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OriginalGriff wrote: Only three more sleeps 'til Christmas!
Unless, of course, insomniacs are prepared to pay for my guaranteed anti-insomnia kit!
For a mere 299.99, I will solve all your insomniacative problems with the perfect cure for insomnia!*
Special discount rates are available for groups! Book now, before the rush!
* Two aspirin, and a mallet.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Does this come with a Free Kool Aid delivery system?
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I duckduckgo "starting a software business" and got the following:
How to Start a Software Company (with Pictures) - wikiHow[^]
I'm glad their will be pictures. 
Here are the first steps:
wiki said: 1) Develop programming and business expertise. Obtain a degree in computer science by taking programming classes...
So, in summary, to obtain business expertise all you need to do is take some programming classes.
wiki said: 2) Work for a software company in a management capacity. Strengthen your leadership and communication skills by managing people and bringing new software products to market.
But, you should also jump into a management role at a software company so you know how to order people around. 
wiki said:
3) Generate a product idea. Develop an innovative product idea based on what you have learned and observed about the needs of end users.
Finally, you need a product so what are you sitting around for? Make one up! 
So that's basically all there is to it. After reading those steps you should have all you need. But for the slow learners among us, there are more steps in the article.
And there is a test!
Quote: How can you make sure your product idea is viable? (choose only one)
[ ] Speak with experienced software developers.
[ ] Conduct market research.
[ ] Check to see if your idea has any patents or trademarks.
[ ] Create a business plan.
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raddevus wrote: 1) Develop programming and business expertise. Obtain a degree in computer science by taking programming classes...
And that's where he is wrong: he should take the "Become a Web Developer in 21 days" course. Those are perfect for busy self managers who need to create a product and sell it.
GCS d--(d+) s-/++ a C++++ U+++ P- L+@ E-- W++ N+ o+ K- w+++ O? M-- V? PS+ PE- Y+ PGP t+ 5? X R+++ tv-- b+(+++) DI+++ D++ G e++ h--- r+++ y+++* Weapons extension: ma- k++ F+2 X
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den2k88 wrote: he should take the "Become a Web Developer in 21 days" course. Those are perfect for busy self managers who need to create a product and sell it.
That's the more direct route to Complete Business Success that is only for Advanced Learners.
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You can go for software mate. I am going for the big bucks, on the same page:
"How to open a bank"
"If we don't change direction, we'll end up where we're going"
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megaadam wrote: I am going for the big bucks, on the same page:
"How to open a bank"
Easy as pie! You have money? I have a place to put it! Bank, opened!
Please though, if you are going to withdraw funds, let me know ahead of time. At least 3 months.
I need to make my way to a country that doesn't extradite.
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How can you make sure your product idea is viable? (choose only one)
[ ] Speak with experienced software developers.
[ ] Conduct market research.
[ ] Check to see if your idea has any patents or trademarks.
[ ] Create a business plan.
[X] Ask in QA and SO.
Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640
Never throw anything away, Griff
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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OriginalGriff wrote: [X] Ask in QA and SO.
The fact that you were able to alter the test and add the real answer shows that you are an advanced learner.
That means I can let you into the Platinum Tier of our Multi-level Marketing Scheme.
All you need to do is wire $3,000 to me and...
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Sure - just send me your account details, mother's maiden name, first pet's name, and date of birth (for security purposes) and I'll get right on it!
Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640
Never throw anything away, Griff
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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I can make it easier for you to send me the $$$. Go ahead and purchase $3,000 of iTunes cards and send them directly to me. 
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Didn't you read today's newsletter? iTunes is being killed!
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Asday wrote: Didn't you read today's newsletter?
I posted that yesterday.
Asday wrote: iTunes is being killed!
It's about time they killed that virus (install it on any machine and instantly the machine is ruined).
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This is like how to fall-in-love steps
[1] Get well dressed
[2] Prepare everything for the proposal
[3] Learn about love making
[4] Practise falling in love & test this well
[5] Find a good girl (move to production )
As mechanical as that!
