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We have a guy at my job that wants to pull data to the website from excel sheets. The problem though is that he actually means that. 
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So let him do it.
We don't get enough code in "The Weird and the Wonderful" as it is these days!
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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He's not a programmer, he's one of those people that tells the programmers what to do, and how to do it.
He's also good with buzzwords, and even if he doesn't always understand them it sounds good to the boss.
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So teach him some new buzzwords and let his boss look them up rather than admit he doesn't know them...:EvilGrinSmiley:
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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And you didn't chose words to get him fired? 
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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He's not that kind of stupid, and I'm not that kind of evil.
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[C# required]
Now you just create a "Excel Uploader" program that uses Excel Interop, and quietly make a CSV and uploads that instead.
I actually had to use a website that was too complicated for the end user, so I used a WebX and auto-filled everything it could detect. Unfortunately file open dialogs can't be filled in programatically, so I used SendKeys.Send() on a Timer for that.
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Jörgen Andersson wrote: He's also good with buzzwords,
One place I worked hired a VP of Technology who was nothing but a big bag of buzzwords. In the mid 90's he was strolling through our prairie dog village and telling us that Flash memory was going to replace the RAM in our desktops. This was the age of "paradigm" in every memo. He was a real "Management by Magazine Article" type guy. He proclaimed the company's mainframes dead and replaced them with minicomputers. One machine (long in the tooth) used Autocoder and all the programs were to be converted to COBOL. Once all the programs were converted to COBOL, it would be easy to maintain them, he claimed. My observation that a badly written program is hard to maintain in any language was ignored. The future was beckoning.
A throwaway line in the Manager's Edition (the summation in the margins) of a Smalltalk book claimed it could be used to model a company. He then wanted us to write a Smalltalk program as a whole company simulator so upper management could explore layoffs and reorganization on the operation of the company.
Thankfully he was shown the door, but only after he miss-estimated how long the mainframe to minicomputer conversion was going to take and it cost the company an extra $10 million dollars in operational expenses.
Psychosis at 10
Film at 11
Those who do not remember the past, are doomed to repeat it.
Those who do not remember the past, cannot build upon it.
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My best friend for >20 years still calls his tower the hard drive, and asks me how much 'hard memory' he has.
I still have no idea what the hell he thinks he means. He won't stop saying it. It means something between drive space and RAM in his head.
I've tried the "desk top / desk drawer" analogy. I've tried ripping it apart and showing him the actual components.
Nothing works.
He also runs a defrag when he thinks he sees evidence of malware, despite my assurances that he's waving a dead chicken at the thing.
Technology hates him. I've never seen anyone have so many problems from normal judicious use of a computer or smartphone. It's impressive.
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mikepwilson wrote: Technology hates him. I've never seen anyone have so many problems from normal judicious use of a computer or smartphone. It's impressive.
So You haven't met MY Brothers. One asked me to fix his email. What happened is he forgot his password. 
David
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He called me on my way in to work this morning. One of those "fake anti-virus" trojans.
"But I didn't DO anything."
"The fact that it's there proves that's not true."
He wasn't pleased. But dammit! Stop clicking on s***!
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mikepwilson wrote: My best friend for >20 years still calls his tower the hard drive,
I find that to be quite common for people of my parents ages and older (60's plus).
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Some one I know calls the whole computer (tower and all) the CPU - it drives me nuts (possibly why he still does it!)
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At least that's closer.
I'm convinced there's a subset of civilians who absolutely adore doing this kind of thing to us.
Like the XKCD comic about sending typography geeks cards in papyrus.
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From tech people (unfortunately): A while ago our company started using Entity Framework and databinding. Completely unrelated I created a library we could use for a certain type of software. Appearently some people thought the one couldn't do without the other. So I got questions like "We can't use EF for this, should we use your library?" or "I need something else than EF, because I can't bind this value" and I'm just sitting there like "What does that have to do with anything?"
Luckily things have been better lately.
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My brother usually has these problems:
- Microsoft is not working (he means Word)
- Mozzarella is not working (that is Firefox, apparently the cheese name is easier to remember than the actual company name)
Make it simple, as simple as possible, but not simpler.
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A fiend refers to the computer (everything apart from mouse, keyboard & screen) as the "hard drive".
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Member 10685535 wrote: A fiend refers to the computer
Was he a fiendish fiend? Or just a run of the mill fiend?
Sorry, I couldn't help myself.
Psychosis at 10
Film at 11
Those who do not remember the past, are doomed to repeat it.
Those who do not remember the past, cannot build upon it.
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The best I ever heard was somebody (who from the tone of their voice, clearly knew it all) referring to the manufacturer "Hewlett Packard Bell"
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My mobile phone carrier's 3G speed is 500 MB
Yeah... How easy it is to sell to a layman?
To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems - Homer Simpson
----
Our heads are round so our thoughts can change direction - Francis Picabia
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My mother was worried upon receiving a new monitor that all of her data would be gone.
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This topic reminded me of an occurrence in 1968 during the punched card era.
We had a "database" of around 50,000 punched cards for our inventory. Each card was a type of inventory item. Punched into a card was the identifying information, quantity on hand, price, etc. The punched cards were stored in 25 trays. 2,000 cards per tray.
They were kept in the user area where they could peruse them during the work day and brought to the data center at night to process all the orders and receipts to create updated punched cards which were merged into the deck replacing the out dated versions of each card.
One morning, the inventory department manager came down to the data center and told us that there we 22 cards missing from the deck. (That's 22 out of ~50,000) I still don't know how he determine that.
Anyway, he wanted us to run the ~50,000 cards through the computer and print out the missing cards.
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User: It doesn't work!
Me: What doesn't work?
User: The button!
Me: Which button what happens when you click it?
User: The button on the page! Nothing happens I just get an error!
Me: What does the error say? tell you to do?
Then total radio silence on the subject.
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