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For my current job, I was required to get my MCSA certificate. I obtained this certification, which means I should be able to perform most SQL Server admin duties.
Another requirement is that I obtain a Security+ certificate, which demonstrates that I am cognizant of the myriad of security threats, and how to spot/mitigate them. I obtained this certification.
Finally, I have a secret clearance.
New tasking requires that I create SSIS packages and SQL Server jobs that run them. Creating the packages is no big deal, but when it comes to the SQL jobs, things have gotten "sticky".
0) I can create the job.
1) I cannot RUN the job manually. (insufficient permissions)
2) I cannot EDIT the job. (insufficient permissions)
3) I cannot change the owner of the job (which is required so that I can run the job manually). (insufficient permissions)
4) The Info Management DBAs want to control the server, but don't have (or don't want to provide) the services necessary for SSIS development support.
What was the point in requiring me to obtain the listed certifications if it doesn't allow me access to do my f*ckin job?
At this point, because the Information Assurance people are being asshats, this has been escalated to command staff, and I'm still sitting on my thumbs waiting for a meeting to happen.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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I assume that the database is stored in this write-only memory device. 
If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack.
--Winston Churchill
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Daniel Pfeffer wrote: this write-only memory device
Brilliant stuff!
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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I'll admit, I read footnote 7.
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Sounds like you work for either the government or s company that does government contract work. Too bad you can't walk in with one of your <al pachino="" cuban="" accent="">'leetle frens'.
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MarkTJohnson wrote: Sounds like you work for either the government
The thought:
"I don't work for the government, and the government doesn't work for me"
has a cute double meaning.
Marc
Latest Article - Merkle Trees
Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny
Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802
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Yes, you may marry my daughter and provide me with grandchildren; but no, you may not have sex with her.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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I used to work for a large Aircraft and Aerospace company that shall remain nameless. During that time I wrote a report on certain software issues that needed addressing. This report went in to the secure document store (everything was on paper back then, no terminals; most code was on punched cards produced from hand written FORTRAN coding sheets). After a couple of months, I found some more issues and wanted to update the document only to be refused access to it because I didn't have the right clearance level! I wrote the report but I wasn't allowed to read it! It took me six months to get vetted for final security clearance to work on the project I was supposed to be working on.
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
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They made you do certification which, if I remember correctly, you considered useless (or was it CG?). They have won already.
"It is easy to decipher extraterrestrial signals after deciphering Javascript and VB6 themselves.", ISanti[ ^]
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No, you're right - I consider it useless, but I'm sure that outlook is shared by a number of developers.
If they piss me off, and I quit, they lose because then they have NOBODY that can do the work, much less anybody they can refuse access to. Therefore, the DBAs inherit the stuff I was trying to do, and everybody suffers because they claim to be understaffed, and with nobody that has the requisite skillset (even if they weren't understaffed). That means the mission is at risk. Oh to be a fly on the wall when that realization occurs to them.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
-
You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
-
When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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Well, given the tight "security" policies they have, they are actually understaffed (not by number). Even though they are paying you, you do not have enough rights to perform your job.
I wonder how the DBAs might be feeling about this policy. I did work in this type of environment for a while and nobody was happy. Almost everything got delayed because one who was supposed to do work did not have right and the one who had right was either overloaded or just pissed off by his work life.
Did they just changed your job title to Chief Certificationist without telling you? Looks like that is all you can do there.
"It is easy to decipher extraterrestrial signals after deciphering Javascript and VB6 themselves.", ISanti[ ^]
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Sounds like you just need to grease the palm of whoever knows the SA password. 
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I can get fired for even hinting that would be a solution.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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Yes. I know. I did mark my reply as a joke. 
I used to work with a secret clearance too. I am no stranger to how paranoia is allowed to get in the way of getting any real work done. And in very few cases was that paranoia actually warranted... 
Though I expect in your case, there probably isn't anyone who actually knows the SA password anyway. It's either in a lockbox somewhere, or the account is disabled completely.
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Apparently, the DBAs downstairs cannot discern the difference between a windows system admin, and a database system admin. They though I wanted SA on the box itself. After fixing that misconception, nothing has changed. They're promising better access when we move to SQL 2012 because it allows more granular permissions. I am not optimistic...
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
-
You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
-
When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote: Finally, I have a secret clearance.
Not any more - you just told us about it.
I'm retired. There's a nap for that...
- Harvey
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Try this on for size:
DBA. In the Server Admin group.
Run-As is disabled on the workstation, so I can't use the SA account to run SQL Server Management Studio.
The SA account cannot log into a workstation.
Result = unable to connect to any SQL Servers.
SQL Servers are not configured for remote access, and there are no SQL tools installed on them anyway.
SA can log into a "jump box" which has all the required SQL tools, the idea being to connect from there to the assorted SQL Servers.
But the "jump box" will not pass Smart Card credentials to the SQL Servers, requiring a login/password to be used.
We don't have logins or passwords, we have Smart Cards.
I've been here since December.
I still haven't started working.
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That SO survey got me wondering what programming language the folks here would be personally interested in learning (and I mean, becoming proficient in) if you had the time & inclination?
This is actually a difficult question for me, because any time I have to work with something else (most notably Python at the moment) I end up missing all the snazzy features of C#.
That said, personally I'd like to explore the functional programming / parallel computing space some more, so F#, Rust and Erlang come mind.
Go falls under the category of a curiosity, I'm not sure what practical use I have for it, and I suppose there's always more bad practices to learn and hair pulling experiences to have with regards to Javascript.
Your turn!
Marc
Latest Article - Merkle Trees
Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny
Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802
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Rust & Swift & Julia
#SupportHeForShe
Government can give you nothing but what it takes from somebody else. A government big enough to give you everything you want is big enough to take everything you've got, including your freedom.-Ezra Taft Benson
You must accept 1 of 2 basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe or we are not alone. Either way, the implications are staggering!-Wernher von Braun
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TheGreatAndPowerfulOzRust & Swift & Julia
Exactly and precisely the same, except no Julia.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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TheGreatAndPowerfulOzRust & Swift & Julia
I forgot about Swift. I might add Scala to my list too, and was thinking about Julia.
Marc
Latest Article - Merkle Trees
Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny
Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802
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I'm just trying to get by till I can retire with as little learning effort as possible. But seeing that that time is 15 years away, it's not that as easy as I could wish for... 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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I am currently learning and using C#. As I expect to work until I drop dead over the keyboard, I am hoping that it will stay current until I do. At age 68 I am among the .08% of programmers in my age category. And YES there is AGE discrimination in our industry.
I am converting my program from VB6 to C# not for myself but for my loyal customers that have been with me since 1984 .....
AGE, Experience, and low cunning will overcome youth every time...
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At 62 I am in your age category and expect to need the keyboard pried from my cold, dead, hands.
I worked in assembly language for 15 years, made my way to C, then to Cold Fusion, and now VB.Net and C#. There is most certainly age discrimination in our industry. My method of dealing with it involves selling my value as an experienced developer, while carefully manicuring and massaging the number of years I have been writing software.
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