Guess what? You dont know, people who are as robotic as this, at times succeed! , really.
And I've seen people who had a very customized aspiration for a girl, found one exactly and got married.
And they are even happier together. You never know! 
modified 3-Jun-19 9:09am.
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Nand32 wrote: You dont know, people who are as robotic as this, at times succeed!
Yeah, dumb luck happens. Stupid, ignorant, foolish coincidence does occur and some people are just standing there waiting. Then, later, when they're rich, they say things like, "I can teach you how to be rich!"
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raddevus wrote: Then, later, when they're rich, they say things like, "I can teach you how to be rich!"
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The best way to make a million dollars is to convince a million people you know how to make a million dollars and charge them each a dollar for that information.
I remember back during the internet boom, there were all these commercials about startups (the founders of which were all hipster models of course) who just needed to create that amazing web site, then they enable it, and the purchase counter goes flying up so fast that they start panicking. It was easy to believe back then.
Explorans limites defectum
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The pictures on the article were amusing
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Nand32 wrote: The pictures on the article were amusing
Yeah, totally useless. Pictures of dollar signs, upward ticking arrows, etc. All you need in business are some nice graphics that show an arrow pointing up and to the right.
Every Business Manager Ever! We'll make millions. It's proven by this graph!
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Ron Anders wrote: Oh boy.
So easy it's shocking, right? I bet you'll start 11 Software Companies today and have a couple million $ in the bank by end of day tomorrow.
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Point 2: Managers, schmanagers. If you want to learn how to order people around, then go to the right place and get yourself promoted high enough that the first and the last word out of your subalternals' dirty mouths should be 'Sir!' when they have anything to say. By the way you learn shooting, tactics and everything else you need to eat clueless managers for breakfast.
Or, as Clint Eastwood put it:
Quote: Be advised that I'm mean, nasty, and tired. I eat concertina wire and piss napalm and I can put a round through a flea's ass. (Rest omitted for kid sister's sake)
I have lived with several Zen masters - all of them were cats.
His last invention was an evil Lasagna. It didn't kill anyone, and it actually tasted pretty good.
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CodeWraith wrote: ...I can put a round through a flea's ass...
(Rest omitted for kid sister's sake)
So can my kid sister (she was a firearms instructor in the IDF)
Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows.
-- 6079 Smith W.
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and let me guess, she does not likee people such as some know it all managers. 
I have lived with several Zen masters - all of them were cats.
His last invention was an evil Lasagna. It didn't kill anyone, and it actually tasted pretty good.
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Well, the guide is well-meaning but sadly WRONG.
The more reliable approach is:
1) Sit in a bar with your buddy and say "Gee! Have you noticed how all the money is in computers and stuff these days?
2) Come up with a great idea by looking at a successful business and deciding to copy it.
3) Get a venture capitalist on board by talking about fanciful made-up-on-the-spot margins and giving it large with the whole Apprentice-style "I is a business tiger! I is always selling fridges to Inuits, innit?" routine.
4) Find an office on an "innovation park" in the middle of nowhere.
5) Think of an original name (you can either go down literal route e.g. MyAttemptAtAmazon.com but that's a bit last week, alternatively just invent a new word that'll be really Google-friendly but utterly non-descriptive, let's say "Squonkle").
6) Spend money where it matters, on logos and signage.
7) Hire a code monkey (bad ones are a dime a dozen and you can probably get away with having just one as they don't really do anything useful). Give them some vague instructions involving the words "cloud" and "Agile" and tell them that you need their software to be building warehouses and delivering goods by the end of last week.
8) Borrow a couple of million to pay an SEO consultant who will guarantee that you are always the top result for "Squonkle".
9) Declare yourself bankrupt, leaving a long trail of bad debts (if there's any justice in the world, these will include the 2 million owed to the SEO consultant - unless you went to school with him, of course).
10) GOTO 1 (that's techie talk, that is - shows you're in the groove and primed to succeed!).
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. - Mark Twain
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