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I'd happily volunteer for GiveEmTheChOps, but us older, experienced-in-everything guys are more likely to be associated with CheOps.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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I write code:
DevelOps
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
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We have a person in the operations team that is responsible for identifying people, but they are a bit clumsy... WhoOps
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I need a slow clap emoticon
cheers
Chris Maunder
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Even without the emoji I can still hear the echo in the empty room.
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If you ever work for a digital agency you'll probably be practicing MiracleOps. It's when non-technical salespeople visit the client to try and secure the work, and in order to do so say "yes" to everything, from scope to timescales and budget. Only when the contract is signed and sealed do they hand the work off to you.
"You know Facebook, right? Well the client wants a site like that. They have a £100,000 budget and they want it live next month."
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I once worked for a software vendor where a particular salesman was in the habit of saying "yes" to everything, but qualifying it with "I'll show you a demo after lunch". On days when he was doing sales presentations I never got a lunch break; but he never once failed to demo a function that hadn't existed at the time he promised it, so I guess he knew my development abilities pretty accurately!
(After a while I made sure to stand at the back of the presentation room and nod or shake my head when a prospect asked "can it do xxxx?")
The company perks were pretty good so I didn't complain too loudly..
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EngineerOps.
I am expected to:
* Design software architecture
* Write the abovementioned software
* Troubleshoot said software
* Write documentation for the other developers of said software
* Write documentation for the end users of said software
* Design hardware architecture
* Write the firmware of the abovementioned hardware
* Troubleshoot said firmware
* Troubleshoot electrical / mechanical / electronic problems of said hardware
* Write documentation for installator and technician of said hardware
* Write documentation for the end user of said hardware
* Know all the normative of all the countries for any kind of anything that ever thinged...
* ...and how to implement it
* Sell the products to the customers
* Sell the products to the customers' customers
* Sell the products to themselves
* Recognise faults in customer companies organizations
* Fix faults in customer companies organizations
* Be grateful for a meager salary
Plus a broom up me backend so that I can clean up on my way out.
GCS d--(d+) s-/++ a C++++ U+++ P- L+@ E-- W++ N+ o+ K- w+++ O? M-- V? PS+ PE- Y+ PGP t+ 5? X R+++ tv-- b+(+++) DI+++ D++ G e++ h--- r+++ y+++* Weapons extension: ma- k++ F+2 X
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den2k88 wrote: Know all the normative of all the countries for any kind of anything that ever thinged...
 + 
cheers
Chris Maunder
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 And I thought I had it rough! At least I don't have to deal with hardware or international concerns! Keep up the good work! 
"Go forth into the source" - Neal Morse
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First it was industrial machines with a ton of extremely specialized hardware (X-ray generators, X-ray detectors, custom made boards and so on), in the international market subjected both to radioprotection laws and food&beverage treatment laws (when not pharmaceutical).
Now it is ECU diagnostic tools for a large car manifacturer, with a ton of extremely specialized hardware whose each unit costs about as much as one of the machines I developed and manifactured in the previous job. All this in an international market with all the laws for safety and vehicles safety.
I managed to get rid of VB6, I acquired a sh*tty Open Source GUI Toolit developed single handedly by a dutch who, I have reasons to believe, enjoyed the freedom in recreational drugs use of the Netherlands a bit too much.
Pros: the pay is much better.
Cons: the work environment managed to burn me out in 2 months, instead of the 5 years and a half that the old workplace took to get me at the same burn-out point.
GCS d--(d+) s-/++ a C++++ U+++ P- L+@ E-- W++ N+ o+ K- w+++ O? M-- V? PS+ PE- Y+ PGP t+ 5? X R+++ tv-- b+(+++) DI+++ D++ G e++ h--- r+++ y+++* Weapons extension: ma- k++ F+2 X
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den2k88 wrote: Now it is ECU diagnostic tools
Wow, you may be just the guy to answer a question I have.
My truck has a history of hard starting when the temperature drops below about 50F and it hasn't been started in a day or so. It turns over briskly, so not a battery issue. I always hesitate for several seconds on a cold start to give the fuel pump time to pressurize.
A recent google search led me to try using a hair dryer to warm the ECU for a couple of minutes. I didn't believe it until I tried it...three times now...wouldn't start, break out the hair dryer for a few minutes and it starts right up. My guess is I need a new ECU.
"Go forth into the source" - Neal Morse
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Which ECU? The least I saw in the oldest model I worked on have a dozen or more of them - new cars exceed 70. Did you know that the eben the tow bar has one? I didn't.
You probably have to replace that ECU but take a look where it is placed to check the presence of moisture - that could very well change the impedance on some ground connections, causing all kinds of inconveniences. Is it a common problem of that model or just yours?
Temperature and humidity severely impacts on electronic hardware.
GCS d--(d+) s-/++ a C++++ U+++ P- L+@ E-- W++ N+ o+ K- w+++ O? M-- V? PS+ PE- Y+ PGP t+ 5? X R+++ tv-- b+(+++) DI+++ D++ G e++ h--- r+++ y+++* Weapons extension: ma- k++ F+2 X
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I wanna become a professional organization ops. PoOps ![Java | [Coffee]](https://codeproject.global.ssl.fastly.net/script/Forums/Images/coffee.gif)
"If we don't change direction, we'll end up where we're going"
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I am a black-ops running clandestine personalities who spy on subconscious railroads.
cheers, Bill
«Where is the Life we have lost in living? Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge? Where is the knowledge we have lost in information?» T. S. Elliot
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I rap and I code - I'm basically a HipOps guy.
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. - Mark Twain
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Software Zen: delete this;
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I maintain and assist, so that would make me CoOps.
When you are dead, you won't even know that you are dead. It's a pain only felt by others.
Same thing when you are stupid.
modified 19-Nov-21 21:01pm.
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Hmm. I may have to update my job title to DSJOps(*).
(*) Departmental Sh!t-Job Ops.
Software Zen: delete this;
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Apparently Microsoft now has IconOps
It's time for RetOps or at least VacOps (not vacuum, unless that's your thing, but vacation--you know that mystical time when you have leisure time away from work for more than a weekend.)
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AnticHayOps!
(thank-you very much)
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All of the really bad puns aside, It is the SALES to CUSTOMERS that pay the bills. Including your salary. You should really be complaining about the clown that came up with the whole "Ops" naming scheme. 
Never complain about the guy bring the money in.
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Egyptian pharaohs were CheOps
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I once knew a doctor who was a proctops.
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This [^]is a genuine court case..
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