|
Message Closed
modified 1-Apr-16 17:23pm.
|
|
|
|
|
You "communicate" just like them.
Have fun not finding any friends.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
|
|
|
|
|
Message Closed
modified 1-Apr-16 17:22pm.
|
|
|
|
|
What a charmer. Are you involved in osmosian? You do a damned fine job of acting like them.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
|
|
|
|
|
If you lose a contact lens, should you have kept an eye on it?
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
|
|
|
|
|
Rather try to stay in contact with your lenses!
Get me coffee and no one gets hurt!
|
|
|
|
|
Keeping a lid on it shirley would have helped.
"the debugger doesn't tell me anything because this code compiles just fine" - random QA comment
"Facebook is where you tell lies to your friends. Twitter is where you tell the truth to strangers." - chriselst
"I don't drink any more... then again, I don't drink any less." - Mike Mullikins uncle
|
|
|
|
|
Fancy! Very eyebrow humor!
/ravi
|
|
|
|
|
Good one, iris I would have thought of that!
"the debugger doesn't tell me anything because this code compiles just fine" - random QA comment
"Facebook is where you tell lies to your friends. Twitter is where you tell the truth to strangers." - chriselst
"I don't drink any more... then again, I don't drink any less." - Mike Mullikins uncle
|
|
|
|
|
You could be my pupil - I could teach you.
/ravi
|
|
|
|
|
As long as he doesn't sign a cataract.
|
|
|
|
|
Now that one's just cornea!
"the debugger doesn't tell me anything because this code compiles just fine" - random QA comment
"Facebook is where you tell lies to your friends. Twitter is where you tell the truth to strangers." - chriselst
"I don't drink any more... then again, I don't drink any less." - Mike Mullikins uncle
|
|
|
|
|
It didn't bat a lash, huh?
|
|
|
|
|
Nope, must sty harder next time.
"the debugger doesn't tell me anything because this code compiles just fine" - random QA comment
"Facebook is where you tell lies to your friends. Twitter is where you tell the truth to strangers." - chriselst
"I don't drink any more... then again, I don't drink any less." - Mike Mullikins uncle
|
|
|
|
|
At least I'm original. I'd be more like Original if eyebrows for my jokes.
|
|
|
|
|
Ouch! I agree, he should focus on original material.
"the debugger doesn't tell me anything because this code compiles just fine" - random QA comment
"Facebook is where you tell lies to your friends. Twitter is where you tell the truth to strangers." - chriselst
"I don't drink any more... then again, I don't drink any less." - Mike Mullikins uncle
|
|
|
|
|
It means we need to tell the story of how to eliminate costly losses through leveraging next-generation ocular observation techniques to drive upwards retention ratios
|
|
|
|
|
Have you been on the management training course all week?
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
|
|
|
|
|
|
Trains are nothing, training is everything
|
|
|
|
|
I see where you're going with this. These puns are cornea and cornea.
Any pupil of law would agree that right now a good lashing would be in order.
"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | "As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error." - Weisert | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
|
|
|
|
|
The appropriate course of action gets sclera every time you do.
I am not a number. I am a ... no, wait!
|
|
|
|
|
I'm quoting this in full because I suspect stackoverflow will turn its sense of humor off again in within a day.
There is no change request for the prior lightbulb; the change from "lit" to "dark" was not authorized.
I have tasked the team from seven parallel lines to perform an root cause analysis and produce an Ishikawa diagram. They have had to replace the lead tech who apparently tried to assault the project manager with a chair.
A second team has been authorized to review our process diagrams to determine who authorized the light bulb to go dark. They have outlined a comprehensive strategy that will incorporate both a historical analysis of the light/dark status of similar light bulbs, consultation with internal and external industry experts on lightbulb behavior and a validation of the Mean Time Between Failure(MTBF) ratings of the light bulbs.
A third team has begun an Analysis of Alternatives for the replacement light bulb; they report that by the end of the week they will have identified the relative power and influence of the Compact Florescent lobby and the LED lobby. Although there is general recognition of the superior energy consumption profile of the LED, there have been some concerns about the ability of the supply chain to support our goals for sustainability and the committee on empowering the differently abled has requested a study of the impact of the blue tint of the LED's on the ability of potential colorblind employees.
A fourth team proactively began working on the SWOT analysis required for the charter which will authorize a project manager who will have the authority to produce the rest of the project documentation and to request that line management assign staff with the requisite technical skills needed to execute the resulting work package(s).
A fifth team has also proactively loaded a preliminary risk registry with some very pertinent questions about the required ladder. There appears to be some very good research that will help to quantify the relationship between the difference between the optimal ladder size and the actual ladder size on the probability and severity of resulting injuries. While I am pleased that they were proactive about the task, they are being counselled because the preliminary risk registry is not based on the authorized Organizational Process Assets. Once the risk registry has been proven to be aligned with organizational best practices, the team will return to developing risk triggers and mitigation plans.
A sixth team is charged with an analysis of the resources used in this project, and the development of an equivalency table that will enable us to evaluate each employee on the basis of Knowledge, Skills, and Abilities, and use those evaluations to develop a unit of measurement the "project manager equivalent(PME)" which can be used to support the Key Performance Indicator. The early estimates are that the answer will be in the 7.5 to 13.2 deca PME. The manager has already begun the process of submitting the PME to the international standards organization.
I had intended the seventh team (supply chain management), to begin work yesterday. They reported a delay because they had to run down to the 7-11 to buy a light bulb.
As a final note I'd like to find who underlined the words "The Project Manager" in my PMBOK and wrote "singular noun marker; the answer is 'one'" in my PMBOK.
Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, waging all things in the balance of reason?
Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful?
--Zachris Topelius
Training a telescope on one’s own belly button will only reveal lint. You like that? You go right on staring at it. I prefer looking at galaxies.
-- Sarah Hoyt
modified 1-Apr-16 10:45am.
|
|
|
|
|
This not so far from reality. I worked (briefly) for a company in which this kind of thing was normal procedure!
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
|
|
|
|
|
Why are there two third teams? Oh wait, management error.
|
|
|
|