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I thought it was a little unfair on some members who wouldn't necessarily know where "Mr Auld" lives and works. Perhaps just using "Scotsmans high ground" or similar would have been fairer - I dunno, I'm not the setter, because my mind just doesn't work that way. 
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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I thought the Mr Auld reference was a dead give away. I was thinking of Scottish ranges immediately and I'm on the other side of the world!
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Anyone who frequents these parts knows Dave likes to go downhill fast and that he lives in the Granite City.
It was a was and lonely place yerunnerstan?
---------------------------------
Obscurum per obscurius.
Ad astra per alas porci.
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur .
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A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde flight attendant to take care of them for him.
She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator.
He very crassly advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer, and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out...
Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior.
Shortly before landing in New York... she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin... "Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs in New Orleans please raise your hand?"
Needless to say, not one hand went up.
So she took them home and ate them!
Two lessons here:
1. Lawyers aren't as smart as they think they are.
2. Blondes aren't as dumb as most folks think.
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The Israelis and Arabs realized that, if they continued fighting, they would someday end up destroying the whole world. So they decided to settle their dispute with an ancient practice: a duel of two, like David and Goliath. This "duel" would be a dog fight.
The Arabs found the biggest, meanest Dobermans and Rottweilers in the world. They bred them together and then crossed their offspring with the meanest Siberian wolves.
The negotiators agreed each side would take 5 years to develop the best fighting dog they could. The dog that won the fight would earn its people the right to rule the disputed areas. The losing side would have to lay down its arms for good.
They selected only the biggest, strongest puppy of each litter, fed it the best food and killed all the other puppies. They used steroids and trainers in their quest for the perfect killing machine. After the 5 years were up, they had a dog that needed steel prison bars on its cage. Only expert trainers could handle this incredibly nasty and ferocious beast.
When the day of the big dog-fight finally arrived, the Israelis showed up with a very strange-looking animal, a Dachshund that was 10 feet long!
Everyone at the dogfight arena felt sorry for the Israelis.. No one there seriously thought this weird, odd-looking animal stood any chance against the growling beast over in the Arab camp. All the bookies took one look and predicted that the Arab dog would win in less than a minute.
As the cages were opened, the Dachshund slowly waddled toward the center of the ring.
The Arab dog leaped from its cage and charged the giant wiener-dog.
As he got to within an inch of the Israeli dog, the Dachshund opened its jaws and swallowed the Arab beast whole in one bite. There was nothing left but a small puff of fur from the Arab killer dog's tail floating to the ground.
The stunned crowd of international observers, bookies and media personnel let out a collective gasp of disbelief and surprise.
The Arabs approached the Israelis, muttering and shaking their heads in disbelief. "We do not understand," said their leader, "Our top scientists and breeders worked for 5 long years with the meanest, biggest Dobermans, Rottweilers and Siberian wolves, and they developed an incredible killing machine of a dog!"
The Israelis replied. "Well, for 5 years, we have had a team of Jewish plastic surgeons from Boca Raton working to make an alligator look like a Dachshund."
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You should maybe move it to the jokebox before the posse wakes up.
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You only have 30 minutes. 
Don't mind those people who say you're not HOT. At least you know you're COOL.
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"The negotiators"
I gave up when I got to that bit
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Moral of the Story: The Israelis cheat, no matter what!!!
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Or, as your post proves . . . they rely upon their brains.
As for their neighbors? All one need do is look!
| "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | | "As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error." - Weisert | | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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Spent my weekend in the province and it's kinda refreshing. How about you?
Don't mind those people who say you're not HOT. At least you know you're COOL.
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I spent my weekend at the seaside (  ), it was definitely very refreshing!
(p.s. Stairs on this place are a nightmare!)
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DaveAuld wrote: (p.s. Stairs on this place are a nightmare!)
where? are you living near the sea?
Don't mind those people who say you're not HOT. At least you know you're COOL.
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read my profile......that will explain all!
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Haha! Sorry, I didn't know.. 
Don't mind those people who say you're not HOT. At least you know you're COOL.
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I spent my weekend with my kids, took them to a place where they can play with lots of toys..then took them to the malls..had evening snacks @ McDonalds..n then played with them...Kinda refreshing for me as well as for them
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that's awesome.. 
Don't mind those people who say you're not HOT. At least you know you're COOL.
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Thanks..all of us had nice time and got me refreshed!!!
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the reason why I always want to go home. Seeing them (my other siblings and my mom) makes me feel so alive again. 
Don't mind those people who say you're not HOT. At least you know you're COOL.
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Dinesh.V.Kumar wrote: had evening snacks @ McDonalds
So you don't like your family then.
speramus in juniperus
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Nope...Just tat my kids hadnt tried a burger so far and wanted to do so...I wanted 2 show them how bad it is and took them 2 McDonalds!!!
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I've just spent a weekend back home in Australia after a Winter in Toronto that just doesn't want to quit.
I feel pretty damn good!
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Chris Maunder wrote: I've just spent a weekend back home in Australia after a Winter in Toronto that just doesn't want to quit.
I feel pretty damn good!
My phone must be broken.
Michael Martin
Australia
"I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible."
- Mr.Prakash One Fine Saturday. 24/04/2004
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Here in the Philippines, we're starting to feel that summer is approaching!
Don't mind those people who say you're not HOT. At least you know you're COOL.
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