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So, just a regular day; nothing special.
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
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Tap into any email I missed, before its neccary to burn the midnight oil on some problem which is already known
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Take a rest after a busy vacation! 
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Kornfeld Eliyahu Peter wrote: What would be the first thing you do at the office when back from a 2 week vacation?
I'd either be thinking, I sure am glad I have an awesome job that I look forward to coming back to, or I'd be thinking, why am I wasting my life sitting in this cubicle, sifting through a couple hundred emails, catching up on git commits, and reviewing the latest JIRA bug reports?
Marc
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I'd take a coffee and then a second coffee.
Then I'd read all mails and I'd wait the end of the day.
Daily routine...
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Bore my colleagues to death with my vacation tales and photographs. That is, if I can catch them...
I may not last forever but the mess I leave behind certainly will.
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Kornfeld Eliyahu Peter wrote: What would be the first thing you do at the office when back from a 2 week vacation?
Open a bunch of Remote Admin sessions, spread lovingly on all available monitors, scribble something on a piece of paper... sip on the coffee... space out for about an hour or so 
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By the experiences of many friends: visit HR and make sure you still have a job. 
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Your house was very small...and when I came round to call...
modified 30-Apr-16 19:26pm.
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Oh no. He's been on the dizzy juice again!
I am not a number. I am a ... no, wait!
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Quote: Oh no. He's been on the dizzy juice again!
And he is out of his cage! Run for the hills! 
Get me coffee and no one gets hurt!
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You're right but also wrong. That isn't the next line.
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Move it to the Soapbox and I will give you a fistful of next lines.
Get me coffee and no one gets hurt!
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No need to beat him to a Pulp.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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That's not what I implied. What I meant was..... Aaah never mind. 
Get me coffee and no one gets hurt!
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(Here's a tip: swot up on Jarvis Cocker)
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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...you said you'd meet me in the hall
I said maybe we can go to your room?
You said "F*** off!"
I said "Boom! boom!"
The came you dad, shotgun in hand
Made me return your wedding-band
Said no way would I off his family scrounge
Told me to return to from whence I came - the Lounge!
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(Not The Astronomy Picture Of the Day)
But...I want: Rihga Planetary Chocolates[^]
That's a brilliant present idea - but they only ship in cold weather... 
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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They got the sizes wrong. 
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I think that was deliberate: Jupiter is nearly 10,000 times the mass of Mercury, so a small mouthful (enough to taste) of the smallest globe would be around 100 kilos of Chocolate for the biggest!
Even Allison can't eat that much in one sitting (though I'm sure she'd try!)
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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No sh*t!
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Wow! I actually got some Swedish humour!
I know developers who would have actually made that complaint, so it's a double-whammy.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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They arent being tsundere, it really melts in mail desu sempai
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And for about $10 a planet (I'm guessing that's one bite) I'm sure they're delicious
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