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If there is a greeting there is a good chance it is from a Nigerian Prince. Otherwise there is usually not a greeting.
Everyone is born right handed. Only the strongest overcome it.
Fight for left-handed rights and hand equality.
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Sirs,
I tend towards considering these greetings to be just a blurb, a waste of space. I use them, because they are expected. But it feels strange writing an email to "Dear Standard Oil Company, ..." - Exxon isn't "dear" to me. "Hi, Standard Oil,..." is a little too informal. In the old days, you could use terms like "Honorable Standard Oil" or "Most Revered Standard Oil, ..."
A middle-of-the-road level of being formal is "Sirs, ...", but in these #metoo times, you run the risk of being accused of sexual harassment if some lady happens to see the messagage and claim she is being kept out because she is female. So should I use "Sirs and Madams," even when I know that only two males will read the message, or do I have to know the sexes of all possible readers to decide on a salutation? Maybe I should go for "Madmen and Madams," ... 
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Woman told cops God allowed her to drive 120 mph[^]
Must say it's nice driving for someone who died six years ago! 
What I don't understand is why the police think they have the right to interfere with Gods biddings? 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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Never argue with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
Mark Twain
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Episode 7: The Fast and the Delusional
I have lived with several Zen masters - all of them were cats.
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I think it is episode 9 or 10 now. You're falling behind.
Everyone is born right handed. Only the strongest overcome it.
Fight for left-handed rights and hand equality.
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But grandma certainly has the right stuff to make the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs.
I have lived with several Zen masters - all of them were cats.
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I would have gone with physics; easier to prove but harder to understand.
Signature ready for installation. Please Reboot now.
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As a noted theological lawyer, my first thought was that she was bang out of order, for does it not say in the Book of Old Moore 17.VII: "Lo! Behold the sign of the speed limit and obeyeth this at all times for it is there for good reason. He who doth exceed the stated speed shalt get 3 points on the license and a firm slap on the wrist or a speed awareness course at the very least." That sounds pretty much cut and dried ...
But then, I realised, that having been dead for 6 years really does make quite a difference. St. Winnifred's Letters to the Teletubbies 5.XXII, for example, states "Ye that have been dead for many years shalt transcend the laws of the living and be bidden only to do the will of the voices in thine head." There's no ambiguity in that sucker, so we can't ignore it.
Admittedly, there are a few grey areas arising from her response to an armed officer (obviously guns, unlike 120MPH motor cars, hadn't been invented when Ye Olde Grimoires of ye Sacred Law were written) so the Book of Old Moore fails to deal with it but the broader message of St. Winnifred would still seem to apply.
So, all in all, my considered verdict would be: give the lass a break! Life ain't easy when your dead and I'm sure she's very sorry for any inconvenience that she gave the cop. Let her drive home at whatever speed she sees fit and may her voices be with her.
98.4% of statistics are made up on the spot.
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Quote: ARTHUR:
Consult the Book of Armaments!
BROTHER MAYNARD:
Armaments, chapter two, verses nine to twenty-one
SECOND BROTHER:
And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that, with it, Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits in Thy mercy."
And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and large chu--
MAYNARD:
Skip a bit, Brother
SECOND BROTHER:
And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it."
MAYNARD:
Amen
KNIGHTS:
Amen
I have lived with several Zen masters - all of them were cats.
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If the old voting system were in place I would have given you a five - no three!
I'm pretty sure I would not like to live in a world in which I would never be offended.
I am absolutely certain I don't want to live in a world in which you would never be offended.
Freedom doesn't mean the absence of things you don't like.
Dave
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I once had to prepare a whole platoon of soldiers for a live exercise, including throwing hand grenades. I used this clip to get started and only had to ask what these guys got wrong. Easiest job I ever had.
I have lived with several Zen masters - all of them were cats.
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LOL - Massive respect for taking the time to write down all that!
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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Never argue with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
Mark Twain
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I'm against plagiarism - we should work together to stamp it out!
You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one.
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
-
Never argue with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
Mark Twain
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Copy that!
... such stuff as dreams are made on
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You are not the only one against it
Have a look to: https://www.codeproject.com/Forums/1652005/Spam-and-Abuse-Watch.aspx
Forget it... I saw the other message and I got your irony...
BTW... I (did not) report your message for plagiarism
M.D.V. 
If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about?
Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you
Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.
modified 15-Feb-18 6:06am.
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... but missed the irony in the original ...
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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I know
M.D.V.
If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about?
Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you
Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.
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I saw it somewhere already ...
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I keep using Edge browser, and all of a sudden there comes a need to search something in google. (I feel google image search is better)
then I minimize Edge browser, open Chrome and type the search key and search.
It doesn't strike to mind that Chrome is not google. The separation of layers (browser-search engine) are mixed up. 
Its almost like looking for an android phone to login to your Gmail account. loll 
Starting to think people post kid pics in their profiles because that was the last time they were cute - Jeremy Falcon.
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Not "mixed up" but "better integrated" - and you don't have to use Google in Chrome, you can select your preferred search engine: "three dots", "Settings" - and it's under "Search Engine"
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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Mine says Google but uses Bing. It's been like that for the last few days after MS released some Windows updates.
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Them: I'm having a problem viewing the site
Me: What browser are you using?
Them: Google
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Vunic wrote: I keep using Edge
Why? 
... such stuff as dreams are made on
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That's Microsoft's cunning trap. They've done something with their Browser that's very crookedly stopping me to look for Chrome.
Starting to think people post kid pics in their profiles because that was the last time they were cute - Jeremy Falcon.
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