upset at times (because I'm moving across country soon), but even she would have never hit me with a frying pan... ever.
Jeremy Falcon
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Jeremy Falcon wrote: she would have never hit me with a frying pan... ever
I guess you were the one always stuck in the kitchen doing the cooking then? 
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JOKE AHEAD!
JOOOOOOOOOOKE!
DON'T TAKE IT SERIOUSLY!
You can't say how much they love their kitchen tools... 
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If you are being held against your will, work the word 'umbrella' into a message and we will dispatch a rescue team. 
Soren Madsen
"When you don't know what you're doing it's best to do it quickly" - Jase #DuckDynasty
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Ok, that was one good. I had to laugh.
Jeremy Falcon
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